


Runaway Bride

by shortie990



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 73,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortie990/pseuds/shortie990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, Piper Chapman is about to walk down the aisle with the man of her dreams but what if faith as other plans for her?  A certain raven haired beauty is back in Piper's life.  Will she go the safe root with Larry or chose the unknowable future with Alex?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue- forever is a fucking long time

Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

Prologue- forever is a fucking long time...

Saturday, June 22nd- 2:15 pm

Piper couldn't breathe.

She didn't know what the fuck to do?

She loved Larry.

But she loved Alex too.

She didn't know who to choose.

Tears brimmed her eyes as wave of panic washed over her. However she quickly blinked them away. She couldn't allow herself to cry. It would ruin her make-up, that the artist had just completed painting on her face. Polly would have a shit-fest for sure if she saw one drop of mascara run down her cheek.

"Fuck!" cursed Piper to herself as she paced around the small dressing room. The tulle of her skirt rustling with every step she took. She was fully dressed in her wedding dress and was suppose to be walking down the aisle in less than fifteen minutes.

"Fuck!" she cursed again to herself. It wasn't suppose to be like this. This was suppose to be the happiest day of her life. However, it felt nothing like that. She was on the edge of a nervous break down. She was finally getting the wedding she had dreamt of as a little girl. Finally marring her prince charming. She frowned slightly at this. Larry was no prince charming. He was a good guy. The funny, nice boy but he was no prince charming. At least not to Piper.

"Fuck!" she swore again. She had stopped pacing and was now looking at her reflection in the mirror. She frowned at what she saw. She didn't look anything like a blushing bride, she thought. The perfect dress that she had picked out almost a year ago now, seemed to be too much. It was too frilly. Too princessey. It didn't seem to be her at all. It was a strapless off-white mermaid style dress. It had a tiered pleated skirt made out of tulle and chapel train. It had a sweet-heart neckline which was also pleated. There was beaded embellishments underneath the bust line and on the top pleat of the skirt. It had seemed like the one at the time but now she was having second thoughts about it. Just like she was having second thoughts about the whole wedding and who she was choosing to be with forever.

"Forever is a fucking long time," she whispered out loud to herself. She didn't know if she wanted a forever with Larry. She didn't want to wake up one morning after being married for 20 years and three children later, and regret the whole thing. Just like her mother had done with her father. She didn't want to end up resenting Larry. She wanted to only get married once in her life.

"Fuck. Chapman. Get your self together!" she murmured to her reflection in the mirror.

Of course she loved Larry. They had been together for almost five years now. She had been so happy when he had proposed to her at the cape. She'd felt like the happiest girl on the planet at the time and had been, up until ten days ago, that was.

Ten days ago, she'd ran into a woman she had thought she would never see again. A woman she hadn't seen in almost eight years.

Alex Vause had stepped back into her life.

If this was faith way of telling her something. She got the message loud and clear.

Alex was no Larry. She was Alex. She was like no one else Piper had ever met before and after being with her. She was sexy, damn sexy. She oozed confident. She was reckless and loved adventure. And the woman of Piper's dreams. She loved her. She fucking loved Alex Vause.

"Fuck!" swore Piper again in frustration. She hated that it had come down to this. That she had to pick between Larry, a great guy and Alex, damn, sexy woman. She had to choose between a safe and normal life or a wild, unpredictable adventure. Why couldn't she just have both? Why couldn't she just for once, have her cake and eat it too?

She didn't know what to do. Her heart was saying one thing but her brain was saying another.

However, before she could think about the choice she had to make, there came a loud knock at the dressing room door, interrupting her from self-combusting. Piper looked over her shoulder as the door opened and her father, Richard popped his head inside. Their eyes locked with one another.

"Pippi," spoke her father in a soft and gentle voice.

"Is it time?" she asked towards him, all colour draining from her face, a feeling of dread washing suddenly over her.

"It's time!" confirmed her father, a warm smile appearing on his face as he took a step further into the room and held out his arm for Piper to take.

The wedding was about to begin.


	2. hump day is a drinking day

Wednesday, June 12th- 9:56 pm

The bar was noisy and surprisingly crowded for it being a night in the middle of the week, thought Piper to herself as she shifted her weight on the bar stool and looked around the room. She didn't normally go out drinking after work, unless it was a friend's birthday or a celebration of sorts.

However, it was neither of those things.

Her friend, Polly had texted her earlier on in the day, asking her to grab a drink with her after work. Piper had said no at first but Polly had kept on bothering her until she had agreed to come out for one drink with her. However, that had been almost three hours ago now and Piper was on her fourth apple martini.

"I still can't believe how busy it is in here," commented Piper as she turned herself on the stool and looked on at Polly, who was seated on the bar stool beside hers.

Polly just shrugged her shoulders at this, barely taking in the crowded bar scene before her. "Hump day is a drinking day," she replied as she took a sip from her cocktail straw and locked eyes with Piper.

Piper just stared back at her friend in puzzlement. She'd never heard that one before. But Polly was drunk and she had to admit she was a little too. The two friends had originally planned on meeting up to discuss some things about their soap business together, as well as the wedding. Polly was not only Piper's best friend. But she was also, her business partner, Maid of Honour and wedding planner. They'd normally had gone over to either Polly's townhouse or Piper's apartment, but Polly insisted that Piper needed to get out one last time before she got married. Because once she shut the door to singlehood, there would be no time for after work drinks with the girls or any of that. It would be all about cleaning the house before the in-laws came by for dinner and scheduled sex. And trust Polly on this, she had been married now for almost six years to Pete. Good old Pete.

"Now Pipes, focus," cried out Polly, snapping her fingers in front of Piper's face, who was not paying any attention to her again. "We still have to discuss the seating plan. Are we sitting your parents at the same table or not?"

"Sorry," murmured Piper as she placed her now empty glass onto the surface of the bar and once again looked on at her friend. "What were you saying?" she asked, as she pushed her hair out of her face.

Polly just rolled her eyes before repeating the question to Piper. She had her iPhone out and was rapidly taking notes on it. "The seating plan. Do you want to sit your parents at different tables or will they be civil together for once?"

"Definitely different tables!" replied Piper not missing a bit this time. "Don't you remember what happened at Cal's wedding last summer! They hadn't even been sitting that close together and got into a fight. Most definitely different tables that are on different sides of the room!" She was talking animatingly with her hands now, " OR even better, different rooms!" She grinned wildly at her own joke. She was most defiantly drunk now, she thought to herself as she brought both of her hands up to her fleshed cheeks. She needed to get home soon. Larry was probably wondering where she was. She told him she would be home by 9.

Polly laughed along with Piper at this.

Carol and Richard Chapman never got along with each other since their divorce almost twelve years ago now. Piper growing up couldn't remember her parents ever fighting. But now into her twenties, that's all they seemed to do. And they weren't even under the same roof anymore. Her father was still upset that her mother had left him all those years ago for another man. And her mother was just upset that her father was still mad about it.

The two friends continued to talk and giggle drunkenly with each other for a few moments longer before being interrupted suddenly by Piper's BlackBerry going off. Piper looked down at the screen and sighed a little. It was Larry calling. She mouthed this towards Polly, who was looking at her with a questionable expression on her face.

"Hey Baby," she answered sweetly into the phone as she pressed it against her ear. She then turned her attention once again out onto the crowded bar scene.

"Hey, Pipes," came a tired sounding Larry.

"What's up?" she asked, pretending to play dumb on why her fiancé was calling her.

"Nothing much," answered Larry back. "I was just wondering if you where planning on coming home anytime soon. It's getting a bit late."

Piper couldn't help, but feel like a teenager getting called by her parents to come home on a school night. "I know it is. I'm sorry. Me and Polly just got into talking and...you know how it is," She let out a nervous laugh before promising Larry she would be home in an half hour. "Yes, yes Larry. I will not have another drink. I will leave the bar immediately and head home."

The couple continued to talk for a few moments before saying goodbye with one another. "Ughh, he is such a worry wart sometimes!" complained Piper as she rolled her eyes and turned to face Polly again.

"Well, at least he still calls you, worried!" cried Polly, "I told Pete I would be home at like 8 and it's now 10 and he still hasn't called me, asking where I am! Appreciate it well you still have it Pipes! Because once your married, he won't be calling worried so often!"

Piper just held her friend's gaze for a second before reaching for her purse and shoving her phone back into it. "Let's head home," she whispered towards Polly. She knew that her friend had a point that after she got married, everything between her and Larry would be different. But she didn't necessary think that was a bad thing. Different was good sometimes.

She didn't mind change.

Polly, nodded her head in agreement before reaching for her own purse and sliding off of the bar stool. She swayed a little as she stood on her feet. She was a little unstable but she'd worse before.

Piper followed her friend's example and got to her feet. She reached out, onto the other woman's arm for support as she felt her knees slightly buckle from underneath her but she soon found her balance. The room blurred slightly as she stood there. Wow, maybe she'd drank a lot more then she originally thought she had. Meeting Polly's eye, the two women burst out laughing. They where extremely drunk it seemed as they then began to walk arm and arm out of the crowded bar like they where twenty again.

* * *

The Rolling Stones pounded loudly out from the speaker above, making the patio floor vibrate.

It was dark out now, but it was still surprisingly warm as Alex leaned back in her chair and glanced up at the night sky of the city. It was definitely summer time, she thought as her eyes scanned around the crowded patio of the bar. Only in the summer did people in the city seem to drink really in the middle of the week. She couldn't help but smirk slightly at this.

Ever since getting out of jail a year ago to the day, she found herself being reawaken to all the strange things she'd never really noticed before about people. Like the crowds of people you could find on a Wednesday night at any bar patio in June. But in winter, it would be dead. Everyone in winter seemed to just go straight home after work and hibernate or something. But the minute the weather warmed, people where out and about enjoying the world once again.

This was just one of the many other things she marvelled out nowadays.

"VAUSE!" called out a familiar voice over the loudness of the music from above Alex's head. She quickly snapped out of her thoughts at this and looked immediately over to the person, who had called her name. Her face broke out into a broad smile as she pushed back her chair and stood to hug the familiar woman.

"Nichols!" spoke Alex as she wrapped her arms around one of her oldest and closest friends.

The two women continued to hug for a moment longer before breaking part.

"You're looking good!" complimented Nicky as she held Alex at arm's length and scanned her eyes over her entire frame.

"Thanks," murmured Alex, suddenly over come with shyness. She raised a hand and nervously adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose. "You don't look to bad yourself either!" She added with honesty as she took in the sun kissed skin of the other woman's face and body. It had been almost a year since they had last seen each other.

The two friend continued to smile at one another before briefly hugging again before taking their seats at the table. "Have you been waiting long?" asked Nicky as she reached towards the drink menu on the table and glanced across at Alex.

Alex leaned her elbows onto the surface of the table, "No, not really. Five minutes. Maybe?" she replied with a shrug.

Nicky nodded her head slowly in understanding as she dropped her eyes onto the menu. A brief awkward silence then fell between the two of them, but it was quickly interrupted by the appearance of the waitress. She was a young college student with ombre hair tied up into a high pony-tail. She smiled broadly at the two woman before introducing herself as Aimee.

"She's cute!" commented Nicky as she watched as Aimee walked away from their table after taking their drink order of a Steam Whistle for Alex and a screwdriver for Nicky.

Alex couldn't help but roll her eyes at her friend. Something never changed.

"What?" asked Nicky, an amused look on her face. "She is!"

"She's also _very_ young," pointed out Alex, a smirk playing on her face.

"I'm sure she is over 21!" replied Nicky towards Alex.

Again, Alex rolled her eyes, "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah so?!" replied Nicky, a smile playing on her face as she leaned back against her seat. "I'm allowed to still window shop!"

Alex just smirked and shook her head at how Nicky's mind worked. The two women continued to grin at each other for a second before Alex broke the silence. "How is it going with that?" she asked out of curiosity. For the whole twelve years or so that Alex had known Nicky for, she had never had a serious girlfriend. She'd much rather play the field then be tied down to only one person for too long.

"What? With Lorna," spoke Nicky as she locked eyes with Alex. "It's going good. She's great!"

"How long has it been?"

"Almost eighteen months now," replied Nicky as she looked up to the sky, deep in thought.

"Wow!" cried Alex in disbelief. "I didn't think you had it in you!"

"Me either!" Nicky smiled at this. "I can't believe it Vause sometimes, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way, you know? I love her!" There was still a smile on her face. But there was also deep devotion in her eyes for the woman she loved.

Alex smiled a sad smile at this. She was happy for her friend. She was. She just couldn't help, but feel a little saddened over her own situation. It had been a long time since she had been with anyone- had been so crazy in love, the way that Nicky seemed to be over Lorna.

Noticing the look on Alex's face, Nicky quickly changed the topic. "So how about you, Vause? Got any girls in sight?"

Alex just glared at her friend for a moment before turning her attention onto the crowded patio. This was why she hated being single. For this one question. Was she seeing anyone? It drove her crazy to be asked it. And it seemed the older she got, the more often she got it. She let out a small sigh before returning her attention onto the woman seated across from her. "No, not really. Just been trying to get a job and a place to live then a girl to fuck!" She didn't mean for her words to come out harsh, but she couldn't help the sudden anger she was feeling.

The last year had been an emotional turmoil for her. With getting readjusted to life in the real world. After getting released from Litchfield on patrol, she had been living in a halfway house, up until a few weeks ago. She had finally earned enough money to afford a place of her own. It was not as big or lush as her previous apartment had been but it was still all hers and she loved it. As for a job, Alex had been working lousy full-time jobs. She missed the drug business and the thrill that came with it. But she knew, she couldn't go back to that lifestyle. She didn't wan to go back to jail. So she was trying to get a normal job. Like a regular person. But with her criminal record and no college education. She wasn't good enough for much. She had worked as a receptionist at a small office for six weeks before getting fired. Her next job had been working as a florist. She had liked that one but had gotten fired for being late too many times. That one had lasted four months. Her third one had been as a maid. But that had reminded her too much of her job working the laundry mat in prison and quit after two days. Her patrol officer had been less then impressed with that one. She was now working at a small family portrait studio. She had started off with just being an receptionist but was slowly learning the business and was now being trained to be one of the photographers. She had been there six months now and was enjoying it.

"Well, it sounds like you could use a good fuck. Want me to see if Aimee is available for ya?" asked Nicky, a slow smile playing on her face. "She's your type right? I know you like the blondes, but she half blonde. That's as good as nothing right?"

Alex just glared at the other woman for a second before bursting out laughing. Nicky could always put a smile on her face.

* * *

"This is so fucking stupid!" cried out Piper as she watched as another taxi sped by her and Polly outside the bar. It seemed like they had been standing there forever trying to wave down a taxi. "Maybe, we should just call for one?" she suggested as she looked over at Polly.

"No, we would have to wait twice as long then!" argued back Polly as she stared down the street of New York. "Come on, maybe we'll have better luck if we walk a little further down the street." She then grabbed Piper by the arm and began to pull her down the sidewalk.

The feisty Brunette was determined to get a cab.

"You know with all this waiting we're doing, we could probably just walk home and be there in the same amount of time," rambled on Piper drunkenly as she followed her friend, the heels of her shoes clicking against the sidewalk with each step.

"You're seriously telling me that you would walk the six blocks to your apartment in those heels?" ask Polly, who had stopped walking and gestured to Piper's feet. She was wearing a pair of five inch nude platforms.

Piper slightly stumbled at Polly's abrupt stop. Her blue eyes glared at her friend before looking down at her feet. Yeah, they where a little hard to walk in she had to admit. Maybe it was better to wait for a taxi, she thought to herself before smiling sheepishly up at Polly. She hated when she was right.

Polly just smiled smugly back at this. She loved being right.

The two friend then continued to walk down the block and turned the corner. They hoped that they would be a little more successful in grabbing a taxi home here, away from the crowded entrance of the bar. However, just as they rounded the corner, a swarm of people were piling out of another bar entrance.

Piper signed at this, "We're never going to get a taxi, Pol!"

"Just watch," commented Polly as she leaned into the road and waved her arm at a taxi in the distance.

Piper just watched her friend for a second before someone called her name loudly from behind.

"CHAPMAN!"

Piper frowned slightly as she turned in the direction of the call. Her heart skipped a beat as she took in two faces from her past.

"OH MY GOD! NICKY!" she squealed in excitement at seeing her old friend. Her face broke out into a smile as her blue eyes continued to take in her friend's appearance.

"It's good to see ya, Chapman!" spoke Nicky as she returned the blonde's smile. The two friends hadn't seen one another in a few years now. They continued gawk at one another before Piper suddenly threw her arms around the shorter woman and gave her a hug. Nicky couldn't help, but chuckle a the blonde excitement as she hugged her back.

"It's been what like..." Piper voice trailed off as the two women pulled away from each other.

"Eight years," spoke Nicky finishing Piper's sentence. They hadn't seen each other since they graduated from Smith, back in 2005.

"Wow!" murmured Piper in disbelief. She couldn't believe it had been so long. Her and Nicky had been really close friends. She couldn't believe they had lost touch like that. But deep down she had a pretty good idea why, though. It had to do with a certain raven haired beauty.

The same one who was standing awkwardly behind Nicky. Her green eyes piercing into Piper's face. She couldn't forget those sea green eyes if she wanted to try. They still haunted Piper in her dreams at night.

Piper looked passed Nicky's shoulder and locked eyes with Alex. A current of electricity sparked between the two of them. It had been so long since they'd seen one another, but in that moment, it seemed like no time had passed.

"Hey Kid," spoke Alex in that raspy voice of hers that could make Piper's whole body stand on edge. There was a slight smirk on the older woman's face as she continued to peer at her over the rims of her glasses.

Piper's heart skipped a beat at hearing her old nick name. She couldn't believe that after all the years that had passed, Alex still had an effect on her. She didn't know if it was the alcohol that was still in her system or something else, but she had a desperate need to kiss Alex. She shouldn't be feeling this way, she thought. She had been the one to leave her. It had been eight years since they had seen each other. She was in love with Larry now. So why were these old feelings stirring in her stomach?

Piper, closed her eyes briefly before opening them and smiling shyly back at Alex. She ran a nervous hand through her hair. "Hi!" she whispered

"Pipes! I got a taxi!" cried out Polly's voice suddenly. She turned to look over her shoulder at Piper and the two other women standing around her.

Piper turned immediately at this and looked on at her friend. She raised her eyebrows at her, who was staring back at her in confusion. Polly didn't realize who the other two women where. Piper was torn between reintroducing Polly to Nicky and Alex or just wave goodbye and leave as quickly as possible.

However, before she could make up her mind, it was made up for her. Polly didn't understand why Piper was acting so strange all the sudden, but she didn't care. "Come on Pipes," she spoke as she grabbed Piper by the wrist and began to pull her into the backseat of the taxi.

Piper looked briefly back over her shoulder before ducking her head into the back of the taxi.

This all felt like a surreal dream to her.

"Damn!" whispered Nicky as the two of them stood on the sidewalk watching as Piper got in the taxi and it quickly drove away. "Chapman looks good!"

Alex just adjusted her glasses nervously on the bridge of her nose. She didn't say anything in reply, but she didn't disagree with what Nicky had said. Piper did look good she had to admit.

A silence then fell over the two women before Nicky wrapped an arm around Alex's waist, "Come on Vause, I'm taking you home!" And with that the two friends then began to walk down the street, headed towards Nicky's apartment.

* * *

"Who do you keep on looking at?" complained Polly towards Piper, who was paying no attention to her. She kept on staring out the back window of the taxi and at Nicky and Alex, who where still standing on the sidewalk.

"PIPER!" cried out Polly, in frustration.

Piper continued to fix her gaze onto Nicky and Alex as the taxi drove away. She didn't turn around until the two woman where out of her sight. She let out a sigh as she turned to face Polly, who was waiting for an explanation. "Who where those two women?" she asked.

"Alex and Nicky," whispered Piper in reply, her blue eyes looking over at Polly.

The brunette's brows fussed together in confusion before it dawned on her, who Piper was talking about.

"SUPERCUNT!?"

"Yes," whispered Piper harshly, motioning for Polly to keep it down. The taxi driver had just given them a dirty look .

"Sorry," whispered back Polly. "But seriously...that was Supercunt and her other lesbo friend?"

"Yes! It was Alex and Nicky. Who by the way was my friend too." pointed out Piper.

Polly just looked on at her for a second before rolling her eyes at Piper, murmuring something about how Nicky had hardly been her friend. Polly had always been jealous of Piper's friendship with Nicky during their university years. Polly hadn't gone to Smith but to UCLA. The distance between the two childhood friends had been rough at times. Polly had been jealous of Piper new bohemian lifestyle while she struggled to make friends in California.

An awkward silence then fell between the women as the taxi continued to drive in the direction of Piper's apartment. Old feelings of Jealously and anger swirled through Polly as she slumped herself back in the seat and crossed her arms over her chest. Piper continued to look on at her friend before sighing and turning her attention out the window, watching the city blur by.

She tried to focus on the wedding, but found her thoughts continued to drift towards Alex.


	3. piper chapman, soon to be piper bloom

Thursday, June 13th- 11:02 am

The sun was bright and shining by the time Alex woke up the next morning. It took her a moment to adjust to the light pouring in from the window.

A moan of pain escaped from her lips at the sudden throbbing of her head as she tried to sit up. She was hung-over from last night. After running into Piper, she'd gone back to Nicky's loft apartment in Soho. It was there, they had drank some more into the wee hours of the morning talking about the good old days.

Alex didn't remember falling asleep, but at some point she must've passed out on Nicky's couch. Letting out another moan, Alex lay her head back down onto the pillows of the couch and threw an arm over her eyes, blocking out the sunlight. She was hoping to fall back to sleep as her brain continued to pound against her skull.

However, before she could drift back to dream world, the room filled with music. It was her cell phone going off.

"For fuck's sake," murmured Alex to herself as she blindly felt for her phone in her jean pocket. She didn't bother opening her eyes as she fumbled with the phone before pressing it to her ear. At least she was still dressed, she thought.

That was a change.

There had been a number of times when she had woken up in Nicky's apartment without her clothes on. Too many times then Alex liked to count. In their younger years before Piper, the two had occasionally gotten drunk and slept together. But once Alex had started seeing Piper, there had been no fuck-bubby system anymore. There had been a period after Piper had left her that Alex and Nicky had tried going out as girlfriend and girlfriend. But that hadn't lasted for long. Alex had been too hung up on Piper and Nicky being Nicky had slept with someone else. They both had then decided that they were better off as friends- who sometimes had sex. It had been a while since they had slept together, four years ago. The night before Alex had been sent to Litchfield. It had been Nicky's going away present to her.

"Hello?" she spoke into the phone. Her voice coming out dry and raspier than usual. Her tongue felt like sandpaper against the insides of her mouth.

"Alex! HI!" cried a high pitched voice. "It's Stacy calling from the studio!"

Like, she knew any other Stacy's, thought Alex to herself as she cringed at the sudden voice continuing to talk rapidly into her ear. Stacy was a young busybody, who was currently the receptionist at the photo studio. She worked there part-time while she worked on her master's in Fine Arts. She was a nice girl, but talked way too much for Alex's liking.

"I know it's your day off and such but Marco isn't here...well he phoned in sick. And there's a lady here...a Mrs. Bloom, who is suppose to meet with him to go over the final arrangements before her wedding," rambled on Stacy into the phone.

"Wait! A client is there now...waiting!?" asked Alex, trying to process all this in her hung-over state. She had a good idea that Marco was most defiantly not sick but hung- over like herself. She knew that her boss had a gallery opening the night before and was probably sleeping off the free wine. This wasn't the first time she'd been phone in on her day off.

"Yes!" cried Stacy. "I wouldn't have bothered you otherwise, but Marco said to phone you."

"For fucks sake!" cursed Alex underneath her breathe. She wasn't in the state at the moment to go to work and deal with a client, who would probably be one of the those crazy brides. But she knew she had no other choice. She couldn't afford to be fired. "Kay, tell the client to wait in Marco's office. I'll be there in ten or so." Alex then ended the call.

She needed to get her ass in gear.

Letting out a sigh, she slowly once again tried to sit up. She ignored the protest of her body as she swung her legs over the side of the couch and rose slowly to her feet. Her eyes blurred slightly as they looked blindly for her glasses. It didn't take her too long to find them, though. They were resting on the coffee table.

Alex hadn't been expecting to go into work today. She was suppose to be spending the rest of the day with Nicky and Lorna. She had met Lorna briefly last night, but she didn't recall much of the meeting. She let out a small groan as she began to walk through the apartment, towards the front door. She knew it wasn't that early in the morning now, but she knew that Nicky was still asleep. The bedroom door was closed. She would just text her saying she got called into work, but should meet up later in the day.

Her movements were zombie like as she slowly pulled on her black motorcycle boots, which had been left at the front door and proceed to make her way out of the loft. She couldn't help, but feel like she was doing the walk of shame in away. She was in no state to meet a client at the moment with her still being in the same clothes from last night. Her long black hair was greasy and needed a good washing. She knew she told Stacy she would be there in ten, but Alex needed to head home first. She needed to look some what presentable, she thought as she proceed out of the building and began to walk towards her own apartment, which was only a few blocks away.

* * *

Piper texted rapidly on her BlackBerry as she waited.

She was texting Polly about the soap business. They were finally moving up from just having their online store to selling in Barney's. Everything was still up in the air about it but once the paperwork and final details where hammer out, The Popi line would be in stores. Both women were thrilled about this new client for their business. It was a big stepping stone for the company.

From what had started out, almost three years ago with making soap in Polly's kitchen on a raining Sunday to having a whole product line from soap to lotions at Barney's was unbelievable to Piper. Everything in her life was finally coming together or so it seemed. In a few short days, she would be marrying the man of her dreams and would soon have a successful business. She had everything going for her or so it seemed. But, Piper deep down felt like something was missing from her life. She just wasn't sure what it was exactly?

She let out a sigh as she threw her BlackBerry back into her purse and leaned back in the plush leather seat in the office. The photographer was running late.

The receptionist had said they were on their way and to wait in the office. However that had almost been twenty minutes ago now. She was getting a little inpatient. She had other things to do that day and didn't have time to wait around. She figured she would give the photographer another five minutes before leaving. She could always reschedule the appointment, she figured. She had already met the photographer once before. A friend had recommended him.

Marco Lopez was an artist turned wedding photographer. He was suppose to be the next big thing in photography or something. Piper wasn't really sure. She just knew she liked the guy's photography. It wasn't the cheezy posed shots that most of her friends wedding photos consisted of. They were different. She liked that. This appointment was just to go over how her wedding day would go and what kind of shots she wanted from the ceremony to the reception.

Just as she reached for her BlackBerry, which had just gone off, indicating she had a text message, the office door opened.

"Sorry about the wait," spoke a way too familiar voice.

Piper immediately sat up in her seat and tore her eyes away from her phone and onto the woman.

"Alex!?" she gasped in utter shock to see her ex-girlfriend. She had been expecting a short man with a thick Spanish accent. Not a tall raven haired woman with a sexy raspy voice.

Alex stopped immediately in her tracks and looked up from the piece paper, she'd been reading. Her green eyes locked with Piper's. Like Piper, she was in shock to see the blonde so soon again. She had been expecting a Ms. Bloom, not a Ms. Chapman.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as the two women continued to gawk at one another.

"Hi," whispered Alex awkwardly. She nervously adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose before lowering her gaze away from Piper and walked towards the desk.

"So I guess congratulations are in order," observed Alex as she took the seat behind the desk and once again looked on at Piper.

Piper was still at a lost for words as she continued to look at Alex. She didn't no quite what to make of all this.

"Uh?" she murmured in confusion.

Alex laughed slightly at the blonde's puzzlement. She then gestured to the paper in her hand, which was Piper's client profile. "It says here you're getting married. Who's the lucky girl?" she asked out of curiosity, cocking an eyebrow at the blonde. "Who's this Mrs. Bloom?"

"Oh!" replied Piper in realization. She then flushed a bright red in embarrassment. "I'm the Mrs. Bloom...Larry Bloom is my fiancé." She nervously pushed her hair behind her ears and smiled a tight smile at Alex.

Alex's eyes widened slightly in surprise at this, but she quickly masked her shock. "So you went back to boys," she stated, smirking slightly at Piper. It wasn't really a question, but more of a observation of the obvious. She cocked her eyebrow slightly as the two of them continued to stare at each other in silence for a second longer before Alex turned her attention to the computer on the desk.

She then began to type away at the keyboard.

She was going to bring up some of the past weddings that Marco had done. She was immediately throwing herself into work. She didn't want to have to think about Piper and this so called fiancé of hers.

She knew it had been eight years since they'd ended things and so much had happened between then and now.

But she couldn't still help, but feel jealous in a way of this Larry Bloom guy. What kind of name was that anyways? She wondered suddenly how they met? What he did for a living? ect. However, she quickly shook these thoughts away. Telling herself she didn't care. That she didn't want to know.

She had long ago, stopped carrying for Piper. Or so she tried to convince her heart which was singing to a different tune.

Piper watched Alex intensely as she typed away at the computer keyboard. Her blue eyes studied the older woman's face. She was trying to make out what Alex was thinking at the moment, but Alex wasn't giving anything away. Her face was stone cold as she continued to advert her eyes away from Piper's.

Piper was suddenly curious as to why Alex was working at a photography studio. The last time she had seen her, she was a drug importer for a international drug carnal and was loving it. What had suddenly changed? she wondered. Had Alex Vause finally grown up? She tilted her head slightly to the side as she continue to study Alex. Eight years later, Alex still looked the same as she remembered. She had the same black framed glasses and porcelain white skin. The only thing that was missing was the blue ends from her long hair.

"So, where's Marco?" asked Piper, breaking the deadly silence in the room.

Alex looked briefly over at Piper at this before turning her attention back onto the computer screen. "Probably throwing up over a toilet bowl at the moment," she replied in all seriousness.

Piper was taken back by this answer. Her brows fussed together in puzzlement. She didn't know how to respond.

Another moment of silence fell over the two women before Alex turned the monitor of the screen towards Piper. "Here are some passed weddings Marco has done. Yours will probably look very similar to these ones...like the lay out and such," explained Alex as she scrolled down the screen, bringing picture after picture of happy couple up.

Piper's eyes drifted their attention onto the screen. She leaned forwarded slightly, resting her elbows on her knees as she placed her chin in her hands. She nodded her head slowly in understanding, "Mmhm."

She had seen these photos before. "So will Marco be taking the photos, or will you be?" She asked out of curiosity.

Alex looked over at Piper at this and smirked. "Why, do you want me at your wedding or something?" she asked, a smug look appearing on her face.

Piper narrowed her eyes at Alex at this, "Fuck you!"

Alex just merely chuckled at this. She was clearly amused by Piper's anger. "Don't worry, I won't be there. I'm not the photographer. Marco is. I'm just the assistant at the moment. I'll probably be here...running the place while you tie the knot to Mr. Prince Charming!"

Piper didn't say anything in reply to this. She just continued to look at Alex with hatred. She had forgotten how cocky the brunette could be at times.

Alex's smile continued to linger on her face for a moment longer before being replaced with a frown. She sighed slightly before looking away from the blonde seated across from her. She just wanted to get this appointment over with, so that she didn't have to see Piper Chapman, soon to be Piper Bloom any longer.

She then went on to explain how Piper's wedding would some what go regarding Marco. That he would probably snap some photos of her getting ready before she headed out to the ceremony. After the ceremony was over, he then would take the traditional photos with the wedding party and etc. Before taking more candid photos at the reception.

Piper only nodded her head and murmured okay, in understanding here and there. Neither women were looking at each other any more as Alex continued to scroll through the photos on the screen.

Both just wanted to get back to their lives and put this run-in behind them.

"Any questions?" asked Alex as she turned the computer screen away from Piper and looked over at her.

Piper turned and glanced once again over at the raven haired woman. A slight spark of electricity seemed to run between them at this. Gone was the anger and pissed off feelings from before and replaced with excitement and attraction.

They always seemed to have some sort of connection.

Piper was suddenly over come with nervousness as she continued to get lost in those green eyes. Alex always had beautiful eyes to her. "No questions," whispered Piper, suddenly breathless. Her heart seemed to be racing suddenly as Alex continued to stare back at her, intensely.

The older woman licked her lips slightly as she allowed for her gaze to linger for a moment longer on Piper's face. She could feel old feelings for this beautiful creature stir slightly within, but she quickly squished them away. She couldn't go there again, she thought to herself.

An awkward silence then fell over them again. Neither wanted to say goodbye it seemed.

"I will show you out," whispered Alex as she began to push back her chair and stood up.

"Have coffee with me!"

"What?!" asked Alex, staring down at Piper like she'd suddenly grown three heads.

"Have coffee with me," repeated Piper again as she rose to her feet. She was serious. She wanted for Alex to have coffee with her. She desperately wanted to catch up with woman before her. She suddenly needed to know what Alex had been up to for the last eight years.

Alex continued to gawk at Piper in surprise by her sudden request for a moment longer before closing her eyes briefly and letting out a deep breathe. "Okay," she replied as she reopened her eyes and once again peered into Piper's face. She didn't know why she was suddenly agreeing to have coffee with the blonde. She knew that nothing good would come out of it. But she couldn't fight the old feelings for her. She needed to know what had happened with Piper over the last eight years.

Piper's face broke out into a smile at this. She was relieved. She had thought for a second that Alex would turn her down. She then reached for her purse, "There's a Starbucks down the street!"

Alex returned the smile before nodding her head, following Piper out of the office. She knew this was a stupid thing and she would surely regret it later, but at the time, curiosity was getting the better of her.

* * *

The two women where silent as they walked the short distance from the photo studio to Starbucks.

"Grab a table," spoke Alex towards Piper as the two of them made their way into the coffee shop. "I'll get the drinks."

Piper turned around to face Alex at this. She opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off. "Alexx..."

"It's on me, Kid," interrupted Alex, a small smile appearing on her face as she continued to look on at the blonde.

Piper just stared back at Alex for a moment at this. A look of surprise was plastered on her face. Her heart seemed to skip a beat at hearing her old nickname on Alex's lips. "You don't have too," murmured Piper as she dropped her gaze and began to rummage through her purse for her wallet. Coffee had been her idea, she should be the one treating, not Alex.

As Piper pulled out her wallet she felt a sudden touch on her wrist. A physical shock spread through her body at this. Her skin felt like it was on fire from where Alex's hand still rested.

A course of electricity sparked between the two women as their eyes once again locked on one another.

Blue meeting Green.

Neither dared to move.

"Piper, it's okay. I want to," spoke Alex softly, breaking the sudden silence. The pad of her thumb ran softly against the inside of Piper's wrist for a second before pulling away. Alex continued to look at Piper, trying to read her thoughts before nervously adjusting her glasses and looking down at her feet. She was suddenly overcome with shyness, which was a very rare thing for her.

"Okay," whispered Piper as she shoved her wallet back into her purse and admitted defeat.

"You can get the second time," spoke Alex as she once again looked back up at Piper. The corners of her lips tugging up into a wide grin. Her shyness was gone and replaced with her usual confident self.

"Grande vanilla latte, right?" She asked, remembering Piper's drink choice.

The blonde just stared at Alex dumbfounded. She was taken back by not only Alex remembering her coffee order after eight years, but at the possibility of a second outing together. Piper opened and closed her mouth like a fish trying to find her voice. She then just nodded her head in agreement. She was at a lost for words.

The smirk on Alex's face just grew at this. She loved after eight years of being apart, she still had a power over Piper to make her speechless. She then turned on her heel and began to line up, leaving Piper standing by the door.

An awkward silence fell over the two of them as they quietly drank their coffees on a small black iron table just outside of Starbucks. Inside there had been no available tables and the day was too nice not to sit outside and enjoy it.

There was a million of questions that Piper wanted to ask Alex, but was too nervous to ask them. She still couldn't get over the feeling that Alex had agreed to get coffee with her and catch up like they were old friends and not exs.

Alex found herself looking anywhere and anything but Piper. She was overcome with nerves. Her legs were shaking nervously underneath the table as she blew cold air over the paper cup of her steamy Americano. She was still feeling a little hung over, but she tried not to think about it. She took a large gulp of coffee as she looked across the street to where an elderly woman was walking a small French poodle. Her eyes continued to follow them until they disappeared around the corner. She closed her eyes briefly as she took another sip from her cup before placing it down onto the surface of the table and looked over at Piper, who was staring deep into the contents of her own paper cup.

It was now or never she figured as she let out a sigh and broke the silence. "So..." she began, nervously adjusting her weight in her seat. "Tell me. What has Piper Chapman soon-to-be Piper Bloom been up to for the last eight years?"

Piper's head immediately snapped up at this and looked across at Alex. She nervously licked her lips as she continued to a peer at Alex for a second before speaking. That was a loaded question she didn't know how to answer. A lot had happened since Alex had last seen her. Piper had just been a kid back then. She had grown up since then, or she like to think she had. "What would you like to know?" she asked in reply, her eyes never leaving Alex's face as she took a small sip from her paper cup. The sweet creamy taste of the latte filling her mouth.

"I dunno," replied Alex with a shrug. She didn't have anything in mind really. She just wanted to know what Piper was doing with her life now. "What do you do for a living? Ever write that play you had plans on doing after graduating?"

A smile suddenly appeared on Piper's face at this. She had forgotten about her dreams of becoming a big playwright and making it big on Broadway. Her major at Smith had been in playwriting and had a minor in theatre production.

"No," laughed Piper, shaking her head. "Moving to the city was the closest thing I got to Broadway. I did direct a play once in a basement of a church in Brooklyn. But that's were the dream ended."

Piper shrugged her shoulder sadly at this. She'd long ago lost her passion to write and watch them come alive on the stage. After graduating from Smith, she had hitch-hiked across Europe with a friend for the summer before moving to New York with Polly. She had gotten a job waitressing at a small diner. She had gotten odd jobs here and there working on productions of off Broadways plays and such. But her dreams of writing a big-time hit show and producing it quickly faded away from her mind after two years of living in the city. Her parents had given her two years before coming down on her and telling her, she needed to get a proper job and grow up.

And she had.

She had gotten a job teaching English to new immigrants to the country. It wasn't her dream job, but she enjoyed it all the same. She had always loved teaching and spreading her love for learning. "I taught at a small second language school for a couple of years before going into the soap business with my friend, Polly."

"Soap business?" Alex cocked an eyebrow at this. She wasn't expecting that. Piper had always been someone who was going places. The blonde didn't seem like the Bath and Body business type.

"Yeah, about three years ago now me and Polly started a small business making our own soaps and such. It's all very organic and natural. We started making them in Polly's kitchen on a rainy Sunday and now we're sold in small specialities shops and soon to be Barney's!" Piper rambled on excitably to Alex. She knew that Alex probably thought it was lame to make soaps but she did really enjoy it. And she didn't make the soaps much. They had a small team of people who did that now in a warehouse space they were renting. Piper handled more of the business aspect of things now. "It's called Poppi!"

Alex just gawked at Piper for a second. She wasn't sure if she was being serious or not. "That...sounds..good!" she replied after a second. An awkward silence then fell over them as Alex nervously adjusted her glasses and took a sip of her coffee. "You always manage to land on your feet."

"I guess so," murmured back Piper in slight confusion. She couldn't tell if Alex was mocking her or not. She looked away from Alex briefly as she took a sip from her latte. She didn't know really where to go from here.

They were silent again before Piper spoke, "So, enough about me. What about you?"

Alex knew this question would be coming, but it still took her by surprise. She nervously adjusted her weight in her seat as she leaned slightly back in her chair. "What about me?" she asked in a quiet voice. She knew the question that Piper wanted to ask, but she wasn't going to say it. She wanted to hear it from Piper's mouth.

Piper chewed on her lower lip as her eyes searched Alex's face. "Are you still...in...the business?" she asked nervously twisting a strand of hair between her fingers.

Alex couldn't help but smirk at this.

Piper had always been nervous to say the name out loud. When her and Piper had just started to date, Alex has just been starting out as importer. She had started off as a mule for two years before proving she was worthy enough to move up in the business. Piper had always chosen to ignore what Alex did as a living. As long as she didn't have to be a part of it, Piper was okay with it.

"No," admitted Alex as she pushed her glasses up on top of her head, pushing her long black hair out of her face. "I got out of it a few years ago." She didn't mention that the only reason she gotten out of it was because she'd gotten caught.

"What made you get out? You always use to love what you did..." spoke Piper. She knew it was none of her business to ask what had made Alex get out of the drug business, but she was curious to know why. What had suddenly changed the older woman's mind? "Did your mom have anything to do with it?"

Alex frowned slightly at this. "You don't miss a beat, do you?" she asked, her eyes dark with annoyance. She held Piper gaze for a second before looking away. She had sudden tears in her eyes at the mention of her mom. However, she blinked them quickly away before looking back at Piper.

"I'm sorry," whispered Piper. "That was rude of me. As you can tell, I still suffer from that foot in mouth disease!"

Alex couldn't help but snort with laughter at this. There had been more then enough times over the three and half years they'd been together that Piper's mouth had gotten her into trouble.

Piper couldn't help but smile back at this.

The laughter died quickly though as Alex down casted her eyes back onto her coffee cup and another awkward silence fell over the table. She could feel a mix of emotions coursing through her body at this. It felt so natural sitting here, talking to Piper. A part of her wanted to tell her everything about her mom, about her arrest, about her time at Litchfield, but another part of her didn't. She had never fully gotten over how Piper had left her. Piper had broken her heart. And she still felt like she was picking up the pieces of it now.

Piper inhaled deeply as she continued to look on at Alex. She knew she'd hit a nerve with the dark haired woman. Alex had always had this rockabilly demeanour. But deep down inside she was fragile and vulnerable. Piper could still remember clearly when Alex had first shown her that side of hers.

_It had been the first week of classes for Piper. It was her senior year._

_Alex had left for a couple days to go see her mom in New Jersey. She hadn't been expecting her until a few days later. But there she stood, all 5 feet 10 inches of her, outside of Piper's apartment in the pouring rain._

_Piper was just coming home from working a double at the pub on campus she waitressed at._

_"What the fuck?" asked Piper as she closed her umbrella and approached Alex, who was soaking wet. "Alex, what are you doing?" she asked in confusion as she slid her key inside the door and opened it._

_Alex just murmured something in reply, but Piper couldn't make it out. Piper held open the door for Alex, allowing her to step inside the small foyer of the building before entering herself._

_Alex just ducked her head, avoiding Piper eyes as she stepped passed her. She had her arms wrapped around her body, trying to keep warm as a sudden shiver came over her. She stood there watching as Piper shook out her umbrella before putting it in the umbrella holder by the door. The building had use to be an old house before someone had converted it into apartments. There were three floors. Piper occupied the third floor with Nicky._

_"Why didn't you use your key or use to the intercom, and get Nicky to let you in?" asked Piper as she brushed her wet hair out of her face and continued to look on at her girlfriend with concern. She knew something was wrong. She just couldn't figure out what._

_"I forgot my keys and...no one answered when I called your room..." Alex's raspy voice trailed off as she looked away from Piper and down at her feet. She had come straight from the airport. She had left most of her stuff back at her mom's place. She had only been there for two days,but it had been too overwhelming for her to see her mom like that. A sudden urge had come over her to see Piper. And like that, she had just gotten up and left._

_Piper's blue eyes continued to stare intensely at Alex for a moment longer before leading her up the stairs. "Come on...lets get you out of those wet clothes," she whispered tenderly like you would to a scared child._

"How is your mother?" asked Piper in a quiet voice. There was a genuine interest in her voice.

"She's good," replied Alex, a small smile appearing on her face. "She's been in remission for two years now."

"Wow, that's good to hear," replied Piper, a smile appearing on her face. The last time she had seen Alex's mom, she wasn't doing so well. "I think about her every October for Breast Cancer awareness month. I even ran in her name last year in The End Cancer Marathon." Piper didn't want to brag, she just wanted to let Alex know that she still thought about her.

Alex looked surprised to hear this, but she was also touched by it. Her mother had always been fond of Piper. She would like to think that Suzy Vause would be happy to hear that Piper still had respect for her to run in her honour.

"She'll be happy to hear that," whispered Alex in reply.

The two women continued to stare on at one another like this for a moment longer before the loud sound of Piper's phone interrupted them. Piper immediately tore her eyes away from Alex and reached for her phone in her purse. A frown spread across her face as she read the incoming text message.

"Something wrong?" asked Alex, noticing the sudden distress look on Piper's face.

"No, no, it's nothing," replied Piper as she looked up from the screen and smiled a tight smile at Alex. "It's just...something has come up with the business that needs my attention," she whispered as she typed away on her phone.

"Oh," whispered Alex, trying to mask her disappointment. She didn't want Piper to leave just yet.

"I'm sorry to leave like this," spoke Piper as she shoved her phone back into her purse and looked over at Alex. She didn't want to leave either. She let out a deep breathe as she reached for her latte and drained the remainder of it. She was stalling for time and she knew it. An idea then flashed in her mind. She knew it was going to be a stretch, but it was only thing she could think of to get to see Alex again.

"I know this might seem out of the blue...but tomorrow is my bachelorette party and I would love if you came along," she then reached again for something in her purse. A moment later she withdrew a lilac business card and handed it over to Alex. "It has my cell number on it. Text me and I will give you the directions."

Alex looked puzzled as she took the card from Piper. She stared down at it for a second before glancing back up at Piper like she had suddenly grown three heads. Did she really want her to come to her bachelorette party?

"Piper..." she began to speak but was cut off.

"Bring Nicky with you," spoke Piper as she suddenly rose to her feet and smiled at Alex. "It'll be like old times." And with that Piper was walking away from the table and down the street.

Alex watched her go before staring down at the card. She didn't know what had just happened or what to make of all of it?


	4. two lesbians and a male stripper

Friday, June 14th- 7:42 pm

Alex stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her dark hair was done up in her signature pinup hairstyle. Her make-up consisted of the usual of heavy winged eyeliner and a bright red lip.

She looked good, she thought to herself. But that still didn't help take her nerves away.

"I can't believe you talked me into going to this thing," called out Nicky from the bedroom.

Alex couldn't believe it either.

The moment after Piper had left her at Starbuck with the invitation lingering in the air, Alex had made her mind up that she wouldn't go. It would be stupid for her to attend Piper's bachelorette party. She was her fucking ex-girlfriend for God's sake. However, the more she allowed herself to think about Piper and their little conversation over coffee,and talking to her mom over the phone. She'd realized that life was short and she wanted to see Piper again. Even if it meant an awkward night out. She had spent four years of her life locked up. She was finally ready to live her life again.

Alex Vause was always one to walk on the wild side and here she was doing just that.

"I can't believe it either," spoke Alex as she appeared suddenly in the bedroom.

After texting Piper's number for the location, she had phoned up Nicky asking her to come with her. The blonde had been a little sceptical at first, but with some arm twisting, had agreed to tag along and keep her company.

Nicky looked up from where she was seated on the edge of Alex's bed and over at her. A sly smile slowly appeared on her face as she took in Alex from head to toe. "Damn, Vause!" she whistled.

"What?" asked Alex. "Too much?!"

Her green eyes piercing over at Nicky before looking down at her outfit, which consist of a deep v-neck black satin halter top and her favourite pair of black skin tight jeans.

It was her usual going out outfit.

All black.

"Piper is going to be leaving that fiancé of hers in no time after seeing you tonight," replied Nicky as she once again allowed her eyes to linger over Alex's body.

Alex frowned at this. Yes, she wanted to look good tonight. But she didn't want to be some home wrecker or anything. "That's not what I had in mind," spoke Alex coldly towards Nicky as she crossed her arms self-consciously over her ample cleavage that Nicky was gawking at.

Nicky finally looked up at her face at this. "Sure it's not, Vause," replied Nicky, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Yes, she was once the love of my life. But that was years ago Nicky. We've both moved on. She's _fucking_ getting married in a week!" cried out Alex, defending herself.

Nicky just rolled her yes and smirked in reply. "First off, you so haven't moved on. And second, why the fuck are you going to her bachelorette party then if it's not to win her over?"

Alex just glared at Nicky for a second, "I just want to be her friend, again." Her voice was quiet but still firm.

If Prison had taught her anything was that she didn't want to have regrets in life. You only really lived once. And this was her second chance. Maybe she wouldn't win the girl this time. But after seeing Piper the other day, she realized she couldn't go back to pretending that she hadn't. If she couldn't have Piper as her girlfriend, which she wasn't sure if she wanted again. She would at least have Piper as a friend. She'd so very few nowadays since getting out of Litchfield. She was desperate for any ones she could find. Even if that meant having one in a ex-girlfriend.

Nicky couldn't help but laugh at this. "Vause, you and Piper _were_ never friends! You were on the moment you fucking saw her!"

They hadn't been friends.

From the moment that Alex had met Piper that night at a house party, she knew she had to have her.

It was on from the moment she'd said, _Hey_.

"You fucking stole her from me," continued on Nicky as Alex turned her back to her and began to put her jewellery on.

"I did not fucking steal Piper from you!" cried out as she glanced over her shoulder at her friend.

"You knew that I fucking liked her!" replied back Nicky. "And she would've been mine that night if you hadn't put your fucking _Alex_ charm on her!"

Alex couldn't help but laugh at this. They've had this argument a number of times over the years. Nicky had a crush on Piper, but Alex had only known it was some blonde chick from her class. She hadn't known that it was Piper until after the fact. "Didn't you leave with another girl that night?" asked Alex, who was now fully facing Nicky and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Yeahh," replied Nicky, smugly as she recalled that night. "She was an animal in the sack."

Alex couldn't help but laugh at this. Nicky back then had a short attention span when it came to women. She could easily get over one quickly before moving onto another in a blink. Her crush on Piper had been no different.

"Come on, let's go see that _friend_ of yours," cooed Nicky as she stood up from the bed and adjusted the black leather mini skirt she was wearing.

Alex just rolled her eyes at the use of the word, _friend_. She then reached for her bag that was resting on the dresser.

"Do you think there will be strippers?" asked Nicky as the two women then began to make their way out of the bedroom and towards the door.

"Not the kind that you and I like," comment Alex, a smirk playing on her face.

"Two lesbians and a male stripper..." began Nicky in a singsong voice.

"God that sounds like the start of a bad joke," sighed Alex as she held open the door for Nicky.

"Oh, I have a great joke! Mommy taught me it. You will love it. It's hilarious!" cried Nicky as she stepped passed Alex and into the hallway. As Alex closed the door to her apartment and began to lock it, Nicky began to tell her the joke, "So a penguin and a farmer walk into a bar. They sit next to a drunk guy and an unconscious bargoer..."

_The music blared loudly from the sound system, making the entire house vibrate as Piper pushed her way through the crowd of college students and followed Nicky to the kitchen._

_The two of them had just arrived at the party and were on the immediate search for drinks._

_It was just the beginning of the semester and this was one of the first parties that Piper was attending since arriving back at Smith for her second year. Her and Nicky had met the year previously in a film class but this was the first time the two of them had ever really hung out outside of class. It also just happened that the two of them were dorm mates for the year._

_"So who owns this place?" asked Piper over the music._

_"A friend of a friend," cried back Nicky, a smile appearing on her face._

_"And it's their party?" asked Piper._

_"Yes, and this is the kitchen," replied back Nicky, mockingly gesturing around the room."And this is booze!" She then reached for a red cup resting on the kitchen island and handed it over to Piper. "Blondie, you ask way too many questions. What do you like think they're going to test you or something?" There was a look of amusement playing on her face._

_Piper just pursed her lips at this. "No," she stated. "I was just curious, that's all." She replied as she took the cup from Nicky and took a sip from it. She made a face as the bitterness of whatever was in the cup hit the back of her throat. "What the hell is this stuff?"_

_"Enough questions!" cried out Nicky, shaking her head slightly. "Just drink!" She then tapped her own cup against Piper's and brought it to her lips. Her hazel eyes bore into Piper's as she continued to stand there looking into the contents of her cup. Nicky was only pretending to be annoyed by Piper's content questioning of everything. She secretly found it adorable that Piper needed to know everything. She had a small crush on the blonde. And would try as best as she could to get into her pants by the end of semester. She assumed that Piper was straight,but knew with some time and effort, she would have the blonde marching to a different beat._

_Straight girls were always a challenge._

_But Nicky Nichols never shied away from one._

_A smile appeared suddenly on Piper's face. Making her whole face glow. The two women continued to stare at one another for a moment longer before Piper brought the cup up to her mouth and titled her head back, chugging the remainder of the mystery drink down._

_"Wow! Chapman, I'm impressed," commented Nicky as Piper slammed the plastic red cup onto the counter._

_A cocky smile appeared on Piper's face at this. "Fill me up, Nichols!" she spoke, a suddenly confidence coming over her._

_"Yes, ma'am," spoke Nicky, smiling at Piper before reaching for one of the many bottle of liquor on the counter and proceeding to fill Piper's glass up. As she did so, she wonder how many more of theses Piper would need in her system before she could make her move. She figured it wouldn't be that many more as she watched Piper through the corner of her eye. The blonde had her eyes closed and was swaying slightly. But noticing she was being watched, Piper suddenly opened her eyes and smiled a small smile at Nicky before taking her now full cup._

_"Here you go blondie," spoke Nicky, handing her over the cup. Nicky playfully winked at her before taking a sip from her own glass and motioning for Piper to follow her out of the kitchen and once again into the heartbeat of the party._

* * *

Piper let out a sigh as she gave herself a once over in the full length mirror by the front door. She was on her way out and headed towards her bachelorette party. However, it didn't feel like she was going to her own party, but on a first date.

Nerves where fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

She knew they had to do with a certain raven haired beauty that was coming tonight.

When she had invited Alex, it had been on a whim. She hadn't thought that Alex would take her up on the offer. It had sounded crazy to her the moment the words had left her mouth. But it had been the only thing she could think of at the time for her to be able to see Alex again.

But then like faith acting in a weird way, Alex had suddenly texted her, asking for directions to the club where the party was at.

A frown appeared on Piper's face as she took in the sight of her hair that hung limp around her face. She had tried to curl it like her hairdresser, Sophia had done that one time to it, but she couldn't recreate the look. The curls had only lasted an hour or so in Piper's short straight hair before falling. The ends were still slightly wavy, giving her more of a bed head, beach hair look than sexy Victoria's Secret curls, she'd been hoping for. She ran her hands through her hair, trying to give it some volume. After a moment of being unsuccessful, she sighed and dropped her hands to her side. Other than her hair, Piper was happy with what she was wearing.

She had gone out shopping just the other day for the occasion. It was a sexy off the shoulder mini cocktail dress in white satin. Polly had told her since she was the bride, she should wear white. Everyone else had been told to wear black. Piper had also paired the dress with silver sling-backs. She was pleased with the outfit. It was sexy but not too much. She was hoping to make an impression tonight. As she continued to stand there, gawking at her appearance, Larry appeared suddenly, poking his head out of the kitchen.

"You still haven't left?" he asked in amusement. "You know if you don't leave soon... you'll be late for your own bachelorette party?"

Piper looked up and met his eye in the mirror.

"I am going now. Just putting the finishing touches of my lipstick on," she replied with a smile. She felt guilty suddenly as she continued to look at him, but she squished those feelings quickly away. She'd nothing to be guilty about. Yes, she hadn't told Larry about Alex. But he didn't need to know about her. Alex was just...an old friend. right?

"God, I must be crazy," whispered Larry suddenly as he began to enclose the space between them.

"Why?" asked Piper, cocking an eyebrow as she turned around to face him.

"Because I'm letting you go out... dressed like that," he murmured in a low seductive voice.

Piper opened her mouth to say something in return but before she could, Larry had his hands on her waist, crashing his mouth to hers.

Piper had no other choice, but to kiss him back. Her arms automatically wrapped themselves around his neck and melted into his body. Her lips pressing back on his. The kiss lasted for a moment or two longer before Piper broke it.

"Larry, I got to go," she whispered as she brushed back her hair and looked into his eyes. She smiled at him before reaching for her silver clutch bag which was resting on the dresser. "I love you and will see you tomorrow!"

She was suppose to be spending the night at Polly's after the party. The club was nearer to her townhouse. So it only made sense for Piper to stay there instead of taking a cab half way across the city to get back here.

He smiled back at her in reply, "I love you too, Pipes." He then leaned forward for another kiss but Piper turned her head, so that he got her cheek instead of her lips. She then smiled again before turning and opening the front door.

She waved goodbye before quickly leaving the apartment.

* * *

The club was busy by the time that they arrived there, around eleven. Before going there, they'd all met up at a bar for cheap drinks. Polly had been less then thrilled to see Alex and Nicky, but had kept her thoughts to herself.

Piper knew she owed her best friend an explanation, but she didn't really have one to give. She was still trying to figure out one for herself. However, she didn't allow herself to think about it too much as the group of them pushed their way through the crowds of people and to the private VIP booth they had booked. Their group consisted of 10 people. All were mutual friends of Piper and Polly.

And then there was Alex and Nicky.

Both women were thankful for the numerous of beers consumed at the bar previously. They were nicely buzzed now as they made up the rear of the group and smuggled themselves up on the leather sofa of the VIP longue.

However, Alex still continued fight the feeling of being an outsider. She didn't belong here and she knew it as conversation of the wedding continued to buzz around her. She would had been more happy staying at the bar then proceeding on to the club with the rest of them. But something inside of her kept on telling her to stick out her discomfort.

That it would be all worth it in the end.

Alex wasn't sure what that really meant and she didn't really allow herself to think about it further as someone handed her a glass of champagne suddenly. Her eyes flickered towards Piper, who was seated right across from her.

"Thanks," she murmured to the blonde, a small smile appearing on her face before she lifted up the glass and drained it in one sitting.

Piper held Alex's gaze for a moment longer, she too was smiling. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could she was being interrupted by one of her friends.

Alex watched as Piper bent her head and listened closely to whatever the other woman was telling her. She then watched as Piper tilted her head back and exposed her neck to her. Her laughter suddenly ringing in Alex's ears. A sudden chill ran down her back at this, but she ignored it. She then glanced over at Nicky, who was seated beside her.

Nicky smiled, holding up the champagne bottle, offering to fill up her empty glass.

Alex nodded her head in reply.

Neither spoke a word as Nicky poured the remainder of the bottle into Alex's glass. The two then touched glasses, silently cheering before empty them again.

The VIP longue was located away from the dance floor in a more secluded area of the club. However, the music was still pounding loudly around them. Alex scratched the side of her nose as she allowed for her eyes to drift around the booth before focusing on Piper again. Alex's heart seemed to skip a beat at realizing that Piper was staring straight back at her. Her blue eyes staring intensely into her. She immediately sucked in a breathe as she sat up in her seat and continued to look at Piper.

The two women stayed like this for a second before Alex smiled slightly and mouthed "Hi!"

Piper's face immediately broke out into a grin at this. "Hi!" she mouthed back to Alex. The butterflies returning once again in her stomach. She desperately wanted to say something to her, but before she could, they were interrupted.

This time it was by a tall male figure, who had just appeared at their table. The booth had curtains drawn around it, giving it a tent like feel to it. Everyone immediately stopped talking at this and looked towards this sudden figure who stood in the entrance of the longue.

"Excuse me, ladies," spoke the man in a deep voice. "But is there a Piper Chapman here?" He asked, his brown eyes searching around the table, a chisel smile appearing on his face.

Nicky immediately groaned at this. She knew what this meant. She then nudged Alex, who too wasn't looking too pleased to see this guy. They both knew that the party was just to get a little more awkward. The two friends exchanged knowing looks with one another before looking back on at Piper, who was being told to stand up.

Piper didn't look to pleased, thought Alex as she watched as the blonde adjusted her dress down her legs and said something to the man.

Piper, who had been seated two people into the booth was now forced to sit on the outside. Everyone, except for Nicky and Alex hooted and hollered with excitement as Piper was made the centre of attention.

Due to the dark lighting of the club, no one could see the redness of her cheeks. Piper had told Polly, she didn't want strippers.

Polly had told her that there would be none. However, she'd clearly lied.

Piper groaned silently to herself as she took a seat yet again and dared to look up at the man, who had just introduced himself as Mike, a few moments ago. As he continued to loom over her, smiling, she couldn't help but think that he was kinda cute in a Zac Efron way. But that still didn't take the dread she was feeling, away. She smiled shyly up at Mike as he slowly began to move his hips to the beat of the music that vibrated through out the club.

* * *

_Alex took one last drag from her cigarette before dropping it to the ground and extinguishing it with the toe of her boot. She then headed back inside to the party. She couldn't believe the turn out of the house party. But again, her boss had connections. And when promised free booze...college students will come._

_But Alex wasn't here to get drunk. She was here for work. She'd just been promoted to importer for an international drug cartel, and was here looking for possible mules. Most of the college students at the party were from Smith. Which was filled with rich, privileged girls waiting to rebel and had enough stamps in their passport to avoid suspicion._

_The perfect mule._

_Alex nodded her head at few familiar faces as she made her way back into the house and into the living room. She grabbed a beer from the open cooler in the kitchen as she went. Twisting off the cap, she drank greedily from the bottle as her eyes searched around the room._

_The entire room was vibrating to the music. Furniture had been pushed to the sides to make room for dancing. There was a swarm of sweaty undergraduates bumping and grinding together. The room smelt of feet, beer and weed. Alex didn't want to have to think about the how much it would cost to have the place cleaned after tonight. And luckily she didn't have to. It wasn't her house and wasn't her party. That was the upperhand's problem, not hers. She was just here to find new hires. She had already successfully found three that night. But wanted a fourth._

_She liked even numbers._

_Alex continued to stand there on the sidelines, nodding her head to the beat of the music for a few moments longer before her eyes fell onto what would hopefully be her newest mule._

_She found herself licking her lips as she watched as the blonde threw her wavy long hair over her shoulder and moved her hips to the music. Despite the girl being dressed a little like Laura Ingalls Wilder, she was hot. Her eyes continued to linger over the girl's body. She was wearing a mini jean skirt that sat low on her hips and an off the shoulder floral blouse of sorts. The blouse was cropped and showed off an inch of flesh of her torso. Alex found herself wondering if her skin would be as soft as it looked..._

_She immediately then drained the remainder of the beer before discarding the bottle onto the near by coffee table, making her way over to this mystery girl, she suddenly needed to know._

_"Hey you!" cried Alex over the music._

_Piper turned immediately at this and over to Alex. She continued to sway to the music as her blue eyes peered into Alex._

_"Sorry?" she asked towards this woman. She didn't know if she was talking to her or not._

_Alex couldn't help but smirk at this. "I said, Hey you!" she repeated as she took a step closer to Piper, who was still dancing._

_Piper nervously smiled at Alex, tucking her long hair behind her ears. "Hey," she whispered back. She didn't know who this woman was, but was suddenly interested to find out._

_The two of them continued to look at each other. Piper didn't know how to describe what she was feeling, but she felt an attraction of sorts towards this dark haired beauty. It was like nothing she had felt before. Especially with another girl._

_"I'm Piper," she spoke, introducing herself._

_Alex's green eyes gleamed at this, making her smile even wider. "I'm Alex," she replied in a raspy voice._

_Piper felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach as Alex continued to look at her like that. She then suddenly felt Alex's hands on her waist and was pulling her slightly in to her. Piper's blue eyes widened in surprise at this. The smile withering from her face._

_"Don't worry, I don't bite," whispered Alex into her ear, feeling the waves of tension coming off of Piper._

_Piper let out a nervous giggle before nodding her head and locking eyes with Alex again._

_Alex gave her a reassuring smile back before beginning to move her hips with Piper's._

Alex continued to sit there in discomfort watching as this Mike The Stripper thrust his hips into Piper's lap. His shirt was open, showing off his sweaty muscular torso. She pursed her lips as Mike leaned forward and planted a kiss on the side of Piper's neck. He was too close for Alex's liking.

She had always had trouble sharing Piper with others. And this time seemed to be no different. She hated how this guy was acting around Piper. And she could tell by the look on the blonde's face, she wasn't enjoying it either. She let out a deep breath before suddenly rising to her feet. She knew she wouldn't be able to sit through this strip routine much longer before punching the guy in the face.

However, she couldn't afford to get into a fight. It was too much of a risk. She couldn't afford to go back to prison.

No one paid any attention to her sudden departure from booth except for Nicky.

Alex grabbed her immediately by the wrist and pulled her to her feet. She was taking her with her.

"Where the fuck are we going, Vause?" asked Nicky as they made their way out of the VIP area and headed towards the dance floor.

Alex didn't say anything as she continued to lead Nicky through the swarm of people and onto the middle of the dance floor. She then dropped Nicky's hand and threw her arms above her head as she titled her head back and closed her eyes. Her hips immediately beginning to sway to the music.

Nicky just stood there for a moment before following suite.

The two friends began to get lost in the throbbing of the music and the dancing bodies around them.

Piper cheeks were flushed with embarrassment as Mike continued to grind his body into hers. He was now fully undressed except for a g-strip. She defiantly didn't have enough alcohol in her system for this. She liked dick but not like this.

She was both a fan of hot men and hot women.

But strippers weren't her thing.

She put up with it all the same, though. She knew her friends were enjoying it. Well most of them. She knew that Alex and Nicky had already left. She hoped though that they hadn't gone off to far. The two of them, especially Alex had been a good sport about everything so far.

Piper smiled and tried not to look to disguised as Mike suddenly turned around and bent over, giving her a good view of his bare ass before proceeding to shake it.

God, she prayed it would end soon.

And it did.

As soon as it started, it ended. Mike gathered his clothes and left quickly after his performance and getting paid.

As her friends began to talk excitably over one another, someone opened another bottle of champagne and handed a glass to Piper. She drank from it greedily, draining the glass in one sitting. She proceeded to have two more before standing up.

She felt like dancing.

She pulled Polly up and dragged her away with her.

A couple of others followed too.

As Piper danced her way through the crowd of people and onto the middle of the dance floor, her heart skipped a beat as she took in the sight of Alex and Nicky. A wide grin appeared on her face at this. She was suddenly overcome with joy at laying her eyes on Alex. She had thought she had left for sure. She was happy that she was wrong. She didn't think twice in her drunken state as she licked her lips and immediately began to dance up close to Alex's back side.

Alex didn't notice her right away.

Piper ran her eyes over Alex's back down to her ass and back up. She liked what she saw. Alex had always had the perfect body. Despite it being eight years, Alex still had the body of a 24 year old. She grinded her body up against hers before tapping Alex on the shoulder. She wanted her to turn around.

She could feel Polly's eyes on her, but she didn't care if what she was doing at the moment was wrong. She just wanted to feel Alex's eyes on her. To feel her body press up against hers. Even if it was for a short while.

She wanted to dance with her.

Alex immediately glanced her shoulder at this. She had an eyebrow cocked, thinking that Piper was a stranger. But a smile quickly broke out onto her face as she locked eyes with Piper.

"Hey you," spoke Piper over the music.

"Hey!" replied back Alex, leaning slightly over and whispering into Piper's ear. Her breathe tickling the side of Piper's neck.

Piper blushed slightly at this. She was suddenly bashful as Alex continued to gaze down on her.

This just made Alex smirk even more.

* * *

The music pounded around them as they continued to dance. Their bodies pressed up together in the sea of people dancing around them.

But despite the sweaty dancing bodies that enveloped them, all they could see was each other. Neither knew how to describe it. But they didn't need an explanation either. It had always been like this for them.

They had a connection that ran deep.

They were inevitable to each other.

No matter how much they tried to fight it. They were pulled back together like a magnetic charge.

Their eyes bore into each other as their bodies slowly began to move as one on the dance the floor. Their hips grinded into one another as they moved to the beat of the music.

Piper had her arms raised high above her head. Her blue eyes gleaming with desire as she continued to get lost in Alex's green orbs. She could feel herself becoming aroused as Alex continued to press into her. Her arms were out to the side, but every now and them they would come and wrap themselves around Piper's waist. Her fingers softly brushing up against her sides.

From a far, it would just look like two friend innocently dancing together. But to anyone else, who knew them, it was far from innocent.

Alex licked her lips as she continued to allow the music take over her. She'd never felt so alive then she did at this moment as she continue to sway her hips. She desperately wanted to kiss Piper, but didn't want to scare her away. It was still her fucking bachelorette party. And they were both a little tipsy. She didn't want it to be a drunken mistake. If it was going to happen, she wanted it to be a sober decision.

Time seemed to stand still for them.

Neither knew how long they had been dancing in the middle of the floor. A minute? An hour? Three? They weren't sure. But it didn't seem to matter.

They continued to dance.

Their hot and sweaty bodies shimmying against another. Their hearts racing with excitement as they continued to get lost in each other's eyes.

Piper chewed on her bottom lip as she continued to scan Alex's face. She couldn't believe how close they where at the moment. After years apart, they where suddenly pressed together. Flesh touching flesh.

She didn't know if it was the pounding of techno-beats from the music or the alcohol coursing though her vein or the beautiful green eyes pouring into her, or a mixture of the three ,but she was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling for more. Dancing was fun but she wanted more of Alex. She wanted to feel her hands on her waist, roaming down her back side to her ass. She wanted to feel those lush red lips on hers, sucking all the air from her lungs.

She wanted to melt into Alex.

As her eyes continued to search Alex's face, she found she couldn't take it any longer.

She needed to kiss her.

Piper found her hands immediately going to Alex's face. They cupped the sides of her cheeks, pulling her close to her.

Alex cocked an eyebrow at this. Her green eyes filling with confusion as Piper stopped dancing and stared at her for a second.

"I am fucking going to kiss you!" whispered Piper in seriousness before crashing her mouth passionately against Alex's.

Alex stood there on the spot, frozen for a second before she found herself kissing Piper back.

Both were tired of fighting these feelings coursing through their bodies and gave into temptation.


	5. what are you doing tonight

Saturday, June 15th- 2:58 am

Alex leaned back against the brick wall as she removed a cigarette from the pack with her mouth. Her lips staining the filter end briefly with red lipstick. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breathe as she brought her Zippo up to the end of the cigarette and lit it.

The cigarette lit quickly as she inhaled the smoke into her mouth. She held it there for a second, allowing for it to cool a bit, pushing the smoke into her lungs.

She opened her eyes briefly as she lifted her hand and placed the cigarette between pointer and middle finger, removing it from her lips. She kept it at mouth level as she blew the smoke out through her lips, creating rings in the air. A satisfying sigh escaped along with it as she closed her eyes again and flicked the end of cigarette over the coffee mug she used as an ashtray. She was seated on the fire escaped of her apartment, looking down onto the quiet street below.

She then once again brought the cigarette up to her lips and took another drag from it.

Starting the process all over again.

She'd kicked the habit of smoking long ago. But it was times like these she reached for the beloved nicotine again. She was a stress smoker. Just like her mom was or had been until the cancer.

It was the wee hours of the morning now. There was a slight chill to the air as she continued to sit there in just a tank top and pyjama bottoms, but the coldness of the night was refreshing against her skin, she found.

She was wide awake.

As Alex exhaled the smoke, her thoughts drifted to the kiss. That sweet kiss. It hadn't been as long as she would have liked but it was still something she wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. Her red lips were still swollen like a bee had stung them. Her cheeks still burned from where Piper's hands had been, pulling her close.

It had been a fucking good kiss, she thought to herself as she flicked the end of the cigarette into the mug before once again bringing it to her lips.

* * *

"I can't believe you!" cried out Polly for the hundredth time to Piper.

Piper just shrugged her shoulders as her friend continued to lecture her. She didn't know what to say to Polly either. She still couldn't believe either what she had done.

"Aghh, next time I see her, I am going to give her a piece of mind for real!" continued on Polly as she slumped herself into the empty seat of the plush leather couch next to Piper. They were back at Polly's apartment. They had left the club about a half an hour ago. Polly had dragged Piper off of the dance floor and into a cab in the matter of minutes after seeing Piper making out with Alex.

"It wasn't Alex's fault," murmured back Piper in a quiet voice. Polly had accused Alex of taking advantage of Piper in her drunken state on the dance floor. Piper tried to explain that it had been her to initiate the kiss not Alex, but like always, Polly wouldn't listen.

"I know she's a sexy lesbian and once the love of your life, blah, blah, blah..." continued on Polly, who was talking animatedly with her hands. "But you've to stay fucking away from Supercunt! Pipes! You're fucking getting married in a week! You can't be going around kisses your exes!"

Again, Piper didn't say anything at this. She knew that Polly was right. But at the same time, Polly didn't understand her feelings for Alex. She didn't even understand them herself. Alex always felt so inevitable to her. And on the dance floor, she had felt the same pull towards her, as she had all those years ago, when she had first met her. There was just something about Alex Vause that Piper couldn't seem to shake.

"Now, I know getting married is scary. Trust me I've been there. Cold feet and shit!" continued to rant Polly.

Piper just smiled weakly at her friend at this. Yes, getting married was scary. That she would be closing the door to singlehood and starting a new chapter in her life. That she would be settling down with one person the rest of her life. But she didn't think it was cold feet or was it? Was she just making up all these feelings and such in her head as an excuse to mask what she was really thinking? That she was just having cold feet and getting her last bit of fun in before it was too late?

"But hooking up with an ex isn't the answer, Pipes. You have to remember that you love Larry and Larry loves you!" Polly placed a hand on Piper's arm. Her brown eyes staring intensely at her. "Don't let Supercunt mess it up! And don't worry I won't tell Pete what happened. It will be our little secret!"

Piper just stared at Polly for a moment. She didn't know what to say. Yes, she loved Larry. He was great guy. Any women would be lucky to have him as a husband.

But deep down inside, she knew she loved Alex too. She just couldn't tell Polly this.

"Thanks," she murmured, giving Polly a small smile. Piper brushed her hair out of her face as she turned her attention away from Polly and onto the glass coffee table in front of her.

Polly continued to look at her for a moment before rising to her feet. "I don't know about you, but I am fucking starving! I'm going to order a pizza!" Her thoughts of Alex and Piper suddenly from her mind as her stomach let out a loud growl.

Piper couldn't help but look amused at this as she lifted her eyes back onto Polly's face. "Polly it's kinda late. I think all the pizza places are closed," she tried explained.

Polly just shook her head at Piper, "Piper, honey. This is New York City! We're known for our pizza. And there is sure to be _fucking_ one open and I will find it!" She then began to walk out of the room, leaving Piper sitting on the couch, pondering her thoughts.

A sigh escaped Piper's lips as she kicked off her heels and slumped herself back against the pillows of the couch. She closed her eyes and allowed for her thoughts to drift towards the kiss. Alex had been right there. Her face inches from her own. Those green-blue eyes staring straight through her and into her soul. Those lush red lips smiling at her. Screaming to be kissed...

After eight years, she could say that Alex still tasted the same, felt the same against her. Kissing her had felt like tasting your favourite candy from your childhood. That beloved feeling of familiarity washing over you. It was new in away ,though. Feeling the softness of a woman's lips again against hers. To not feel the roughness of whiskers against her chin or the dryness of lips that Larry always had.

Kissing, Alex Vause had been like rediscovery something Piper had along ago buried within herself. Something she hadn't allowed herself to think about in a long time. She had shut off though feeling, cold turkey, eight years ago when she told Alex, she had enough. But as she continued to sit there, thinking of the other's woman mouth against her own, that feeling of familiarity came washing over her.

_"I like you Kid," whispered Alex as she smiled down at Piper._

_It had been a few days since Piper had met Alex at the party. But already, she found herself falling for this mysterious woman. Who had turned out to be the famous Alex Vause that Nicky always talked about. The two of them had known each other for two years. Piper, who after founding out had felt a little jealously towards Nicky. She could sense that the two had a special relationship that she wanted to be apart of. She too wanted to have inside jokes and share little looks with Alex that Nicky did with her._

_After dancing with Alex for seemed like forever, the two of them had went into the kitchen where they had run into Nicky._

_And now, the three were inseparable._

_Alex had hung around the rest of the weekend with Nicky and Piper. But the fun was coming to an end. It was Sunday night and Alex was suppose to be heading out the next morning for her job._

_Piper was curious to know what Alex did for a living; she was only 23 and had her own penthouse apartment and got to travel the world. Alex had joked with her on the first night when she asked that she worked for an international drug cartel. But hadn't mentioned anything else since._

_The two of them where walking around the campus, taking a mid-night walk. This was the first time really, since the dance floor that they'd been alone with each other. Piper was a bundle of nerves as Alex stopped walking suddenly and turned to face her._

_"I like you," whispered Alex again, leaning in closer to Piper. She hadn't made a move really on the blonde. She knew that she was straight and didn't want to scare her away. However, she couldn't hid her feeling any longer. She wanted to be honest with Piper. She hoped, that Piper shared her affection. With having Nicky hanging around most of the weekend with them, it had been hard to tell what Piper was thinking, but now it was just the two of them._

_Her green eyes bored into Piper's face, looking for an answer._

_Piper found herself sucking in a breathe at this. Her blue eyes were wide and Bambi like as she peered back at Alex. A warmth then filled her stomach and spread through her like a wild fire at hearing this. A small smile appearing on her face. "I like you too," she whispered, her cheeks flushing with sudden embarrassment. Piper couldn't help but feel like she was fourteen again and telling Mitchell Andrews she liked him._

_A wide grin appeared on Alex's face at this. "You're so fucking cute," she replied in her raspy voice._

_Piper just blushed deeper at this. Her eyes never withering from Alex's face. Time seemed to stand still as her heart began to race with anticipation of what was to come next._

_Alex placed a hand on Piper's waist as her other cupped the side of her face. The pads of her fingers gently caressing her cheek. Their faces were just inches away from each other by this point. Alex's eyes were deep with desire as they continued to pierce into Piper's blue ones. "I'm going to fucking kiss you," she whispered in a low voice before pressing her mouth to Piper before she could protest._

_Piper just stood there for a good moment, allowing the sensation of Alex's touch to run through her before she began to kiss her slowly back._

_The kiss was slow and tender at first as their mouths adjusted to one another. Gently pressing against each other before parting and meeting again._

_However, it didn't take long before the kiss was deepened._

_Alex had her hand holding Piper firmly in place, pulling her close to her as her other traveled down the side of her neck, making it's way to her back. Alex teasingly ran the tip of her tongue along Piper's bottom lip before sucking on it roughly._

_Piper moaned slightly in response at this. She'd never thought a woman's lips would taste or feel as good as Alex's did at the moment. She had once kissed Polly for a full minute on a dare in high school. But that was nothing to compared to what Alex lips where doing to her now. Her arms immediately wrapped around the taller woman's neck as she stood on her tip toes. Her lips parting immediately open for Alex's tongue._

_Their tongue soon met in passion, intertwining together like snakes._

* * *

"How was it?" called out Larry as Piper closed the front door behind her and entered the apartment. It was much later on in the day now. After Polly had ordered Pizza and the two of them had wolfed it down, Piper had passed out on her couch. She had gotten a good four hours of sleep.

Piper couldn't help but feel like she had just done the walk of shame as she came into the living room and gave a weak smile at Larry, who was seated on the couch watching TV. Her head was pounding from the alcohol she had consumed the night before. She'd taken a shower at Polly's before leaving but she still felt dirty as she stood there in the same dress she'd been wearing last night.

"It was good!" she stated in a tired voice.

She could sense that Larry wanted more from her as he continued to look up at her, but she didn't have the energy at the moment. She just wanted to have a long soak in the tub and maybe a little nap too. It was only 11 AM but it felt more like 11 PM.

She was defiantly not twenty anymore.

"Well, I'm going to go have a bath," she stated after a moment of silence had passed. She didn't wait for Larry to speak as she bent down and took off her heels before making her way out of the room and towards the bathroom. She discarded her purse and heels in the hallway as she made her way into the small bathroom.

She didn't bother to flick on the lights as the morning sun was bright as it casted in from the window. She let out a sigh as she moved like a zombie towards the tub. A second later, the room filled with the sound of running water. She closed her eyes briefly as her temple throbbed with pain. She defiantly needed to lay off alcohol for the rest of the week, she thought to herself.

Piper stood there in the middle of the bathroom, listening to the water run for a second before reaching behind her back for the zipper of her dress.

"Let me help you," spoke Larry as he suddenly came into the bathroom . His hands immediately covering over Piper's.

Piper glanced suddenly over her shoulder at him. She was taken by surprise by his touch.

Their eyes locked with one another for a moment. Larry gave her a small smile before leaning forward and tenderly kissing the side of her neck. His fingers beginning to caress the backs of Piper's hands.

Piper stood frozen for a second allowing for his touch to take over before pushing him away. "Larry," she stated with slight irritation as she turned to face him.

There was sadden look plastered on his face at this. "I know, I know," he spoke in reply. "But I miss you Pipes. I can't help myself...I jerked off several times last night thinking about you in that damn dress." He shrugged his shoulders as a smile appeared on his face.

"I know but you only have to wait a week longer," she whispered in a tender voice.

"Oh, how I can't fucking wait!" he spoke.

Six months ago, they'd agreed not to sleep together until their wedding night. They wanted it to be special.

Larry made a move to kiss her again but Piper took a step back, shaking her head.

"Morning breath," she whispered, lying. She hadn't brushed her teeth since yesterday, but that wasn't the reason she didn't want him to kiss her. Alex had been the last person she'd kissed and she wanted it to stay like that for a little longer.

Larry just looked at her for a second longer before smiling again at her. "Okay," he whispered. "But you owe me!"

Piper smiled weakly at him, nodding her head in reply before motioning him to get out of the bathroom.

* * *

Alex was seated at her kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee when her phone went loudly off in her purse. She was immediately alert at this as she listened as the phone rang for a second time. Her heart suddenly began to race as she quickly rose to her feet and made her way to where her purse lay on the couch. She'd left it there last night.

She didn't know how to describe what she was feeling at the moment, but she hoped that who was calling was a certain blonde. She hadn't seen or talked to Piper since she had been pulled off the dance floor by Polly, after the kiss. There was so many questions and things she wanted to know. They'd both been drunk last night, but she remembered every detail of the kiss clearly. It hadn't just been some wet drunken kiss but so much more.

And she knew Piper had felt it too. She'd been the one to fucking kiss her.

"Hello?" cried Alex into her phone as she pressed it to her ear. She found herself holding her breath as she waited for the person on the other end to speak.

"Yo, Vause! What's up?" cried Nicky on the other end.

Alex let out a deep breath at this. Disappointment filling her suddenly. "Hey," she replied back, trying to mask it though. She didn't need Nicky up her ass at the moment. She had already gotten teased by her enough as they left the club.

"What? you're not happy to hear my voice," mocked Nicky on the line. Alex could practically see her smirking into the phone. "Did you think I was Piper?"

Alex didn't say anything at this as she made her way back to the table. She hated how she was feeling at the moment. That she was once again waiting up for Piper to call her. That after years of seeing other people, one little kiss from Piper could turn it all around. Bringing back all these feelings she had longed ago buried.

Nicky just laughed into the phone before speaking, "Well, don't spend the whole day waiting for her to call. It was only a fucking kiss."

Alex bit the inside of her mouth at this. She hated that Nicky was right. That it had just been a fucking kiss. Nothing more.

"But look that's not why I am calling," continued on Nicky."You remember Big Boo?"

"Hell Yeah!" cried out Alex, her spirits suddenly lifting. Big Boo had been a mutual friend of both Nicky and Alex. Nicky and Big Boo had met in boarding school when they were 16 and had kept in touch over the years.

"Well she's back in town," continued to explain Nicky. "And a couple of the old crew is getting together. You in?"

"Fuck, I'm in!" replied Alex into the phone. Her thoughts of Piper quickly faded away to the back of her mind at the possibility of tonight. It had seemed so long since she had chilled with a good group of friends. Most of her old friends she'd either lost touch with or where in the drug business still...a world she avoided nowadays. After getting out of Litchfield she'd cut off most of her old friends. Isolating her self and trying to regain control of her life. Nicky and Big Boo she'd seen briefly after getting out. But Nicky was a successful director/ co-owner of an small independent film company and divided her time between New York City and LA. Big Boo like the rest of them was a recovering addict. She had been in and out of rehab multiple times over the years.

"Good to hear! Big Boo will love to see ya! She just came back from India. She was on some yoga retreat for six months with Jones!" explained Nicky.

"Seriously?! I can not for the life of me see Big Boo doing yoga," laughed Alex into the phone. Big Boo as long as she'd known her had been on the bigger side.

"Yeah, seriously! She looks good now too," replied Nicky." She doesn't have the yoga body that Jones does but she posted pictures on Facebook. She slimed down since you've seen her. "

"Wow," whispered Alex in amazement. A lot had seemed to change since she'd been gone. "So other then you, me and Big Boo...who else is coming?" Alex leaned back in her seat as she put Nicky on speaker phone. She then once again reached for her coffee and drank it.

"Well, Lorna will be there too. Yoga Jones is coming. And Mercy with her new girlfriend!"

"No shit, Mercy is coming!?" cried out Alex once again in disbelief. Mercy had been one of her mules. They had been named by the same person and ended up at Litchfield together. Mercy sentence had been shorter than Alex's. She had only been there for 18 months. However, the two had ended up having a brief fling together at Litchfield.

"Yeah, Big Boo invited her," said Nicky.

"But I thought they hated each other?" asked Alex in confusion. Big Boo and Mercy had dated for two solid years before Mercy had ended it. But things between them were never really over. The two always seemed to get back together, only to break up again. In some ways, they seemed like her and Piper.

"They're passed that," replied Nicky."Or so Big Boo says. I think she just wants to fucking size up the competition with Mercy's new plaything, Tricia."

Alex couldn't help but laugh at this. "Just like old times," she whispered. "I wondered what she would have done if she knew me and Mercy hooked up in Litchfield."

"Oh, she probably would have stabbed you with a screwdriver for sure," laughed Nicky, "But she is passed that now. That's what the yoga is for. To use all the anger she is feeling and use it in a positive way...by physical activity or some bullshit like that."

Alex just laughed in reply to this.

"Oh! And another thing...what are you doing tomorrow morning?"

"Nothing. Why?" asked Alex as she drained the remainder of her coffee.

"Mommy wants to have you over for brunch," stated Nicky.

"Oh right! Sunday Brunch at Red's," replied Alex.

Back in the day, Nicky, Piper and Alex would go over to Red's every Sunday for Brunch. Nicky had met Red her first day at Smith. Red had run the dorm kitchen and had soon built a relationship with the young Nicky. Red had become Nicky's mother when her biological one had stopped caring. There had been one time when Nicky had snuck into the kitchen after hours. She had been stoned out of her mind and needed food. Red had caught the girl, but hadn't reported her. Instead, she had helped her and tried to get her clean. But Nicky had relapsed.

It wasn't until Nicky had almost overdosed and needed to have open-heart surgery after an infection had spread, that she finally stopped using. Especially after Red had walked out on her like her own mother had.

But they soon rebuilt their relationship after that.

"Yeah, I'll pick you up and we can drive down together. Red is living out in the middle of nowhere now with her lover, Miss. Claudette."

"She has a lover?!"

"No...well she says they aren't lovers. But I think she is full of bullshit." Nicky's laughter rang suddenly out from the phone and around Alex's apartment. "But you're in right?"

"Yeah, sure," replied Alex agreeing to come to brunch. She had always liked Red. She could be intimidating at first but was really a nice lady once you got passed the rough exterior of the Russian.

The two women continued to talk for a moment longer. Nicky told her the details of where they were meeting later on that night. "Okay, see ya then," spoke Alex as she lifted up the phone and took Nicky off speaker. She was about to hang up when Nicky interrupted her.

" Oh and one more thing Vause," spoke Nicky into the phone.

"Yeah?"

"Invite Chapman tonight!"

And with that Nicky hung up before Alex could say anything in reply.

* * *

"Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself?" asked Larry.

"For fuck's sake! Yes. Larry. I'll be fine!" cried Piper in amusement towards her fiancé. "I'm a big girl!"

"I know," he stated, a smile appearing on his face. " I just hate leaving you like this."

"Larry, it's just an headache. I'm not dying or anything," explained Piper as she lifted her head slightly off of the pillow of the bed and over at Larry. Her head was still throbbing with pain. She had spent a good portion of the day sleeping in bed. She was still recovery from last night it seemed.

Larry frowned at this but didn't push Piper. He was suppose to be leaving town for two days and headed to Toronto to do an interview for the New York Times. He almost hadn't taken the job since it was so close to the wedding but Piper had convinced him to do it. That it could be his big break.

He would be back on Tuesday.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he continued to peer over the end of the bed and over at Piper with concern.

"Yes, for the fucking tenth time. Go Larry! I will be fine," she cried, trying to keep her frustration at bay. His constant hovering was just making her headache worse.

"Ok. Ok. I'm going," he stated as he came around the side of the bed and kissed her.

Piper hesitated as she felt his lips press against hers, but she'd no real choice but to kiss him back. Luckily the kiss was short and sweet.

"I love you Pipes," he whispered as he caressed the side of her face and touched his forehead to hers.

"I love you," whispered back Piper, forcing a smile on her face. They stayed like this for a second longer before Larry pulled away.

Piper leaned her head back against the pillows, watching as he picked up his suitcase and left the room. She stayed like this until she heard the front door open and close behind him. She sighed as a mix of emotions suddenly came over her.

She was still thinking about Alex and the kiss.

She continued to lay there, allowing for her thoughts to take over her for a minute before her phone beeped suddenly on the nightstand, indicating she had a text.

She slowly reached over and grasped the BlackBerry. She took her time to open the message, thinking it was just Larry, telling her he missed her already or Polly with another detail about the wedding. However it was neither of them. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at the screen in disbelief.

Alex- **Hey**

Piper immediately sat up in bed at this. Her headache seemed to be suddenly gone as she continued to stare at the one word written on the screen. She chewed on her bottom lip, suddenly nervous. She debated whether if she should reply or not. Polly's words echoed in her heads suddenly, _But hooking up with an ex isn't the answer, Pipes. You have to remember that you love Larry and Larry loves you! Don't let Supercunt mess it up!_

She did love Larry.

But she hadn't talked to Alex since that kiss. She still owed Alex an explanation. It had been her to kiss her first.

"Screw it," she whispered to herself as she pressed the reply button and began to type away.

Piper- **Hey**

Alex- **How's it going?**

Piper- **Other than having a massive headache, I'm good.**

Piper- **You?**

Alex- **Sorry to hear about the headache. Too much fun last night? ;-P**

Piper frowned slightly at this. She didn't know what Alex was suggesting. Was this her way of bringing up their steamy kiss on the dance floor? Or was she applying that Piper had indeed drank too much last night and took advantage of her? As Piper continued to debate on how to answer another text came through.

Alex- **It sucks getting old doesn't it? Can no longer party like we use too? I practically had to scrap myself off of the floor this morning.**

Piper- **Hahaha You sound old!**

Piper figured if Alex wanted to flirt, she could too. Flirting was harmless, right? Larry and Polly were far from her mind now as she sat there clenching her phone in anticipation of the next text.

Alex- *** rolls eyes**

Piper couldn't help but grin at this. She could practically see Alex doing just that- rolling her eyes. Piper had always joked about the 4 year age difference between them. Alex had always seemed more mature and worldly then she was.

Alex- **Can I ask you something?**

Piper frowned at this. She didn't like the sound of this. What did Alex want to ask her? However, she was curious all the same.

Piper- **Yeah. Sure. Shoot.**

A good minute or two passed before the next text came in.

Alex- **What are you doing tonight?**

* * *

Alex didn't see her at first. The bar was pretty crowded for it was Saturday night.

However, it didn't take her too long to spot the blonde from across the room. No matter where they were, she always seemed to have the power to locate her. It was that magnetic pull again at work.

Everyone else was there. They'd all arrived at the same time, getting a booth at the back of the bar. Piper was the last to arrive.

"Damn is that Chapman?!" cried out Big Boo suddenly as Piper located their table and began to make her way towards them. "She grew up good!"

Alex just shot Big Boo a look at this. Big Boo had never found Piper attractive or so she always told Alex. She said she was hot but wasn't her type.

Big Boo, looked over at Alex at this and just smirked. "What?" she asked innocently before punching Alex playfully in the arm. "Don't worry, I won't steal her from you! Chapman's off limits!" She then held her hands in mock surround before letting out a booming laugh.

Alex couldn't help but smile in reply at this. She'd long ago told Big Boo that Piper was off limits- that she was her girl. A sudden feeling of sadness washed over her at this thought as she turned her attention back onto Piper, who was now only a few feet away from the semi-circle booth they where all piled into. Piper was no longer her girl, she thought. She was off limits to her too.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," stated Piper as she approached the table.

"No need to apologize Chapman," stated Nicky as she smirked at Piper. "It's good to see ya again."

Piper nodded her head in agreement at this. Her eyes were focused sonly on Nicky. She could feel Alex staring at her, but she didn't dare to look in her direction, just not yet that was.

 


	6. i can only think about you

Saturday, June 15th- 8:22 pm

"So Everyone this is Chapman or Piper as some call her," explained Nicky's booming voice over the music of the bar. "Chapman this is everyone, Lorna- my other half." Nicky gestured to the petite dark haired, red lip woman her arm was wrapped tightly around.

Piper locked eyes with the woman and smiled, nodding her head in greetings. Lorna gave a small wave back.

"You know Alex of course," continued on Nicky, smiling slyly at her. "Then you have Big Boo or Carrie, my old friend from school. You've met her before."

Piper looked over at Alex briefly before looking over at Big Boo.

"Oh yeah, me and blondie go way back," cried Big Boo, winking playfully at Piper. Big Boo was referring to the time that she'd been staying over at Nicky's and Piper's apartment they'd rented out the last two years at Smith. Piper had just met Nicky's old school friend the night before and when she had gotten up to pee had walked in on Big Boo in the shower.

"And then we have Yoga Jones," continued Nicky, pointing to the watery eye woman beside Big Boo.

"Hi there," spoke Yoga Jones in a calming low voice. She smiled a gentle smile towards Piper.

Piper returned the smile, nodding her head in greeting.

Nicky then introduced the last two people at the table, Tricia and Mercy. Piper had never seen or met the last three women. She nodded her head in greeting.

An awkward silence then fell over the group as Piper continued to stand at the front of the table. She suddenly felt shy and didn't know where to sit.

"Chapman, come on in. Take a seat," suggested Nicky as she and Lorna stood up and made room for Piper on the booth.

Piper nervously smiled as she looked on at Nicky and Lorna. Nicky just looked smugly back at her. She scratched the back of her neck, dropping her gaze suddenly before looking up again. Her blue eyes immediately locked with Alex's. Her heart seemed to skip a beat a this.

She felt like a nervous love-sick teenager.

Alex stared back at Piper, her green eyes piercing into the younger woman.

"Hey," she spoke.

"Hey," replied back Piper as she continued to stand there, gawking at Alex. A moment or two passed before someone at the table coughed loudly, breaking their stare down. Both women turned their attention away from each other at this and over to the cougher.

Big Boo just grinned widely back at them. "Sorry...dry throat..." she explained making a gesturing motion to her throat. A amused look was plastered on her face as she continued to look between Alex and Piper. The sexual tension between them could be cut with a knife. Big Boo could sense there was something going on between the two former lovers. Her dyke radar was on and beeping loudly.

Alex just glared at her friend.

Piper dropped her gaze once again before quickly sliding into the booth before anyone else could draw attention to her and Alex. She felt Alex's eyes on her once again as she took the seat beside her. Piper slowly turned her head and once again met the older woman's eyes. She tried not to smile but despite her best efforts the corner of her lips tugged upwards into a grin. Her face radiating in joy. She was trying to keep her cool but was finding it hard.

She couldn't help but feel like she was 19 again and falling deep in love with Alex Vause.

Alex, too found herself smiling back.

The moment lasted for a second longer before Nicky interrupted them, "So Lorna, this is my old, college buddy, Piper. And Piper this is my girlfriend, Lorna!"

Nicky, who was seated at the end of the booth had her arm wrapped around Lorna's shoulder, her other free hand gestured between the two women who where seated beside one another.

Piper immediately turned her attention to her right and looked over at the small woman seated there. "Hi!" she greeted her kindly, sticking out her hand to shake.

Lorna's red lips smiled up at Piper as she took her hand and shook it. "Hi," she squeaked back to Piper.

"Wow, I got to say," began to speak Piper as she looked passed Lorna and over at Nicky. "It's so weird to hear you say girlfriend. " For all the time that Nicky and Piper had been friends, Nicky had never had a serious girlfriend. She had more flings. The longest relationship that Piper had known Nicky to have had been a week or so.

Nicky let out a horsed chuckle at this. She tightened her grip on Lorna's shoulder as she continued to look over at Piper.

"How long have you guys been together?" asked Piper. This was the first time she felt like she was really talking to Nicky since seeing her three days ago. At her bachelorette party she had talked to Nicky briefly but they hadn't gotten into any personal details, really.

"18 months!" Both Lorna and Nicky answered at the same time. The couple shared a look of devotion with each other before smiling back at Piper.

"Nicky was doing auditions for a play she was co-producing and I auditioned," rambled on Lorna rapidly as she began to explain how they had met.

"Oh... here we go," sighed Nicky playfully as she rolled her eyes. "Lorna loves to tell how we met."

Lorna just hit her softly in the chest, giving Nicky a look before turning back to the others. "So there I was, standing on the stage. I had just finished reading my part and Nicky, asked if I could sing? Well, I didn't know this was a singing role and I can't sing for shit."

"I just wanted her to stay a little bit longer," admitted Nicky with a shrugged of her shoulders. "What can I say...I liked what I saw!" This earned an eye roll from Lorna.

"Hey, but she went along with it. And began to sing a very off- key version of Tonight from West Side Story," Nicky couldn't help but laugh as she remember that day in the cramped theatre.

Lorna hit Nicky again at this but couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face.

Piper watched this exchange between the couple. She couldn't help but smile to herself. They really did seem happy, she thought to herself. Her blue eyes continued to gaze at them for a second longer before she felt Alex's knee brush up against her own. Her body turned immediately at this and over at Alex.

Alex gave her apologetic smile as she nervously adjusted her glasses.

Piper found herself returning the smile. Her heart beat once again picking up as she continued to get lost in those green blue eyes.

"What can I get you blondie?" asked the waitress as she appeared at the table, once again drawing Piper's attention away from Alex.

Piper blinked her eyes rapidly at this, her cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment, "Um, a beer?!" she replied. Her request came out more like a question. She was feeling suddenly flabbergasted.

"What kind?" asked the waitress, tapping her pen impatiently against the coil of her notepad.

"Surprise me?" replied Piper, giving the waitress a bright smile. She hated how Alex was making her flustered. One look into those eyes and her whole thought process seemed to go out the window.

"What no margarita?" teased Alex, a smirk playing on her face.

Piper just blushed at this, "No," she replied. "Maybe later!"

"So, how do you know Nicky and the rest of them?" asked Lorna, once again drawing Piper into conversation. The waitress had just left with Piper's drink order. Everyone else had been served before Piper had arrived.

"Um, Nicky and I went to Smith together and I know Boo and...Alex...through her," answered Piper, slowly trying to find her voice. She didn't want to bring up that her and Alex had been girlfriends. She didn't want to bring up the mess of the past. Nicky could give her all the details later if she wanted them. However, Piper's answer seemed to satisfy Lorna, who nodded her head in understanding before leaning over the table and complimenting, the woman that Piper had been introduced to as Yoga Jones.

Piper was finally glad that the conversation was off of her. She closed her eyes briefly as she leaned back against the seat and let out a deep breath. She was trying to calm the racing of her heart. Nerves where coursing through her veins. She didn't know how this evening would turn out. She was eager to talk to Alex and explain everything to her and apologize for throwing her self at her last night. However, she didn't want everyone at the table to hear her.

Just then the waitress arrived back with her beer.

"Thanks," whispered Piper towards the waitress as she reached out for the cold bottle and quickly brought it to her lips. Despite all her had drank last night, she was grateful for the alcoholic beverage as it filled the back of her throat.

She would be needing it, she thought.

* * *

The music blared from the jukebox of the bar.

The conversation buzzed in and out of Piper's ear. She was trying to pay attention to Lorna's story but she found her attention withering. Her eyes kept on shifting over to Alex.

The two of them had ended up sitting right next to each other in the semi-circle booth. No, thanks to Nicky who had practically thrown the two together since Piper had arrived. Piper had been at the bar for over three hours now but was still nursing her second beer. She was tipsy but not drunk. So she knew that the thoughts of this woman running through her mind weren't drunken ones but sober ones.

And she knew that Alex was feeling it too. Piper kept on feeling Alex's hand brush up against her arm as she adjusted her fallen bra strap or her knee would brush up against hers underneath the table. They were innocent little touches but were enough to drive Piper wild with desire.

She could yet again feel those old feeling rising in her stomach. She chewed harshly on her bottom lip as she locked eyes with Alex briefly. A spark of electricity running through her as those green eyes pierced into her.

Alex cocked an eyebrow as a sly smile appeared on her face. She knew what Piper was thinking. She was thinking the same thing too. She then once again touched the inside of Piper's knee from underneath the table as she tore her eyes suddenly away from her and took a long drag from her beer bottle.

Lorna was still chatting away to the others. They all seemed to be blinded to the sexual tension between the two of them. Or if they weren't they hadn't said anything yet.

But Alex knew that it wouldn't last long. That someone would bring it up. She could sense that Nicky was holding herself back. Every time the two women met each other eyes, Nicky would smirk at Alex. That knowing grin plastered on her face. Alex was trying to compose herself, but was finding it difficult not to touch Piper. Especially when she was seated so close to her.

It didn't help matters that they were surrounded by couples. Nicky and Lorna were seated next to Piper on her right. On Alex's other side, was Big Boo and Jones, who seemed to be having an affair of some sort. Alex didn't know quite what to make of it. And then making up the other end of the booth was Mercy and her very young girlfriend, Tricia. Tricia was some nineteen year old with a weird neck tattoo. Mercy had explained to Alex how the two of them had met a couple of months ago at an AA meeting. Mercy, who had been clean since getting out of Litchfield had helped the younger woman, who had only recently gotten clean.

"So what's your story?" asked Tricia suddenly as she ran her hand down the side of Mercy's arm. "Are you guys a couple?" The younger woman looked between Piper and Alex.

Piper had just been introduced as an old friend but it didn't take a genius to figure out that she was much more than that to Alex. Piper let out a nervous laugh at this. She could feel the redness creeping into her cheeks as all attention was on her and Alex now.

Alex just glared at the younger woman, her body stiffening slightly. She didn't know who this kid was but she didn't like her. This wasn't the first time in the night that Tricia had rubbed Alex the wrong way. Tricia had made it perfectly clear to Alex, that Mercy was her girl. Alex had just rolled her eyes at Tricia as she lay claim on Mercy. She could careless about who Mercy was fucking now.

"They WERE a couple," interrupted Big Boo suddenly as she looked over at Piper and Alex and winked. Big Boo was a little drunk now as she wrapped an arm around Jones and continued to smirk. "But see, Chapman broke it off, abandoning Vause when her mom was dying of cancer and she went off to Europe...She got to live the lap of luxury while Vause rotted in prison."

"Damn, that's cold!" replied Tricia as she looked over at Piper. "Just abandoning your girl like that! I've heard there is some hot chicks in Europe but still...damn!" The much younger woman shook her head in disbelief at this.

Piper opened and closed her mouth at this. She was taken back by the sudden change in conversation. She knew that it was just drunken talk. That Big Boo was _way_ past sober and Tricia, despite her being underage had been able to get into the bar and have her fair share of drinks that evening. But it still didn't take the pain away that was suddenly stabbing her in the heart. She had her reasons for leaving Alex like she had. But it had not been like Big Boo had described. That she had just gotten up and left Alex for a European trip. Piper didn't dare to look at Alex as she felt a sudden wave of anger wash over her. She could feel the back of her eyes sting with tears but she didn't dare to let them fall. Piper had always regret how she had broken it off with Alex all those years ago.

But she had panicked.

This was the first time she was hearing that Alex had gone to Prison, too. She'd told Alex that her work would catch up to her eventually but she never thought it would really come true. She stared at Alex, her mouth gasping open in shock. She didn't know how to process all this new information. She tried to say something but again nothing came out. Piper tried to compose herself but was finding it hard. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, waiting for her to say something. She heard Alex say something, but her voice was drowned out by the thoughts swirling loudly in her head. She stood up suddenly, murmuring something about needing the bathroom.

Noticing the upset look on her face, Nicky quickly got up and pulled Lorna with her, allowing for Piper to get out.

No one said a word as the blonde bolted from the table.

"For fuck's sake!" cried out Alex as she watched as Piper disappeared from sight before turning her attention to her left. Her green eyes blazed with anger. "You couldn't just keep your fucking mouth shut for once!" She spat, her voice dripping with rage at Big Boo.

Yes, Piper had abandoned her and had broken her heart. And she was still not fully recovered from it. She was tore between loving Piper again or to continue hating her. However, that was her decision to make, not Big Boo's. She wasn't allowed to judge Piper, in Alex's opinion.

Boo just shrugged her shoulders apologetically at Alex. The bigger woman was out of words for once. No one wanted to be on the other end of Alex Vause's raft.

Alex just glared at Big Boo for a moment longer before getting out of the booth herself. She wanted to go after Piper. She didn't want to lose her again. They seemed to come so far in the last couple of days.

She didn't want Piper to back away now.

_Carol Chapman let out a deep sigh as she looked across at her daughter._

_A feeling of dread washed over Piper at this. She had seen that look before on her mother's face. It had been a permit feature in her childhood. That look of disappointment and judgement all rolled up into one._

_"Piper, dear," her mother spoke in a calm, cool voice._

_"Mom, please," Piper cried, cutting her mother off. She didn't want to hear the lecture. "I don't want to hear it."_

_"Piper, it's for your own good," began to speak Carol, ignoring her daughter. "You need to end this relationship with this Alex girl. She isn't good for you. She isn't...one of us."_

_Piper frowned at this. She knew what her mother meant by Alex not being one of us. Us, meaning a WASP. Not being from money. Not being one of the families that had arrived on the Mayflower._

_"Mom!" cried out Piper again but was cut off._

_"Piper," whispered Carol, her voice was harsh but still low. She had long ago mastered the skill of not rising her voice but still getting her point across. "Alex will understand. We had a talk last night after you went off to bed. She understands that this is just a faze in your life."_

_"You talked to her?!" asked Piper, her voice suddenly rising as she glared at her mother. Piper had brought Alex home with her for Thanksgiving. The two had been dating for over a year now. Piper, who had met Alex's mom that summer had thought it would only be fair that she introduce her to her parents. Piper knew her parents, especially her mother, would be less then thrilled that she had a girlfriend but she thought she would at least accept Alex._

_"It's not a crime to talk Piper," began to speak Carol again. "Me and Alex just sat down over tea and had a pleasant conversation about your future. She understands that you two aren't cut from the same cloth. And this...lesbian thing is just a faze."_

_"It's not some fucking faze, Mom! I love her!" cried out Piper in outrage. She couldn't believe her mother had said all that to Alex. That she thought what they had together was some faze she was going through. It wasn't. Yes, Alex was her first girlfriend. But she was also the love of her life._

_Carol Chapman just let out a deep sigh at this as she continued to look on at her daughter with disappointment. "You're too young to know what love is."_

_"I'm twenty! I'm not some fifteen year old any more, Mom. I know what love is. And it's what we have together! Alex loves me and I love her!" argued back Piper._

_"You say that now Piper but is she really who you want to spend the rest of your life with?" asked Carol as she continued to look on at Piper. The two woman continued to stare at one another, neither saying a word. "Alex seems exciting now with her bohemian lifestyle but in another year or two, is that what you want? You're twenty now Piper...an adult in most sense. You need to start thinking about the future. Don't you want to have a family one day? Get married? How can you do all that with a woman?"_

_Piper just glared at her mother. She was too shocked to say anything as she continued to stand there in the living room of her mother's house. It was early in the morning and thankfully Alex wasn't up yet. They were suppose to be leaving today and heading over to her father's house before heading back to Smith later on that night. She murmured something about going to check to see if Alex was up before storming out of the room._

_She hoped whatever damage her mother had done with her little 'talk' with Alex would be fixable._

_She couldn't afford to lose her._

_She loved her._

* * *

Alex pushed opened the grimy bathroom door of the bar and took a small step inside.

Her eyes piercing into the blonde figure hunched over the sink, splashing water on her face. She frowned slightly as she continued to watch as Piper turned off the faucet and slowly straightened her back. She hadn't noticed Alex yet. Piper was too lost in her own world.

Alex leaned slightly against the bathroom wall, folding her arms over her chest as Piper turned her back towards her and began to dry her hands underneath the drier. The room filled with the loud blowing of air for a moment before stopping suddenly.

"Alex," whispered out Piper in surprise as she noticed Alex standing there for the first time. Her eyes pierced intensely into Alex's. She suddenly bit down on her lower lip as she dried her hands roughly on her jeans.

Alex didn't say anything as she began to enclose the space between the two of them.

Piper found herself holding her breath as Alex came closer and closer until she was just a foot or so away. Their eyes continued to bore into one another. The tension between them was thick. It was not only sexual tension but tension of miss commutation , of frustration, of heart break, of leaving things unresolved over the years.

It all came crashing down over their heads at this very moment.

Alex's face was blank of emotion as she continued to look on at Piper. Piper couldn't tell what she was thinking and it was driving her crazy. She wanted Alex to do something. Either yell at her, tease her or kiss. She just wanted the older woman to say something.

However, Alex remained silent.

Piper let out a deep breath before talking. She figured if Alex wasn't going to say anything that at least she should. It was the least she could do. She still owed Alex an explanation of the kiss. "Look... Alex. I'm sorry."

Alex cocked an eyebrow at this.

"I'm sorry that I threw myself at you last night like I did. I was drunk. But that's not why I kissed you...I'm still kinda trying to figure that one out. I can't help but feel like I'm 19 again when I'm around you. Seeing you again has brought back all those old feelings that I thought long ago had gone away...And now I don't know what to do about them...The last few days have been amazing," Piper continued to ramble on. "But we can't keep on doing this. We both have separate lives now. I'm FUCKING getting married in a week. In seven fucking days I will be Mrs. Larry fucking Bloom!"

Piper was thinking more out loud now as she continued to ramble. Her voice was high pitched and squeaky like it always was when she was nervous and panicking.

"And I should be thinking about that. But you know what? I can only think about you. Since I ran into you on Wednesday. I can only think about you. And since yesterday, I can only feel your lips on mine. You, Alex are once again in my fucking head!" Her voice raised slightly, ringing off the bathroom walls. She hadn't meant to scream but she couldn't help it. She was frustrated at the mess that had come to be her life all the sudden. She had been happy a week ago to be marrying Larry. She had been looking forward to finally ending one chapter in her life and starting a new one with the man she loved.

But now, after everything that had happened. She couldn't help but second guess everything. Not only with her marriage, but what she was doing with her life. After seeing the success that Nicky had become. It made her yearn for that long forgotten dream to be a play write again. To write that Tony Award winning play she had told Alex she was going to make.

Alex just continued to glare at Piper, who had suddenly stopped talking.

A million thoughts raced through her head at what Piper had just said. She felt the same way. She couldn't get Piper out of her head, either. "I didn't fucking plan this!" she whispered in reply. "I didn't fucking plan to run into you the other day. I didn't fucking plan to spend the last three days with you! You fucking kissed me Piper! You fucking asked me to your bachelorette party! I didn't want this fucking either ! I was perfectly fine until I saw you again. But now...I can only think about you," Her voice was low now as she took a small step towards Piper. The anger and frustration she'd been feeling a moment ago was gone and replaced with lust, yearning and wanting.

Alex licked her lips slowly as she reached for her glasses and pushed them up on top of her head.

"I thought about that kiss too all last night and today...how fucking good your lips felt against mine...how I wished it had lead to more..." Her voice was filled with seduction as she continued to walk towards Piper, backing her up against the wall. Their faces were inches a part as they continued to lock eyes.

"It's mine turn to fucking kiss you now," whispered Alex as she smirked at Piper, before crashing her mouth against hers.

Alex kissed her with such raw passionate that it took Piper by surprise for a second. She found herself standing there limp as Alex's tongue pushed it's way into her mouth. But she soon returned the affection.

Alex felt Piper's hands on to her waist as her own clench the back of Piper's head. Their kisses were hot and wet. It was all fire and passion between the two of them as Alex continued to press Piper's body up against the wall. They were deeply lip locked as Alex ran her hands down Piper's sides and began to undo the button of her jeans. She wanted her. Then and now.

In that moment it was just the two of them.

They were lost to the world as they continued to touch, grope and explore each other's bodies. They both weren't thinking of anything as they allowed the other touch to take over.

They broke apart briefly as Alex pulled Piper into the near by bathroom stall and locked the door behind them.

_"Are you mad?" asked Piper towards Alex as she took a seat on the edge of the bed._

_"Yes," whispered Alex as she looked over at Piper as she continued to lie in bed._

_This was the first time the two of them were seeing each other since last night. They'd been forced to sleep in separate rooms to Carol Chapman's request. She wouldn't have their bohemian lifestyle underneath her roof._

_Piper locked eyes with Alex at this. There was a look of fear edged on the younger woman's face._

_"But not at you," continued on Alex, a small smile appearing on her face as she reached out and touched Piper's hand. " At your fucking mother." She didn't blame Piper for what her mother had said to her. Before this weekend, Piper had explained how much of a yappy, WASP Carol Chapman was._

_Piper couldn't help but smile in relief at this._

_Alex looked on at Piper with devotion in her eyes as she pulled on her hand,, gesturing for her to come down._

_Piper laid down beside Alex and allowed for her to pull her to her chest. Neither spoke a word as they cuddled on the bed._

_"I told her that I love you. That it isn't some stupid faze...she thinks I am going through," whispered Piper and she turned slightly so that she could see Alex's face. She knew that Alex had said she didn't blame her. But she still wanted to make it clear, whatever her mother had said to Alex last night had been all Carol Chapman. Not Piper._

_"I know kid," whispered Alex in reply. She knew that Piper loved her. Alex had had her fair share of relationships but Piper was different. She completed her in away. She had never felt like this before. "I love you too."_

_Alex then reached out and cupped the side of Piper's face before pulling her close to her and capturing her lips in a tender kiss._

_Neither knew what the future held for them but at the moment, it didn't matter. They had each other now and that was enough._

Alex smiled seductively at Piper before once again crashing her mouth against hers. Piper immediately wrapped her arms around Alex's neck as her mouth opened in response to hers.

Their tongues once again wrapped themselves together with passion.

The kiss was wet and rough.

Neither cared if they got caught at the moment. It had been too fucking long of a wait. They both needed this.

They continued to kiss for a moment longer before Alex removed her mouth from Piper's and began to attack the side of her neck. Her hands roughly cupped at Piper's small breasts through the thin material of her t-shirt. Her teeth nipped and bit slightly as they made their way down the curve of Piper's neck to her collarbone.

Piper immediately closed her eyes and threw her head back, exposing more of her throat to Alex. Her entire body was vibrating as Alex's hands ran down her torso and to the waistband of her jeans. Alex pulled down the zipper roughly before sliding a hand down into her panties.

Piper let out a small groan as she felt Alex's fingers brush up against her cunt. It had been so long since she had felt someone touch on her.

Six months was a long time to go with out sex.

Alex couldn't help but smile into Piper's neck as she continued to moan and whimper at her touch. Piper had always been a vocal lover since day one.

Piper had her hands on Alex's chest. She needed to touch Alex as much as she was touching her now, working the folds of her pussy. Piper's hand curled, gripping the material of Alex's shirt as a wave of pleasure washed over her. Alex continued to bite at the side of her neck as she rubbed at Piper's clit.

After eight years, it amazed them that they still knew...still remembered were to touch each other. Alex could remember every little hot spot to get Piper off as her hands continued to work at her cunt, sliding one digit into her as the other continued to work magic on her clit.

Piper let out another moan as she clung to Alex. She could feel her body becoming weak as Alex's touch continued to take over her. She didn't no how much longer she could last like this. Alex lifted her head and locked eyes with Piper.

They were dark with desire and yearning.

They held each other eyes for a second longer before Piper was crashing her mouth against Alex's, her hands grasping at the dark locks at the back of her head. Their tongues intertwined together as the arousal continued to build.

"Fuck!" moaned out Piper as she broke apart from the kiss and leaned her head against the wall.

"FUCK! ALEX! I'm cominggg..." she moaned again as Alex's finger continued to move in and out of her. She couldn't take it any longer.

Alex continued to touch her roughly, watching as Piper's mouth grasped opened like a fish trying to get air. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut as a low growl escaped from the back of her throat as she climaxed.

Alex softened her touch as she slowly began to removed her hand from Piper. She held her close to her, supporting her weight as she tried to catch her breath. Neither spoke a word.

Piper opened her eyes and looked up at Alex as she rested her forehead against hers. Their eyes locked immediately with one another.

"Come home with me," whispered Alex before pressing her lips against Piper's in a tender kiss.

* * *

The two women left the bar quickly. Neither wanted the night to end.

"Do you want to walk or take a cab?" asked Alex towards Piper as they poured out into the street. It was late at night now but the air was still warm and humid feeling.

"Which one is faster?" asked back Piper as her eyes looked on at Alex with lust. She didn't cared what mode of transportation they took. Just whatever one would get them to Alex's place, quicker. She didn't know how much longer she could wait. Her whole body was craving for Alex's touch. Since their quickie in the bathroom stall, she craved more. And not just of sex but of Alex. Her mouth craved to taste her juices on her tongue.

She felt like an addict who had just taken their first hit after being clean for eight years.

She needed more.

To feel that sweet high again.

Alex just smirked at Piper's desire. She too felt it. "A cab, it is!" she murmured in reply as she grasped at Piper's hand.

And just like some miracle one pulled up on the curve in front of them.

Faith was defiantly on their side that night it seemed.

They didn't say another word as Alex began to pull Piper along with her to the cab. They immediately slid into the back of the car and Alex told the driver the address to her apartment. Like Nicky, she lived in Soho and it was only a five minute drive away. They would be there in no time, she thought to herself as she smile down at Piper, before pulling her into a kiss.

She lay Piper's hand on her thigh as the kiss gingerly deepened. Letting go of it, she brought her hand up to Piper's face and cupped the side of it. Both women were lost in their own world. They didn't care about the looks the cab driver was giving them to their public affection.

It was just them and their desire now.

Just like they were twenty again.

_"Alex, everyone is staring," whispered Piper harshly, trying to push Alex away as she made another attempt to kiss her._

_Alex just chuckled at this. "So?" she whispered back as she leaned in to kiss Piper but only got the side of her cheek. Alex cocked an eyebrow at this._

_Piper once again tried to push Alex away as she looked around the crowded subway. It was Friday night and they'd gone to Boston for the weekend. They hadn't been going out for that long now. It had been a month since Piper had met Alex at the party. Piper was enjoying her time with Alex. But everything was new to her. Not just the sex but the constant stares that the two of them seemed to get when out in public._

_It didn't bother Alex but it did, Piper._

_She had never minded public affection before but she did with Alex. She hated the constant staring and judgmental looks that people gave them on the street. They didn't get them so much when Alex was visiting her at Smith. It being a liberal arts college for women, it was pretty normal to see two girls together._

_Alex lifted her head and looked around the crowded subway train. "Fuck them," she whispered as she returned her attention back onto Piper._

_Piper just frowned at this._

_Alex didn't want to push Piper but she didn't want to be limited to showing her girlfriend affection. She hated how a guy could practically grope and tongue-fuck a girl in public and no one bated an eyelash. But two girls holding hands could get the dirtiest of looks from people._

_Alex had long ago stopping letting the stares bother her but she knew this was all new for Piper._

_Alex smiled warmly at Piper. She held both of her hands in hers. "Pipes," she whispered, "Fuck them."_

_Piper's eyes scanned Alex's face at this. She smiled nervously up at her. Nodding her head slowly in reply._

_Alex then leaned down once again and made an attempt to kiss Piper. Piper this time allowed her too, slowly letting her walls down and not caring what others thought._

"Fuck!" swore Alex as they stood outside the door of her apartment.

"What?" asked Piper in worry. "What's wrong?"

"I don't have my fucking key!"

"What do you mean you don't have your fucking key?!" asked back Piper in confusion.

"I. Don't. Have. My. Fucking. Key!" cried back Alex in frustration. "I left it at the bar!" She had left her whole purse back at the bar. She hadn't planned on leaving the bar after going after Piper. She hadn't realized until now that she didn't have it. Piper had paid the cab fare.

Piper just looked on at Alex in disbelief. She couldn't believe that this was happening that her perfect night with Alex was going to be ruined by this. The two women continued to stand there in silence before an idea popped into Piper's head.

"We can go back to my place..." offered Piper, a small smile appearing on her face as Alex looked up at her.

"Larry isn't home..." She whispered, hoping that Alex got the hint.

Alex raised an eyebrow at this, a small smile slowly appearing on her face.

The night was just turning around it seemed.

As the two women turned and began to walk back towards the old elevator lift of the building, it dawned on Alex, she had a spare key. She stopped walking abruptly and reached out for Piper's wrist, stopping the blonde in her tracks.

"What?" asked Piper in worry that Alex was going to deny going back to her apartment.

"I have a key," whispered Alex, a smirk appearing on her face before she dropped Piper's wrist and began to walk back to the door.

She had always kept a spare key in the broken light fixture by the door.

Piper didn't say anything as she slowly followed Alex back to her apartment door and watched as Alex reached into the circular light fixture. A second passed before Alex, magically produced a silver key. A wide grinned appeared on the older woman's face at this.

She looked like she had just struck gold.

Alex then leaned forward and kissed Piper passionately on the lips before pulling quickly away. She winked at Piper before turning her attention to the door and slid the key into the lock.


	7. eaten your pussy, cunnilingus, muff dive, lick-twat

Sunday, June 16th- 12:01 am

The apartment was dark as they entered it.

Neither spoke a word as Alex closed the door behind her and put the key in the small bowl which rested on the end table by the door. The two women just stood there for a second looking at each other in the dark. Both their hearts where racing in anticipation and excitement to what was to come next.

Piper was the first one to make a move.

She threw herself against Alex.

Her hands gripped the sides of her face as her mouth crashed against Alex's.

Alex returned the affection quickly back. Her hands went to Piper's waist, holding her close to her as their tongues met. Neither could believe this was happening, but neither wanted to stop and discuss it. There would be time for talk later. Right now the only thing on their minds now was sex.

Piper's hands tugged at Alex's hair, pulling their mouths closer together than what seemed possible to do. She wanted her and badly as her tongue continued to roam the insides of Alex's mouth. She could taste beer and tobacco on Alex's lips.

Piper found this to be such a turn on at the moment.

As the kiss continued to deepen, Alex pulled roughly at the edge of Piper's shirt. She wanted it off as she began to pull it up Piper's torso.

The kiss was broken for a brief second as Alex removed the shirt off of Piper's body and threw it to the side. Alex licked her lips as she took in the sight of Piper standing there in only a black bra to enclose her breasts. Piper's breasts weren't the biggest that Alex had seen before. But she had always loved them. She loved how they could fit smuggling into the palm of her hand. They were perfect to her.

"You next," whispered Piper, her eyes gleaming with lust as they pierced into Alex.

A small smile appeared on Alex's face at this. "Yes, Ma'am," she whispered as she did was she was told and quickly discarded her own t-shirt.

She raised both eyebrows as she threw the shirt to the side and gazed onto Piper. The two of them continued to look at each other, their faces inches a part, allowing the arousal to build before giving in to temptation.

Their lips crashed together in passion once again. Hands groped and touched at bare skin. Bra straps were pushed off shoulders in a need to feel the other. It was all primal between them as Alex suddenly broke away from the kiss and pushed Piper up against the near by kitchen Island. Alex's hands gripped at Piper's wrists, pinning them against the cold granite countertop as she leaned over and began to nibble at her ear lob. Her pelvis pressing into Piper's.

Piper yelp out slightly as the base of her spin made contact with the coldness of the granite. But she didn't want Alex to stop as she felt the hotness of her breath against her skin as her mouth began to make it's way down the curve of her neck. Piper could feel herself getting wet as Alex continued to press into her. The silk of her bra brushing slightly against the top of her chest, teasing her like a feather.

Piper moaned softly as Alex licked and kissed her way down the front of her chest. Her heart picked up speed as Alex continued to tease her. She desperately wanted to touch Alex and for Alex to touch her. She arched her back and thrusted her chest outwards, pushing it against her.

Alex lifted her head at this, locking eyes with Piper before pulling her into a long kiss. She let go of Piper's hand and immediately began to undo the clasp of her bra.

The bra was then quickly discarded asAlex cupped Piper's now bare breasts in her hands. She pushed them together slightly, kneading at the skin. The pads of her fingers brushing softly up against the sensitive skin of the nipple. She continued to do so, flicking the nipples between her fingers until they were hardened peaks.

Piper moaned against Alex's lips as a wave of pleasure washed over her. Alex knew how to touch her just right.

They stayed like this for a few moments longer.

Tongue fucking and touching.

Piper pushed down the front of Alex's bra, releasing her right breast. Her left hand played with it as her right hand roamed circles up and down Alex's flat stomach. It was then, Alex's turn to moan as a warmth of pleasure filled the pit of her stomach as Piper pulled on her nipple. It had been almost a year since Alex had been with someone. It was liberating to feel someone's touch on her other then her own. As Piper continued to kneed at her breast roughly, Alex bit down on Piper's lower lip, pulling on it slightly with her teeth.

Both wanted more. Desired more.

Alex's hands immediately went to Piper's ass. She cupped her through her jeans before lifting her up in one fluid motion and onto the surface of the island. Piper was now perched on top of it.

Alex's mouth was once again traveling down her neck and down the centre of her chest. She could feel goose bumps forming on her skin but she ignored it, watching Alex through heavy lidded eyes.

Alex's hands where roaming up and down Piper's thighs, starting from the outside of her knee and slowly crossing over to the inside of her was practically melting on the spot at what was to come next. She couldn't wait to feel Alex against her already throbbing pussy.

Piper tilted her head back and purred softly as Alex's hands suddenly rubbed up against her through the material of her jeans as they traveled upwards to her fly. Alex slowly then began to undo the button of the jeans and pull down the zipper.

Piper immediately supported her weight as she lifted her hips off of the counter, allowing for Alex to push down the waist band of the jeans, exposing her ass, inch by inch. She removed Piper's panties at the same time. Leaving Piper now naked lying on the kitchen island as she discarded the jeans to the floor along with Piper's scandals.

Alex just stood there for a second, taking in the beautiful creature that lay before her like a feast. She licked her lips as she slowly removed her glasses and continued to allow her eyes to roam slowly up and down Piper's body, inch by inch. It was like she was taking a full body scan of Piper with her mind.

She wanted to savour it .

Piper smiled seductively at her as she leaned up against her elbows and spread open her legs. Giving Alex a full view of her bare cunt except for the small strip of pubic hair at the top of it.

"You're beautiful," whispered Alex as she placed her glasses into the pocket of her jeans as she took a small step closer to where Piper lay. The two women continued to stare at each other for a second longer before Alex rested her hands on Piper's knees. She then leaned down and kissed Piper's navel.

Piper flexed her hips slightly in response to this. She was holding her breath as Alex made her way down to her centre. She titled her head back and moaned as she felt Alex's tongue lick at her pussy. Every nerve in her body seemed to be alert and on edge as pleasure washed through her.

Alex repeated the action, slowly moving her tongue upwards from Piper's asshole to her clit, slowly stimulating her.

Piper moan out loudly in response.

Her mouth covered the entire surface of Piper's cunt. She licked at her slowly. Flicking the tip of her tongue over her entire pussy, tickling her clit. She then began to flatten her tongue, licking at Piper hard like an ice cream cone. Her mouth sucked hard on the hood of her clit as her tongue flicked the sweet spot with her tongue.

Piper quivered underneath Alex's touch. She had been with a few women after Alex, but nothing had compared to the talents that Alex had in the bedroom. Even Sex was Larry had never been as satisfying as it seemed to be with Alex.

The brunette was on her own level.

The blonde continued to moan and whimper as pleasure continued to build. Her hands were pressing hard against the granite countertop as she arched her back and flexed her hips into Alex's mouth.

Alex continued to work her tongue and lips over Piper. She deepened her touch slightly as the tip of her tongue circled around Piper's opening before plunging inside.

"AAALLLEEXXXMMMMHH..." whimpered out Piper at this. Her hand went immediately to the back of Alex's head. Her fingers clenching around her hair as she came.

_"So have you guys done the nasty yet?" asked Nicky suddenly over towards Piper._

_Piper immediately looked up from the book she was reading and over at her friend. "What?" she asked in a whisper. She leaned slightly over the table to hear Nicky better. They were in the library, studying._

_"You know, have you and Alex done it yet?" asked Nicky again, as she leaned back in her seat and smirked at Piper._

_"What!?" asked Piper again, her face turning red with an embarrassment. She was trying to keep her voice low but was finding it difficult. She stared at Nicky in disbelief. She had heard her perfectly well the first time. Her and Alex had been only been going out for two weeks now. They had only gone on two dates too. Alex had only gotten back from her job, a week ago now._

_"You know...has she eaten your pussy, cunnilingus, muff dive, lick-twat..."_

_"No! NO!" cried out Piper a little too loudly, causing a few near by heads to turn and look in her and Nicky's direction. Piper smiled apologetically at them before turning her attention back onto Nicky. "No," she whispered harshly. "We haven't! Done that yet!"_

_Nicky just crossed her arms over her chest and continued to look smugly back at Piper. She liked to see the blonde squirm. She already knew that Alex hadn't sealed the deal yet with Piper._

_She knew that her friends were taking it slow._

_Piper just huffed at this before turning her attention back onto her book. Trying to get all thoughts of a certain dark haired woman out from her mind. She could still feel Nicky's eyes on her but she ignored them as she tugged a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and turned the page of her book._

* * *

They soon found themselves in the bedroom.

It was Piper's turn now as she smiled at Alex.

Her eyes dark with lust and yearning. She wanted to return the favour. She licked her lips before enclosing the space between her and Alex. She pressed a hard kiss against the other woman's mouth before pushing her onto the bed.

Alex couldn't help but smirk as she fell back onto the bed and looked up at Piper. Normally, when it came to sex, Alex always liked to be the one in control. To be the one on top of things. However, she didn't have any objections now as Piper climbed onto of her.

Piper towered over Alex as she straddled her hips. She ran a hand down the side of Alex's face before capturing her lips into a kiss. Their lips melted into one another. Their tongues once again finding each other in passion. They stayed like this for a moment or two longer, allowing for the kiss to deepen before breaking apart breathlessly.

Piper nuzzled her face into the nape of Alex's neck as her hand continued to travel down her side, cupping the fullness of Alex's breast. Her touch was soft and tender as she slowly began to kneed at the skin. The pads of her fingers teasingly pulling at the nipple.

Alex found her hand going to her other breast, touching herself as Piper worked on her other. She mimicked Piper's movements, acting as her other hand in away. Alex tried to keep her eyes open but found them closing as pleasure washed over her. It had been so long since she had been touched like this. She had gotten a little action at Litchfield. But since her return in the real world, she hadn't been dating much. She had been trying to keep a low profile of sorts on the dating scene. She didn't feel like she had the same game, as she once did.

She was no longer the hot, sexy, drug importer she'd once been.

The Badass.

She was just the photographer assistance with a criminal record.

There was hardly anything sexy about that.

Piper traveled her lips down the centre of Alex's chest and along her navel as her hands roamed up and down her thighs. Her blue eyes looked up and locked on Alex's face. Both women were feeling the same thing at the moment. They both wanted this. Desire and lust passed through them. There was no Larry. There was no Nicky. Or anyone at the moment but them.

Piper smiled seductively before nuzzling her face against Alex's small bush of pubic hair. She marvelled at the scent of the woman. It still amazed her how good a cunt could smell. She blew cold air against Alex's throbbing pussy, making her whimper softly in anticipation. She knew how much Alex hated to be teased.

She licked at her softly and slowly.

Taking her time as she relearned the land down below. As her mouth continued to explore, Piper switched her position so that one knee was in between Alex's legs, while the other was on the outside. Her own sex brushing up against Alex's knee as she continued to eat away at her.

Alex bent her knee slightly in response to this.

Piper immediately began to rub her self up against Alex's legs as she replaced her mouth on Alex's cunt with her hand. She rubbed at her folds before sliding two fingers into her wet opening.

Their eyes once again finding each other. Both stared intensely at each other as Piper continued to flex her hips back and forth along Alex's thigh as her fingers curled into her.

Alex had her mouth hanging open at the sensations running through her body. She was trying not to close her eyes and focus on Piper's blue ones, burning into her. But was finding it difficult. It had been so long since she had felt anything like this. So aroused. So much desire and pleasure as she did at the moment with Piper on her. She just wanted to let it wrap around her like a cocoon.

She let out a low moan as a wave of pleasure washed over her as Piper found that sweet spot. She arched her back slightly off the mattress, making Piper's finger dig deeper into her.

This went on for a few moments longer before Piper's hand suddenly went limp. Alex cocked an eyebrow at this as she watched as Piper suddenly threw her head back and moaned as she came.

Piper smiled sheepishly at Alex as she opened her eyes and once again looked on at her. Alex didn't look to happy at the moment that she had just stopped mid-way. Piper winked at the older woman as she suddenly removed herself from Alex's leg and leaned forward and licked her own wetness. She then leaned forwarded and crashed her lips to Alex's. Pulling her into a passionate kiss as her hand once again rubbed up against her pussy.

Piper wanted to make up for her selfishness by giving Alex a powerful climax.

Alex purred into Piper's mouth at feeling her rough touch on her cunt.

Piper plunged her tongue into the back of Alex's throat before running the tip of it along her bottom lip. She could feel that Alex was close to coming as her walls tightened against her fingers. She continued to kiss Alex, pushing her fingers rapidly in and out of her.

"Fuck," moaned out Alex as Piper added a third finger into her. Her hands pressed into the mattress, grasping at the sheets as her back arched as pleasure filled her. She tore her mouth away from Pipers and turning it to the wall as her eyes squeezed shut as she rode out her orgasm.

Piper kissed the side of Alex's neck as she pushed her fingers one last time into Alex's wet cunt before slowly removing them. She laid down beside Alex, watching as she caught her breath. As Alex slowly turned onto her side and locked eyes with her, she felt overcome with joy. Larry was far from her mind now as she continued to look at this beautiful woman laying beside her.

Alex would always have a piece of her heart. And deep down, Piper knew this. She had just tried for the last eight years to forget about it.

The two of them just lay there for a moment or two longer before Alex reached out and placed her hand on the curve of Piper's hip. She pulled her on top of her as their lips met in a tender kiss.

Round three was about to begin.

* * *

The morning sun peaked in through the bedroom window as Alex awoke from her slumber. A lazy smile appeared on her face as she took in the sight of the creature sleeping soundly beside her.

Last night had been amazing to say the least. It had been more then Alex had expected. But she was glad for the change in events. What had started off as a get together with friends had turned into an amazing night of sex with a woman she'd never really stopped loving.

Leaning forward, Alex pressed a soft kiss to the side of Piper's temple before slowly getting out of bed. She was being careful not to awaken the blonde as she rose to her feet and began to move around the room, looking for her glasses. She looked blindly around the room until she found them on the nightstand.

The room immediately came into focus as she slid the black frames onto the bridge of her nose. There was still the scent of sex lingering in the air. She couldn't help but smile as she thought again to last night. Her green eyes falling onto the sleeping figure of Piper again. The blonde was lying flat on her stomach. Her head was turned towards Alex. She was snoring softly. She stood there for a second longer watching as Piper slept before beginning to get dressed. Alex quietly put on a loose t-shirt and a pair of boy-shorts before leaving the room.

She was in desperate need of coffee.

As the coffee brewed, Alex began to pick up the discarded clothes off of the floor from last night. She folded each piece of clothing before setting it down on the kitchen island. As she did so, she heard the sound of the lock in the door being unlocked. She frowned at this as she turned slowly and looked over at the door as it opened and Nicky, suddenly appearing.

"Hey Vause!" spoke Nicky in greeting towards Alex as she pulled the keys out of the door and closed it behind her.

"Hey," greeted back Alex slowly. "What are you doing here?"

Nicky just smirked at her as she dangled the set of keys in front of Alex. "You left these behind last night," she explained towards Alex as she came further into the apartment, setting Alex's keys and purse down onto the kitchen island.

It then dawned on Alex how she'd left last night. She frowned as she felt Nicky's smug look on her face. She could tell that the other woman knew what had happened between her and Piper. She knew she probably had that _I -just- had- amazing- sex- last- night_ look going on. But Alex tried not show no emotion on her face as she cocked an eyebrow at Nicky.

"What?" she snapped.

"So where did you end up last night?" asked Nicky smugly to Alex. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she had caught up with Piper and something had happened between the two of them.

"No where," replied Alex towards the other woman before turning her back to her and began to pour herself a cup of coffee. "I left the bar and came here." And it wasn't a lie. She had done just that but with a certain blonde on her arm.

"Did you find Piper?" asked Nicky, knowing full well that Alex had.

"Yeah," replied Alex with a shrug of her shoulders. "We talked..."

"Oh don't fucking do that Vause!" cried out Nicky. "Don't act like this is no big deal. That Piper left upset and you followed her! You _so_ hooked up with her last night...didn't you?!" Nicky was being serious with Alex now. She knew Alex and had seen this dance before between Piper and Alex. She knew that they'd done a lot more then just talked last night.

"What? It's true. We talked. Then we went home..." Alex was trying to be as vague as possible to Nicky. She knew that Nicky wouldn't get mad at her or anything for sleeping with Piper while she was getting married. But Nicky, wouldn't just let it go either. Alex wasn't sure if she wanted to face that yet. To figure out what she was doing with Piper. Of where they went from here? Piper was getting married in less then a week now. She wanted to say that it was just a one night stand. But it was anything but that. It was so much more. As she pondered all this, Alex brought the steamy mug of black coffee up to her lips and drank slowly from it.

Nicky just scoffed at this. "You just _talked_ and went home...So if I go over to your bedroom now, I won't find a certain blonde there right?!" She cocked an eyebrow at Alex, a slow smiling appearing on her face at noticing the sudden look of panic edged on Alex's face.

Nicky just smirked at Alex before moving quickly towards the bedroom.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NICHOLS!" cried out Alex in a panic as she placed her mug onto the counter and raced towards the bedroom.

However, Nicky had already pushed opened the bedroom door by the time that Alex got there. Nicky didn't say anything as she appeared into the room, a smug look appearing on her face. Piper was on her side now, facing the door as she slept.

"So you just talked uh?" asked Nicky as she turned to look over at Alex. The petite woman was pretty proud of herself at that moment. After Alex had gone after Piper, she had figured that the two of them wouldn't return. Someone had gone to look for them in the bathroom after ten minutes or so had passed but they hadn't been found. Nicky knew that they would had ended up sleeping together eventually. She wasn't surprised really to find Piper in Alex's bed.

Alex opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. She just crossed her arms over her chest and down casted her eyes onto the floor. She was suddenly feeling ashamed of her actions last night.

Nicky continued to stare at Alex for a second longer before speaking, "Look, I didn't come here to check to see if you and Chapman got together or not. I wanted to return your purse but also to see if you were still coming to Red's. Because if you are...we got to get a fucking move on it!" She then pointed to the face of the watch on her wrist. It was only 9:30 but Red lived just outside of the city and was an hour away. They needed to get a move on things if she was going to make it on time. She had told Red, she would be there by 11.

Alex snapped her head up at this. She had completely forgotten about brunch at Red's. She didn't say anything in reply for a second as she looked passed Nicky and into the bedroom. She didn't want to brush Piper off. But at the same time, she didn't want to bail on Nicky.

"Bring her along," spoke Nicky as if reading Alex's thoughts. "Red would love to see Piper."

Alex locked eyes with Nicky at this. Had Nicky lost her fucking mind? she thought to herself. She couldn't just invite Piper along. "I dunno," she murmured with a shrug of her shoulders.

"You guys slept together last night? what's the big deal of asking her to come along? I'm sure she would love to see Red." replied Nicky towards Alex.

This was a bad idea, she thought.

She couldn't just ask Piper to come along like some sort of date. Things between them were already messy as it was before last night. She didn't want to make it even more of a mess by pressuring Piper into coming along to Red's.

"I can't," she murmured again. Her heart wanted too but her mind was saying something else.

"Well. Then I will," stated Nicky as she smirked at Alex before turning and taking a small step into the bedroom.

"Fuck no," whispered out Alex harshly as she reached out and grasped Nicky suddenly by the wrist, pulling her out of the bedroom. There was no way was she allowing for Nicky to walk into her bedroom and awake a naked Piper to ask if she wanted to come from brunch. That would surely scare off the blonde.

She couldn't risk that.

"Just give me five fucking minutes," stated Alex, her green eyes boring into Nicky's brown ones.

Nicky just chuckled at this, "Okay, I will be downstairs waiting!"

And with that Nicky left the apartment. She knew that Alex just needed a little push in the right direction to ask Piper. Her little trick had worked. She was once again proud of herself.

"Fuck!" swore Alex underneath her breathe as she heard the sound of the door closing. She didn't know what she had just gotten herself into. She adjusted her glasses, as her attention once again fell onto Piper, who was still fast asleep. She didn't know how things would turn out but she figured she didn't have really anything to lose at this point.

Plus, it was just brunch right? No strings attached.

* * *

"Aw, Chapman, it's good to see ya again!" spoke Nicky smugly towards Piper as she slid into the back of the car with Alex. "Sleep well last night?" She asked, winking playfully at the blonde as she continued to appear at her from the driver's seat.

Piper blushed at this. She didn't say anything as she dropped her gaze nervously into her lap.

"Drop it, Nicky!" warned Alex towards Nicky. She knew Nicky liked to tease and banter but it wasn't making the whole situation anymore awkward. She had practically twisted Piper's arm to come. The blonde had been sceptical at first but had agreed to come along. Larry was out of town and she didn't have any other plans for the day.

"What?" asked Nicky, playing dumb. She smirked at the two of them for a second longer before turning in her seat and looking over to the passenger side where Lorna was seated.

No one said another word as Nicky turned on the car and the vehicle filled with sudden music blaring from the radio. The sudden loudness made everyone jump a little.

"Sorry...sorry!" apologized Nicky as she turned down the volume."I like to jam out, sometimes!"

Lorna said something in reply to this but neither Alex or Piper heard her. They were both, too lost in their thoughts as the couple in the front flirted away with each other for a moment longer.

Piper leaned back in her seat and nervously chewed on her bottom lip as she looked out the window as they began to drive down the streets of New York. She couldn't seem to process everything that was going on at the moment. She still felt like she was dreaming in away. When Alex had a woken her, she'd been in a daze. She couldn't believe that she had gone home with Alex last night. And to be now sitting in the back of Nicky's car with Alex and heading over to Red's house for brunch.

It was so surreal to her.

Alex too was looking out the window, watching the passing people on the street. She too felt like she was in some sort of strange dream. She closed her eyes briefly before letting out a sigh and looking over at Piper. She really hated how Nicky had interrupted their morning together. She could be having sex at the moment, she thought to herself as she watched as Piper ran a hand up the side of her bare arm, as if waving off a sudden chill.

Alex was suddenly over come with the need to touch Piper. She wanted it to be her hand running up and down Piper's arm, warming her. And without giving it another thought, Alex reached out with her left hand and touched Piper's elbow.

Piper immediately jumped at this. She turned her head and locked her eyes on Alex's face.

"Hey," whispered Alex.

Piper stared at her for a second before her face broke out into a shy smile, "Hey."


	8. this is cocoDo

Sunday, June 16th- 11:11 am

"You're late!" stated Red in her thick Russian accent as she appeared in the door and looked on at the four of them standing on her porch.

"Only by eleven minutes Mommy," replied back Nicky, apologetically. "Plus, I picked up some hitchhikers along the way!" She smiled a wide grin as she gestured over her shoulder at both Alex and Piper.

Red didn't say anything at first as she stared on at Nicky before looking over to the two figures. The older woman just glared from Alex and Piper and back before her face broke out into a uncharacteristic grin.

"Blondie!" cried out Red, recognizing Piper immediately.

Piper couldn't help but smile broadly back.

"Hi, Red!" she greeted back.

Piper had been nervous about coming to Red's for brunch. Not just because she would be spending the entire day with Alex but because it had been years since she had seen Red. The two of them hadn't gotten along really when they had first met. Piper had made the mistake of insulting Red's food within her first week at arriving at Smith. But Piper soon learned her lesson. It wasn't until, her second year that Piper had gotten to known Red really well through Nicky.

"And Alex, it's nice to see you too!" spoke Red, as she turned and looked over at Alex.

Alex adjusted her glasses and smiled warmly at the Russian. "It's been a while!" she replied with a nervous chuckle. The last time she had seen Red had been the day before she'd been arrested.

"Well..come in, come in!" cried out Red as she held open the door for them and gestured for all of them to come inside.

They all filed into line at this. First starting off with Nicky, then next Lorna. Alex and Piper, bumped shoulders awkwardly with each other as they both moved at the same time towards the door.

"Oh, sorry!" murmured Piper

"Sorry!" murmured Alex.

Both women locked eyes with each other at this and laugh nervously.

"You first," spoke Alex in a low whisper, gesturing for Piper to go first inside. Her green eyes pierced intensely into Piper.

Piper felt a chill run down her back at the lowness of Alex's voice. Her voice was pure sex. Piper just stood there, staring back at Alex, wide eyed for a second before coming to her senses. She could feel her cheeks flush slightly as she down casted her eyes and murmured an apology to Alex before quickly stepping passed her and heading into the house.

Alex just smirked as she watched as the blonde walked into the house before following close behind.

* * *

Piper didn't know why but she found herself avoiding Alex.

She sensed it had something to do with the strong feelings she had for the woman. Piper felt like she was sixteen again and avoiding her high school crush. Being in Alex's presence made her squirm and blush like a teenager. It didn't help matters that they'd slept together the night previously. The minute Piper locked eyes with Alex from across the room, she could feel her self getting hot and bothered down below. She was afraid if she stayed too long in a room with her, she would end up jumping or something.

She wanted her and badly.

Red didn't usually like people in her kitchen but Piper insisted on helping. She knew she was being an coward with not facing Alex. She just had to prepare herself. That was all. But her time was coming to a close. Red's chicken kiev had just come out of the oven and the salad didn't need any more tossing.

"Let's go blondie!" spoke Red towards Piper. "It's time to eat!"

Piper looked over her shoulder at this and nodded her head towards the Russian woman.

"Coming!" she murmured in reply.

Red continued to look on at Piper for a second longer before pushing open the swinging door of the kitchen with her back and carried out a platter of chicken kiev.

Piper watched her go before turning her attention back onto the salad she was tossing. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. It was now or never, she figured. She couldn't hide out in the kitchen for much longer. However as she lifted the salad bowl and began to make her way into the adjoining dinning room, she ran straight into Alex.

The two women stopped dead in their tracks and stared at one another. A deadly silence fell over them for a moment before Alex spoke.

"Sorry," murmured Alex towards Piper. She had clearly caught the blonde off guard. "Red just...wanted me to get the orange juice..." Her voice trailed off slightly as she continued to look at Piper. She was suddenly nervous and she could sense that Piper was too. The two of them had spoken briefly in the car but they had yet to discuss what had happened last night.

"Of course," replied back Piper, giving Alex a tight smile.

Alex smiled briefly back at her before going to the fridge and retrieving the pitcher of juice. As she did this, Piper continued to stand frozen in the middle of the kitchen, clenching the wooden salad bowl in her hands.

"Well, I guess I will see ya out there then..." murmured Piper towards Alex before leaving the kitchen.

Alex couldn't help but chuckle slightly as she straightened her back and watched as Piper fled from the kitchen, the door swinging closed behind her. It was going to be a long afternoon, she figured as she slowly closed the fridge door and made her way back into the living room with the cold pitcher of juice in her hand.

* * *

Piper smiled nervously at Alex as she took the seat beside her at the table. She could feel herself blushing. She hated how shy she felt as she looked down at her plate.

Alex pursed her lips slightly at Piper's shyness. She couldn't believe how fucking adorable Piper was at the moment. She had her tongue pressing firmly into the side of her cheek as she continued to gaze on at Piper for a second longer, trying to stop the urge to smile.

"What is new with you two?" asked Red towards Alex and Piper as she served herself a piece of chicken kiev before handing over the tray to Nicky, who was seated on her left.

Both women looked up and over at Red at this. They weren't sure if she was applying anything with her question or if she was just asking in general what was new with them.

Red cocked an eyebrow and continued to stare at the two of them as she waited for an answer. She was puzzled by their bewilder looks on their faces. The Russian woman then looked over to her daughter. "What's wrong with them?" she asked gesturing with her fork between Piper and Alex, who had yet to say anything.

Nicky just chuckled as she looked at Red before glancing across the table. "Nothing ma," she replied as she served herself a piece of chicken before handing over Lorna, the serving fork. "It's a long story let's just say!" It was defiantly a long story, she thought.

Red just looked on at her daughter for a second before looking back onto Piper and Alex. It was always a long story with the two of them, thought the older woman. An awkward silence then fell over the table for a moment as everyone busied themselves with filling their plates with food.

Both Alex and Piper were avoiding looking at each other or anyone for that matter. They were keeping their attention focused promptly on their plats.

"How is your job Alex? You work as a photographer now?" asked Red, again trying to make an attempt at conversation.

This time Alex was ready. She adjusted her glasses as she looked over at Red. "I work at a photography studio.I'm an assistant at the moment. Training to be a photographer," she replied slowly explaining her job. "It's okay." She added with a shrug.

Red didn't say anything at first as she continued to stare at Alex. The older woman could read something else on Alex's face. She could sense that the girl wasn't happy with her life at the moment. Which was understandable. Red had seen Alex when she was young and at her prime. The girl had oozed confidence but now she saw a very different girl staring back at her. Yes, Alex was a woman now. But there was something else about her too. There was a sadness behind those green-blue eyes of hers.

Alex stared back at Red for a moment longer before dropping her gaze. She could sense that Red could see through her in away and she didn't like it. Alex nervously tucked her hair behind her ears before daring to look back up again.

Red was no longer looking at her but at Piper now. "And blondie, what is new with you? Nicky says you're getting married?"

Alex turned slightly in her seat and looked over at Piper.

Piper looked surprised at being called out. She sat up straight in her seat as she locked eyes with Red and smiled a tight smile at her. "Yes, I am getting married...in a few days..."her voice trailed off slightly as she looked away briefly. She had almost forgotten that she was getting married.

"Are you nervous? I remember I was a basket case before my own wedding," Red, smiled a wide smile at this. Her laughter ringing slightly off the walls. It had been so long since she had thought about her wedding.

Piper couldn't help, but laugh slightly at this. She didn't dare to look at everyone else but Red. Yes, she was nervous, but not about the wedding. There were a few other things on her mind now other than her big day coming up. The blonde nodded her head slightly as she ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm a little," she admitted in a quiet voice.

Alex continued to stare at Piper for a second longer before meeting Nicky's eye from across the table. The other woman raised her eyebrows in response, her dark eyes appearing into Alex's green ones. Alex just shrugged her shoulders before down casting her eyes. She was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable as Red continued to ask Piper about her wedding. She tried to tune it all out as she slowly reached for her knife and fork and began to cut her chicken. She didn't want to hear about the upcoming wedding. She didn't want to have to think about that just yet. That Piper in a few days would be married to some Larry guy. She was slowly falling under the blonde's spell again. She didn't want to go through the pain of losing her again. She didn't want to have to face that..,

She wanted to continue to live in the bliss from last night.

* * *

"I was sorry to hear about your husband," spoke Piper towards Red. Nicky on the car journey up as informed her about the passing of Red's husband a few years ago and how she was sharing a house with a woman named, Claudette or Miss. Claudette as people called her and how they ran a small bistro together. "He was always such a pleasant man."

Piper had always been fond of Sal, Red's husband. He was a small balding Russian man who was always cracking jokes. She was sad to hear about his passing.

A sadness smile appeared on Red's face at this. "Thank you," she whispered towards Piper. It had been two years since her beloved Sal had died suddenly of a heart attack but it still hurt to think of about him. He'd been her everything at one point in time.

Lunch was now over and the five of them where in the living room of the house, having coffee and Miss. Claudette's coconut cake.

"Can I just say something? Can I just say how fucking amazing this cake is!" commented Nicky, through a mouthful of cake.

Both Piper and Red turned slightly and looked at Nicky for a moment in disbelief.

"What? It is!" continued on Nicky. She hadn't been paying attention to what they had been talking about earlier with Red's husband. "I know, I know, Mommy you make coconut cake too! But Claudette's is fucking better! This is cocoDO and yours Mommy...I'm sorry was cocoNOT!"

The room was silent for a second as both Piper and Red continued to stare at Nicky in puzzlement.

However, Red's booming laughter suddenly filled the room as she tilted her head back and laughed at her daughter. Nicky was referring to Red's failed attempt of making the beloved coconut cake. "Yes, yes, Nicky I agreed. Claudette makes it much better than I do!" The older woman smiled at her daughter as she stabbed her fork into her untouched piece of cake.

Nicky smirked back at Red at this before continuing to devour the cake.

Another silence fell over the room as everyone continued to eat their cake and coffee in peace. Opera could be heard playing from the kitchen radio.

Alex, found herself tapping her foot along with the song as she finished off her cake. She was seated on a plush white armchair in a corner of the room, across from where Piper was seated with Nicky and Lorna on the plush maroon velvet couch. She was trying not to look at Piper but no matter how hard she tried, her eyes continued to travel in the blonde's direction.

Despite her having no make-up on and was wearing the clothes from last night, a white t-shirt that was slightly cropped and a pair of faded blue jeans, Piper looked amazing like always. The blonde was facing Red and was in deep conversation with her. She had her profile to Alex.

Alex took this moment to continue to ravish at Piper's beauty. Despite it being just the beginning of summer, Piper's skin already had a golden tint to it. She wasn't as dark as Nicky was, who spent half her time baking in the sun in LA but still had that sun-kiss glow. Unlike, Alex who was as pale as a ghost in comparison to the two of them.

Thanks to her Irish roots, she never tanned just burned.

Alex found herself licking her lips slightly as she looked down Piper's arm at the freckles painted there. She couldn't help but think how badly she wanted to lick at those freckled dusted arms later on. She didn't know for sure if there would be a later on tonight. But she was hoping with the fiancé out of town there might be... Being with Piper last night had opened up something deep inside of her that she had closed off long ago. Her feelings for this woman before her were strong and she couldn't stop them from flowing, madly through her.

She wanted her.

She couldn't help herself as she continued to stare at Piper.

Piper Chapman was cocoDO!

* * *

It was much later on in the day now and Piper found herself, at yet another a bar with Alex and Nicky.

After Red's and driving back into the city, the four of them had decided to go out for dinner. Piper knew she should had declined the invitation but she found herself saying yes. Larry wasn't home and she had no other plans for the evening. She couldn't face going back to her empty apartment. She was having too much fun and was curious to see where the night would lead. She knew she was walking a fine line with Alex at the moment. But she couldn't help but love every moment of it. It had been a long time, since she had felt like this.

This adrenaline of sorts whenever she was around Alex.

Over the last couple of years, she had lived a safe and predictable life with Larry.

Having Alex in the picture, blew everything to bits, it seemed.

Piper, no longer seemed to be the nice white lady who made soap and bought only organic produce. The daughter her parents were proud of in away. Her mother loved Larry and the life that Piper had created for herself with having a successful business with Polly. But when she was with Alex, that wild 22 years old came out of her. The girl who had been so full of life and craved adventure. Who had a passion for theatre and writing. Who didn't want the normal 9 to 5 job that her parents wanted her to have after graduating.

The night was warm as Piper leaned back and brushed shoulders with Alex. They were out on the patio and despite it being a Sunday, it was crowded. She turned her head slightly and looked over at Alex. They smiled seductively at each one another as they locked eyes. What had started off as a slight awkward outing had turned it's self around, quickly. The pitcher of beer didn't hurt matters either.

The four of them had been at the bar for some time now and didn't have any plans on leaving anytime soon.

Piper couldn't help but marvel at how good it felt to be with Alex and Nicky again. It felt like old times back in Smith. When they would all gather at one of the bars on campus and have a drink or two...or three sometimes.

Just enjoying life.

It felt like the good old days as Piper turned away from Alex after a second and looked over at Nicky, who smiled back at her. She found herself blushing slightly as she felt Alex's arm suddenly wrap around her shoulder. She once again turned to look over at Alex at this.

Alex just raised her eyebrows in that way of hers and smiled a small smile at Piper.

Piper smiled back at Alex at this.

Ever since coming back from Red's, a weight had seemed to be lifted off their shoulders. Neither, knew how to explain it really but they no longer seemed to care. They just wanted to live in the moment. They were both tired of dancing around their feelings for one another. It was a dangerous territory they were stepping in. But again, neither seemed to care.

They both just felt so alive at the moment.

Alex reached out for her glass with her free hand as her other ran up the side of Piper's arm. She watched Piper's reaction through the corner of her eye as she took a long sip of beer. She could feel Nicky's eyes on her but she didn't care.

For once, in a very long time, Alex didn't care and she was happy.

"Well, I think it's time that me and the missy start heading home," spoke Nicky as she looked over at Lorna before glancing between Alex and Piper.

It was about 11 at night. They had been at the patio for over five hours now. Nicky, who was driving had stopped drinking a while ago but her friends hadn't. Both Alex and Piper nodded their heads as Nicky pushed back her chair, followed by Lorna. Neither of them made an attempt of getting up. They didn't want the night to end for them.

"You two will be okay finding your way home?" asked Nicky, knowing full well that the two of them would be more than okay.

"Yeah," replied Alex meeting Nicky's eye. There was a smug look plastered on the other woman's face but she didn't apply anything else.

They then said their goodbyes with one another.

"And then there was two..." whispered Alex softly into Piper's ear.

Piper couldn't help but smile at this.

She'd been waiting for this moment all day. It was finally just the two of them again. She turned her head to face Alex. They were both thinking the same thing as they once again locked eyes with one another.

They stared intensely for a second before they could not take it any longer. The need to touch was too overwhelming. The kiss was soft and tender as their lips met.

"Come home with me," whispered Piper as she broke away from the kiss suddenly and met the brunette's eye.

Alex stared back at Piper with lust filled eyes. She knew this was a bad idea, going home to Piper's apartment that she shared with Larry. But at the same time, she didn't give a fuck. She wanted Piper. She wanted this. Her need was stronger than her logic on the matter. She didn't say anything in reply as she crashed her mouth passionately against hers. Her tongue forcing its way into the warm depths of Piper's mouth.

It was all fire between them.

Piper grinned as they pulled apart a moment later.

It was a yes.


	9. i can't stay

Monday, June 17th- 3:18 am

Piper knew it was a crazy idea to invite Alex back to her and Larry's apartment. But she couldn't help herself. She didn't want to say goodnight to Alex.

Larry had already texted her and called her twice that day. She had spoken to him briefly during brunch. He wasn't suppose to be back until Tuesday afternoon some time. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly but Alex just had that effect on her. All her logical thought went out the window when it came to the raven haired woman.

The bedroom smelt of cigarettes and sex as Piper turned onto her side and faced Alex. They had just finished making love for the fifth time.

The air in the room was musky.

Neither spoke a word as they stared at one another. They were both more sober now then when they had left the bar. They both knew that they needed to talk about the elephant in the room.

No one had dared to mention it before hand but now as they lay there, basking in their lovemaking, they knew it had to be said.

Alex pursed her lips slightly, as she continued to look at Piper in the dark. Her heart was beating rapidly with anticipation of what was to come next. She didn't want to be the first person to say something. To question what they were doing together.

However, at the same time, she needed to know. She needed to fucking know. She knew it was an affair of sorts. Or the start of one, in away. It wasn't just sex. Old wounds were slowly starting to reopen on both ends. If someone didn't talk about it soon it would just get even more messier than it already was for them.

Alex, found herself closing her eyes and reopening them before letting out a deep breath. It was now or never she figured. However, before she could say anything, Piper beat her to the punch.

"Why didn't you tell me, you went to prison?" asked Piper, suddenly. Her voice was filled with curiosity. It was something that had been bothering her since the pervious night after finding out from Big Boo that Alex had did time.

Alex was taken back by Piper's question.

It was not the one she'd been expecting. She frowned slightly as she looked on at Piper for a second long before replying. "I dunno..." she whispered with a slight shrug of her right shoulder. "There was never really a good time to bring it up...I didn't want you to judge me. I wanted you to like me again...Plus, it was none of your business. You left me..." There was a sad note in her voice as she spoke these last words.

Piper had been the one to leave her.

And it was the truth.

Piper had never really approved of what Alex had done for a living and was one of the many reasons why she had broken it off with her. Piper had said that one day her work would catch up to her.

And she had been right, it had.

There was a brief moment of silence as Alex held her breath, waiting for Piper's response. She had her walls up, suddenly. She didn't know what Piper would say and she was scared in away. Prison was a touchy subject for her. She never really talked about her time spent there.

Piper couldn't help but feel hurt by Alex's last comment. But deep down, she knew she was right.

Piper continued to look at Alex for a second longer. She didn't really know how to reply. She didn't want to start a fight. She didn't want to ruin the night. Having Alex upset was the last thing she wanted.

"How long?" She chose to ask another question instead.

Alex couldn't help but smile slightly at Piper's question. Naturally, she was avoiding the emotional situation by asking another question. Piper was never good with dealing with high emotions.

"Four years."

_Alex stared at her girlfriend in disbelief. It was if she was seeing her for the first time._

_"I can't do this anymore," repeated Piper again in a low voice. Her voice rang out like a bell over the quietness of the room. "I can't be with you..."_

_Alex didn't say anything as she continued to gawk at Piper. She took a couple of deep breathes, trying to clear the sudden fogginess of her thoughts. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. What did Piper mean, she couldn't do this anymore? Couldn't be with her?_

_This was news to her._

_"I'm sorry, Alex but I just can't do this anymore," explained the blonde again towards her. "I need to grow up."_

_"Grow up?"_

_"Yes, Alex. I need to grow up," replied Piper. "...and start acting like an adult."_

_"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" asked Alex, her voice dripping with rage. She didn't know what Piper meant by that she needed to grow up and start acting like an adult. She didn't sound like herself at this moment, she thought. Piper didn't sound like herself. This was Carol Chapman talking. Not Piper. "You sound like your mother!"_

_"This has nothing to do with my mother," replied Piper, her voice matching Alex's tone. She knew that this would be hard to do and Alex wouldn't be happy about it. But she did not want her mother to be brought into it. This was not about her. "I've just been thinking lately and yes, we've had fun but I just can't do this anymore Alex. I can't do this...US... anymore!"_

_She brushed her blonde hair off her face and gestured with her hands to the space between her and Alex._

_"I'm sorry. It's been fun but I'm graduating and need to start to living my life ..."_

_Alex glared at the woman standing before her. She didn't know where all this was coming from. Yes, Piper was graduating but what did that mean for her? About them really? They had talked briefly about moving to New York together. But nothing had been set in stone. After her mom had gotten sick, they hadn't talked much about the future._

_"I can't do this anymore," repeated Piper, her voice was low as her eyes continue to pierce into Alex. She hadn't wanted it to come to this but it was her only option. "I love you Alex but I can't be with you while you are involved in...the work you do."_

_"So you are breaking up with me because of...the work I do... because I work for an international drug cartel?" Alex spoke slowly, trying to piece it all together. She knew Piper didn't like what she did for a living but it had never really been an issue before. Alex didn't talk about her work with Piper. She kept that part of her life separate from her. "I told you Pipes, I would never put you in danger."_

_Piper shook her head at this. "It's not about just what you do but where your life is headed. You are 26 now. You can't just keep on doing illegal shit, Alex. It's going to catch up with you one day and that is not really a risk...I think I can take..."_

_"I'm sorry, I just can't do it anymore..."_

_"So what, you're just going to leave me? We're in the fucking hospital Piper! My mom is in the next room, practically dying and you're just going to fucking leave me!" Alex's voice was high-pitched now. Her eyes were filled with tears but she didn't dare to let them fall. She couldn't believe this was happening. That the woman she had loved and worshipped for the last three year was dumping her._

_In a fucking hospital for that matter._

_"I can't fucking believe you are doing this!" she cried out in sudden hatred. "No, wait! I should had seen this coming! Rule #1, never fall in love with a straight girl!" She knew this wasn't about Piper being straight but she couldn't help but throw it in her face. She was pissed and upset at the moment. And she wasn't going down with out a fight. No one just left Alex Vause._

_It was Piper's turned to get mad now. "You think this is because I like DICK!?" She couldn't help but laugh at this. She hadn't been with a man in years. This was not because she liked both men and women._

"When did you get out?"

"A year ago," replied Alex in a quiet voice. She didn't really want to talk about this anymore. There were a few other things on her mind now that she rather would be doing instead of playing 20 questions.

A silence fell over the two women as they continued to lay side by side in the bed. Piper was turning over this new bit of information in her mind. It all made sense now why Alex was working at a photographer studio. Alex had never once shown interest in the art when they had been going out.

Alex could sense that Piper wanted to ask her more but she wasn't in the mood for it at the moment. She smiled at Piper as she placed a hand on the slop of her hip, "Come here."

She knew they had more to discuss with Piper's upcoming wedding and what exactly they were doing together. But she didn't want to face it just yet.

There was always time in the morning to do so, she figured.

Piper returned the smile as Alex pulled her an inch or two closer. Their noses touched as Alex nuzzled her face against Piper's. Their eyes stared deep into one another for a second before lips met in a passionate kiss.

As the kiss deepened, Alex's hand dipped down towards Piper's sex.

Piper soon found herself on her back, gazing up at Alex as she towered over her. Her legs spread open as Alex's fingers worked at her folds.

Their eyes never left one another as Alex's other hand pinned Piper's wrists against the mattress, above her head. Her face hovered just inches over Piper's. Her breath was warm against Piper's skin. Piper tried to capture her mouth into a kiss but every time she move her face upward to meet Alex, she would pull away.

She was teasing her.

Alex was in control this time.

Alex just winked and smirked down at Piper as she continued to move over her. Their bodies brushed softly against one another every second or two as Alex continued to push and touch into Piper's centre.

The room soon filled with the heaviness of Piper's breathing. She was trying to control herself but was finding it hard too. Her lids were heavy with bliss as waves of pleasure washed over her, one after another. Alex had four fingers inside of her. They would curve slightly and pulse rapidly in and out of her for a moment before slowing down completely to feather like touches. To only pick up speed a moment later.

Piper's hips flexed against Alex's hand, following her movements.

They continued on like this for a few moments longer before Piper was screaming and moaning with pleasure.

* * *

It was later on as the sun peaked through the curtains and both were a woken to the sound of the house phone ringing. Piper's eyes fluttered open but she did not make a move to get up. She turned to head and looked over at Alex, who was spooning her.

Alex looked back at Piper with half-closed eyes. There was a lazy smile on her face as she pulled Piper closed to her and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Good morning," whispered back Piper.

They lay like this for a moment longer, listening to the ringing of the phone before Piper turned onto her side to face Alex.

She couldn't believe it had happened again. That she had spent the night with Alex. And this time in her own apartment. In her bed. The one she shared with Larry. A wave of guilt fluttered in the pit of her stomach as she looked on at Alex, who had drifted back to sleep. Piper couldn't help but think that Alex was on Larry's side of the bed as she continued to study her.

Just then, the phone began to ring again.

She couldn't help but sigh at this.

She knew she should probably get up and answer it. Figuring it was either Polly or Larry calling. Or worse, her mother. As she rose slightly onto her elbows, debating what to do, Alex stirred beside her.

"Go back to sleep," whispered Piper down towards Alex before getting out of the bed. She quickly reached for her bathrobe which was flung over the back of the vanity chair before making her way out of the bedroom.

Alex lifted herself onto her elbows and watched at Piper fled from the room. She listened as Piper answered the phone. She couldn't make out the whole conversation but she could sense that it was someone important on the other end.

She figured it was probably the fiancé.

She stayed like this for a second longer before turning her attention to around the bedroom. It was the first time she was seeing the room, really. She hadn't been paying much attention to anything else except for a naked Piper last night. The walls were painted in a light lilac colour. There were hints of purple mixed through out the room. It was all Piper, she thought. There was no real trace of Larry that she could see, except for the odd object.

She continued to look around until something caught her eye on the nightstand beside her. It was a framed picture of Larry and Piper. She reached out for it and studied it closely. It wasn't the traditional couple snap shot with cheezy smile plastered on their faces. Both of them were staring straight on at the camera with goofy faces on their faces. Piper had her eyes crossed and tongue sticking out. While Larry had his face scrunched up in an ugly expression.

This was not only the first time she was seeing Larry for the first time but Alex couldn't help, but admit that they looked happy.

They looked comfortable with each other.

She hated this.

It was then in this moment that reality came crashing down on her.

Piper wasn't hers. She belonged to someone else. This wasn't Alex's first affair or being with someone, who wasn't available to her. She had been with plenty of women who had girlfriends or boyfriends already. However, Piper was different.

They had history.

What the fuck was she doing? she thought to herself. She suddenly hated herself for allowing things to get this far. She had told herself a long time ago that she would never put herself in this kind of situation she was in now. Not, only falling in love with a straight girl but having an affaire with one. It never ended the way she wanted it too. But here she was going against every rule she had given herself. She cursed underneath her breath as she put the picture back onto the night stand.

She suddenly needed to leave. It was better for the both of them if they stopped whatever they were doing now before it was too late.

* * *

Piper looked up from where she was seated in the living room at hearing sudden movement in the hallway. She frowned slightly, not hearing a word Larry was saying on the other end as she continued to listen to the movement. Her attention was on something else as she rose to her feet and made her way into the entry way.

Her blue eyes locked in on Alex, who was fully dressed now in yesterday clothes, a faded Guns and Roses t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Piper didn't like this sight one bit.

Alex stopped suddenly and locked eyes with Piper.

"Look, Larry. I have to go," spoke Piper abruptly on the phone as she continued to look on at Alex. "I will talk to you later."

"I have to go," whispered Alex quickly as she bent down for her shoes which were lying by the front door.

Piper didn't say anything at first as she slowly lowered the phone from her ear and continued to look on at Alex in disbelief. She knew they would have to part ways soon but this was too soon for her.

"Alex..." she then began to step towards Alex.

"No Pipes, I can't stay," replied Alex cutting Piper off.

"I have work..." she lied quickly.

She hated to lie but she felt like she had no other choice. Alex knew if one of them didn't do something soon to stop this affaire that things would blow up in their faces. It was better that she left now and put some space between the two of them before this web they had created got more tangled.

Piper nodded her head sadly in understanding at this.

Alex had her own life and wasn't expected to stay. Piper knew this and understood it. However, it didn't stop her heart from hurting.

"Okay."

An awkward silence then fell over them as they continued to stand their in the foyer of Piper's apartment, looking at one another. Neither didn't want to say goodbye but knew they had no other choice.

"Have a good time at work, I guess..." spoke Piper slowly, a tight smile appearing on her face. She was hoping to break some of the sudden tension between them.

Alex smiled a sad smile at this and nodded her head slightly. She held Piper's gaze for a second longer before looking away briefly. She wanted to say something else but no words came to mind.

"Have a good day, kid," Alex whispered as she took a slight step towards Piper and kissed her softly on the lips before stepping back. She smiled at her one last time before leaving the apartment.

The door shutting softly behind her.

_Neither of them said another word for a moment as they continued to glare at each other with rage. Both were mad for different reasons._

_Alex, who was already emotionally drained from previous events with her mom, was upset that Piper would choose this moment to leave her when she needed her the most. Piper had been her rock for the past nine months since her mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She had been the best girlfriend a girl could ask for. She didn't understand the sudden change in thought. She couldn't help but feel like she had just gotten the wind knocked out of her._

_After a long lecture from both of her mother and Polly about the direction her life was heading in. And with the recent health scare of Alex's mom, Piper was afraid. She didn't know what the future held and it scared her more then she liked to admit. There was pressure from both of her parents to get a job and grow up. She had tried to bring up the future once with Alex but she had only joked with her._

_Alex didn't plan._

_She lived her life carefree and on the edge._

_And this was something that Piper loved about her. But it was something that also, scared the shit out of her too._

_Piper was a coward. She didn't have the guts to free fall through life with Alex. She wished she did. Oh, how she fucking wished she did. But when it came down to it. She didn't have half the guts that Alex did. She pretended too but she didn't. And with Alex's mom practically on her death bed. Piper was freaking out. She was no longer some kid anymore._

_She was a grown up and didn't know quite what to do about it._

_Piper let out a sigh as she looked away from Alex and tried to compose herself. She didn't want to leave but she felt like she had no other choose. She had to leave now before it was to late too._

_"Baby...please don't leave," Alex's voice came out in a low whisper as she broke the eerie silence between them. Gone was the anger and replaced with the vulnerability of a child._

_Alex was afraid and she hated it._

_She was practically begging but she didn't care. She loved Piper and she couldn't bare to lose her. Especially, when things weren't looking to good for her mom. She didn't have the strength to go through this alone. She pushed her glasses off of her face and stared intensely at Piper. Her green eyes begging her not to go._

_Piper looked immediately back at her at this. She was torn between staying and going. She bit down on her lower lip as she continued to stare at her. It broke her heart to see that look of desperation on Alex's face. And she hated that she was the reason for it. But as much as she wanted to stay, she knew she couldn't. She didn't have the courage to do this anymore. If she did chose to stay now, she knew it would only be a matter of time before she left Alex. If it wasn't going to be now...it would be some other time._

_She enclosed the space between them. Her blue eyes locked on Alex's green ones as she took her face in both of her hands and pressed a tender kiss to her lips._

_The kiss only lasted for a moment before Piper broke it._

_"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I can't stay."_

_Her voice was filled with pain as she dropped her hands suddenly to her sides and took a step away from Alex. She held her gaze for a second longer before abruptly turning on her heel and leaving the room._


	10. just like that

Monday, June 17th- 5:00 pm

Piper found herself paying no attention to Polly, who was seated across from her.

She was too busy checking her phone every two minutes to listen to what her friend was saying. They were suppose to be going through the final details of her wedding. However, Piper had no interest in her wedding at the moment.

Her thoughts were off on their own again, thinking about Alex.

Ever since, she'd left her apartment abruptly that morning that was all she could think about. She tried to get passed her feelings and focus on something else. However, she didn't like how things had ended between them.

It felt unresolved.

This didn't sit well with her.

Piper just wanted to talk to Alex and make things good between them. However, she wasn't sure what that meant. Piper loved her time with Alex and didn't want to see it end. But at the same time, these old feelings for her ex scared her. She wasn't sure what to do about all these emotions that were coursing through her body.

She wasn't good with dealing with emotional situations like this.

And Alex knew this.

It was why Piper had left her when she had, eight years ago.

Piper hadn't heard from Alex since that morning but that didn't stop her from checking her phone every minute. She was hoping that Alex would just text her to say _Hey_. She knew she could text Alex, herself. But she couldn't face the thought that Alex wouldn't text her back.

It had to be Alex to make the first move.

"Earth to Piper!" cried out Polly, suddenly waving a hand in front of Piper's face.

Piper immediately looked up at this and smiled apologetically at her friend. "Sorry," she murmured as she pocketed her phone.

"Who are you waiting to text you?" asked Polly out of curiosity. Polly knew Piper better then anyone. She knew she was waiting for a special someone to text her. She just wasn't sure, who that was.

"No one!" lied Piper and badly.

"Pssh, Pipes. You're clearly waiting for someone's text," commented Polly. "And please do not tell me it is Larry. I don't know if I can muffle your cutesy couple "I miss you" routine." Ughh...I wish me and Pete were still in the that faze. I'm so jealous of you...I wish I was getting married again..."

Piper was grateful for her friend's rambling.

The blonde just smiled and nodded her head like she was embarrassed. She knew Polly would have a cow for sure if she found out that the person she was waiting to text her was in fact not Larry but Alex. The two friends hadn't talked about her bachelorette party since that night but she knew Polly hadn't forgotten about it.

"So anyways...like I was saying before, you have your final dress fitting tomorrow and then on Wednesday there's the lunch-in with your mother, Larry's mother and your bridesmaids," explained Polly as she went back to business. She was reading off a list she had on her phone, going through Piper's schedule for the week. Everything was done really, just final touches had to be made. But other then that, the wedding was all planned.

Piper nodded her head slowly, listening to her friend before slowly reaching for her phone again and taking a sneak peek at it.

"Then on Thursday...there's nothing really to do. Except to drive out to the venue and go over the menu for dinner. Then on Friday, I scheduled a Spa appointment for you and me. We'll get our nails done and facial and a massage. That's happening at two. And then afterwards at night is the rehearsal dinner," continued to explain Polly before looking up and smiling excitably at Piper. "And then finally on Saturday is the Wedding!"

"I can't believe it," whispered Piper in response. And it was the truth. She couldn't believe that she was getting married in just a couple of days now. It seemed like just yesterday Larry had been proposing to her and she had started to plan this grand party that was to be her wedding. And now with recent events with Alex, Piper wished she had more time. More time until she tied the knot. More time to figure out what she wanted. More time with Alex.

Just in general, she wanted more time.

She couldn't help but feel like she had those mere days leading up to her graduation. She felt panicked. That she had to make big decisions without having enough time to figure what she really wanted.

_Piper couldn't sleep._

_Which wasn't a big surprise. She found she couldn't sleep most nights now. Not only was she studying for her finals around the clock and she had rehearsals for the play every day which ran late into the night on most occasions. But, just in general, she couldn't stop her mind from shutting down. She kept on thinking._

_Thinking about life and where she was headed with hers._

_There were only a few weeks left until she graduated and she still didn't know what she was going to do with the rest of her life. She had ideas but she wasn't for sure, sure. Like her older brother, Danny, she didn't have her life mapped out. Danny after graduating from Brown had gone straight into Medical school._

_Piper had aspirations to be a playwrite but that didn't mean she would end up being one. A career in the arts was hard. She didn't know if she had the backbone really to make it._

_Piper let out a sigh as she glanced over at the sleeping figure of her girlfriend beside her._

_Her future with Alex was also on her mind lately._

_She loved her._

_She loved her more then she had loved any one in her life before._

_But this scared her._

_Her mother still didn't approve of her relationship with Alex. And neither did Polly. This didn't really matter to Piper that much. She had dated guys in the past that hadn't gotten her friend's approval. But at the same time it bothered her that Alex wasn't welcome, in away. She wanted them to love her like she loved her. She wanted Alex to be welcomed warmly into the house, just like Piper was when she visited Alex's mom._

_She did have her dad's approval though._

_But what Alex did for a living didn't sit well with her either._

_She'd put up with it for three years but she didn't know how long that would last. Alex had never included her in the business or anything like that, which she was grateful for. She was afraid though that Alex, would get caught or worse- ask her to be a mule of sorts._

_Alex was always stress lately with her work. And the recent events with her mother, didn't help the brunette's stress levels either._

_Piper had tried to be as supported as she could for Alex. But she didn't know if she could do it much longer. Death had always been something that Piper had looked away from. She wasn't good when people got sick or at funerals. She wasn't good with handling emotions. And seeing Alex going through the realization that her mother was possibly dying of cancer._

_Piper couldn't help but freak out a little._

_She didn't know what to do if Alex lost her mother. She didn't know if she could be the support that Alex would need to get through the pain._

_Just the mere thought of the possibility made Piper want to jump out of bed and run far away from it all._

_"Pipes," whispered out Alex suddenly in her sleep, drawing the blonde out of her thoughts._

_Piper held her breath as she looked over at Alex, who was looking back at her through half-closed eyes._

_"Baby, go back to sleep," she whispered, smiling a gentle smile at her._

_Alex just shook her head slightly at this. She didn't want to go back to sleep, not without Piper that was._

_The two women just stared at each other for a moment before Alex slid her hand from underneath the covers and placed it on Piper's upper thigh._

_"Come be my little spoon," she whispered in a husky voice._

_Piper couldn't help but smile at this._

_This woman always knew how to melt her heart._

* * *

Alex blew smoke out of her mouth as she leaned back against the hot metal of the chair.

"So, are we going to talk about you and Piper?" asked Nicky, from across the table. The two of them were seated out on Nicky's small balcony. "Or are we just going to pretend that it's nothing...that you are just _comforting_ each other!"

Alex just glared at Nicky at this for a second as she took another long drag from her cigarette. "What's there to talk about?" she asked with an edge in her voice. "We had sex..."

Nicky just cocked an eyebrow at this. Both her and Alex knew that whatever it was she was doing with Piper, wasn't just about sex. With them, it was always so much more.

"And, now we're not!" continued on Alex as she took one last drag from her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray which rested in the middle of the table. "I ended it."

"You ended it," echoed Nicky, not sounding convinced. She knew Alex and she knew that when it came to Piper, things were never black and white.

"Yes, I ended it this morning," stated Alex in a matter of fact voice. And it was the truth. She had left Piper's apartment and had no reason to go back.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that!" repeated Alex as she once again leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. She glared at Nicky, coldly.

Nicky couldn't help but laugh a little at Alex's sudden serious mood. She knew that Alex wasn't feeling to great lately with the sudden events involving Piper. Piper had broken her heart once before and Nicky had been there to pick up the pieces...kinda. Nicky, knew that Alex had never fully gotten over Piper, in away. And it was clear now as Alex sat across from her, looking off in the distance that she was still badly hung up over her ex.

Alex could sense that Nicky wanted to discuss Piper more but she didn't want too. She was trying to move past it. She knew it would be hard but she had done it before, eight years ago. She could surely do it again...right?

If Piper wasn't getting married in a few days, she knew it would be different. That she would be considering having a relationship again with the blonde. Or at least discuss having one. But that wasn't the case. Piper was fucking getting married. And Alex had no interest in being the mistress. No matter how much she loved Piper.

She wouldn't go there again.

She just wanted to be happy, the way that Nicky was with Lorna. She wanted to be someone's everything. She wanted to be loved.

And she had, at one point in her life, with Piper. But she had also, broken her fucking heart.

She wasn't really sure if she could ever forgive Piper for leaving when she had. She knew she had her reasons but she had abandoned her. And was afraid that if she let Piper, anymore into her life then she already was, that history would just repeat it's self.

In away, that was why she had left when she had. Before things got too complicated and Piper freaked out again.

Before Piper could choose her fiancé over her.

Alex, like always was taking control.

"Give her time," spoke Nicky, after a moment had passed.

Alex shifted her weight in her chair and looked over at Nicky over the rims of her glasses. She raised an eyebrow at this.

"Give her time," repeated Nicky again as she took a long drag from her beer bottle before setting it down on the table. "She might surprise you."

"I don't think so..." Alex whispered sadly.

Nicky didn't say anything at first as she slowly gave Alex a knowing smile. "Did I ever tell you how I stole Lorna from her fiancé, Christopher?"

A surprised look appeared on Alex's face at this. This was news to her. She had heard the story of how Nicky and Lorna had met at an audition but she didn't know that Lorna had been with someone at the time.

"Well, I didn't really steal her from him," began to explain Nicky, a slight smirk appearing on her lips at the memory. "She was engaged to this guy. This Christopher dude. Who is a real jerk by the way. But that's not the point. The point is, I've been in the same place you're in now...well kinda."

"What happened?" asked Alex, out of curiosity. Nicky had her full attention now.

"Well, you know how we met. She came in to do an audition for that play and she got the part. And you know, naturally, me, I asked her out. She said no. But that didn't stop me from trying again and again. Until finally, she said yes. And I worked my charm on her and such and we started to you know...fuck. I knew she had a fiancé but I didn't care. I just wanted to have some fun..." Nicky ran a hand through her mane of hair before continuing on.

"And we did. But she ended it a week or so after the play had stopped running. Her wedding was approaching and made some fucking excuse that she had to _tighten_ up for Christopher. They didn't really have sex or something...I think he was catholic or something and was like "saving" him self for marriage..." Nicky lifted her hands and air quoted. She didn't really know the real story behind Lorna and Christopher's sex life and she didn't want to know.

Alex couldn't help but laugh slightly at this.

"Anyways, we parted ways. It was around winter time and I was heading back to LA for the season. I hate the fucking cold," commented Nicky as she made a move for her beer again.

"And I tried to forget about her. I started to work on a new movie. I drank loads, got high some and fucked any girl that I could. But when I came back to New York the next spring, guess who I ran in too..."

"Lorna," whispered Alex in realization.

"Exactly!" cried out Nicky, a smile appearing on her face. "She was in a play of one of my buddies and we had drinks and one thing lead to another. And the rest is fucking history!"

"But, what happened to the fiancé?" asked Alex, in confusion.

"It turned out he wasn't as pure as he said he was. He was hooking up with some chick in Long Island. Soon after, Lorna left me, she found this out and dumped him," explained Nicky as she emptied her beer. "See, just give Piper some time. Things might work out. It did for me and Lorna!"

Alex pursed her lips slightly at this. She knew that Nicky had told her this story to help her. But it didn't really chance things for her. Piper was still off limits to her and she didn't think that Larry was going to be leaving the picture, any time soon. She had never met him but she didn't think he was that kind of guy.

"I dunno," she replied with a sad shrug of her shoulders. She didn't think that if she waited around for Piper that it would chance anything.

Once Piper usually made up her mind, she stuck with it, no matter what. If Piper went through with the wedding, she would be staying married for a while, Alex figured.

Alex continued to hold Nicky's gaze for a second longer before looking away again and out onto the urban landscape.


	11. just a fucking dress

Tuesday, June 18th- 7:17 am

_"Where are we going?" asked Piper as she followed Alex down a darken alleyway. "I thought we were heading back to your place?"_

_It was the middle of the night and they had just come out of a club. Piper was tired and her feet were hurting from her heels. She just wanted to go home to bed but Alex had dragged her off somewhere._

_"We are...we are," replied Alex as she looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend and gave her a reassuring smile. "I just have to...meet Niko for a second." Her voice came out slightly strained. She was under a lot of pressure at the moment and this meeting with Niko was kinda of a big deal._

_"Who the hell is Niko?" asked Piper in frustration. She knew it had to do something with Alex's business but wasn't 100% sure. Alex kept everything about what she did for a living pretty sealed._

_"Just a...client," lied Alex, once again smiling at Piper._

_"Ugh, Alex!" cried out Piper suddenly as she pulled her hand away from Alex's and stopped abruptly. "You have been fucking doing business all night! I've hardly seen you! I want to fucking go home!" The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot like a four year old. She knew she was whining and being a bitch. But she didn't care. She wanted Alex's attention. It seemed like all Alex did nowadays was work and it was driving Piper up the wall._

_"Fuck's sake Pipes!" cried out Alex. Not being able to take it any longer. "Can you fucking stop thinking about what you want for a moment? And just be patient!? This will only take a minute and then we can go home, I promise!" Alex couldn't stand when Piper got like this. She knew she hadn't been around lately. But she was over her head in stress with the business. There were demands to be met and a low amount of supplies. She had gone to the club earlier for not only a business meeting of sorts but to found new mules, too. Niko, who was currently head of her ring wanted to meet and talk about the next drop off._

_The two women continued to stare at one each other for a moment longer. There was slight tension between them._

_However, Alex had promised Piper a night out and had failed. Her face softened after a moment as she enclosed the space between them. She reached out for Piper. "Baby," she whispered in a tender voice as she pressed a soft kiss to Piper's lips. "I promise, it'll be quick!"_

_Piper continued to look on at Alex with an icy gaze for a second longer before melting into Alex. She couldn't stay anger for too long. "You better!" she whispered before pulling Alex into another kiss._

_And if to prove a point, Alex slid her hands around the backside of Piper and down the waistband of her jeans as her tongue roughly parted open Piper's lips. The kiss quickly grew with passion and fire as they stood there lip-locked. Piper's hands pulled at Alex's hair, moaning softly into her throat as pleasure washed over her. Alex's hands were now fully down her pants and cupping each of her ass cheeks._

_All the anger and rage from before had withered away._

Piper was fast asleep when she felt a pair of lips press against her neck.

"Alex..." she murmured as the corners of her lips tugged upwards into a lazy smile.

"Who's Alex?" asked Larry in confusion.

Piper's eyes fluttered open immediately at this and looked up at Larry, who was towering over her. The smile disappeared quickly from her face as she continued to look at her fiancé with panic and confusion. Larry wasn't suppose to be home...not yet that was. She had been dreaming about a certain ex- girlfriend just a few moments ago.

"No one..." replied Piper as she slowly sat up in bed and smiled a weak smile at Larry.

Larry grinned back at her, "You were dreaming about Alex Trebak again...weren't you?"

Piper couldn't help but roll her eyes and laugh a little at Larry's lame joke. "Guilty!" she cried in a small singsong voice. If only, Larry knew how guilty she really felt about dreaming about a certain Alex. Her cheeks were flushed slightly as she thought back to the steamy dream she had been having.

A blanket of silence then fell over the couple for a moment as they both continued to stare at each other.

"I missed you," whispered Larry as he leaned in towards where Piper lay and brushed his lips against hers.

"I..I missed you too," whispered Piper as she pulled away from the kiss. "What are you doing home so early?" She asked as she tried to sit up and look over at the clock on the nightstand. "I thought you weren't coming back until the afternoon."

"Change of plans," replied Larry with a smile. "I caught an earlier flight out." His brown eyes were filled with adoration as he continued to stare down at her.

That look had once brought butterflies and gave her such joy but now it only made her feel guilty. Larry, didn't deserve this, she thought to herself as she continued to look at him. Her blue eyes searching his face.

He then leaned in and once again kissed her. This time it was more rough and urgent. He had one hand supporting his weight on the bed as his other one went to the side of her face. Piper sat there frozen, as she felt Larry's tongue slip into her mouth. A million thoughts raced through her mind at this.

She knew this was wrong that she needed to stop before Larry went any farther.

Piper's hands pressed against Larry's chest as she tried to push him away.

"Larry..." she murmured in between kisses. Her eyes were wide open as she once again made an attempt to get away from her fiancé.

However, Larry misread her touch.

His lips immediately began to attack the side of her neck as he pushed her down onto the bed and pressed himself up again her. "Piper..." he whispered back in between kisses. "How I've fucking missed you..."

Piper's heart raced with nerves and anxiety. She could feel the hardness of Larry's dick, rubbing against her thigh. She had once enjoyed sex with Larry. Loved it in fact. It wasn't intoxicating as sex with Alex. But it was still pretty satisfying. However, at this moment, she was finding it anything but. The inside of her mouth suddenly tasted like pennies.

"Larry!" her voice came out high- pitched and panicked as she snapped into motion and once again pushed at Larry's chest.

This time he got the message.

Larry immediately pulled away from Piper and looked on at her with a puzzled expression. He knew he said they would wait until their wedding night but he didn't see any harm in fooling around a bit. They had done it before.

"Sorry," murmured Piper, giving Larry an apologetic smile. She ran a hand through her blonde hair as she tried to think quickly of an excuse. "I missed you too and want to...just you know...morning breath!" It was a lame excuse and she knew it but it was the only thing she could think of.

Larry didn't look convinced by her answer but didn't push her on it. "Sure," he replied, a small smile appearing on her face at this. He then leaned in and pressed a kiss to Piper's forehead.

"Go back to sleep, sweetie," he whispered as he stood up. "I'm going to go shower."

Piper threw a pillow over her face and let out a groan as soon as Larry closed the bedroom door behind him. A mix of emotions coursed her through. She was feeling confused and unsure of everything at the moment. She loved Larry. She knew that.

But, her thoughts nowadays didn't linger too far from Alex.

It was a dangerous road she was walking down and she knew it.

She had never felt so torn between loving two people then she did at the moment. She wanted to be with Alex but didn't want to give up her life with Larry, either.

* * *

Alex sat up immediately as her eyes fluttered opened in a panic.

She didn't have a clue at first on where she was as her green eyes scanned around the room. She was in a foreign bedroom. She tried to think about the events of last night but all she could recall was drinking and smoking on the balcony of Nicky's apartment.

She didn't remember anything else.

"Fuck," she swore underneath her breath as she tried to figure out where she was. The room look vaguely familiar but she couldn't recall for sure, who's it was.

Alex continued to sit there for a moment, looking blindingly around the room. Then something caught her eye. It was a framed photo booth picture. She leaned in close to see it better.

It was of Nicky and Lorna.

It then dawned on her where she was.

She was in Nicky's bed.

"Fuck!" she swore again as she ran a hand through her long locks. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all, she thought to herself as she immediately began to push back the sheets of the bed and got to her feet. She was still fully closed except for her jeans. This was some what of a good sign, she thought to herself as she located her glasses on the nightstand and shoved them up the bridge of her nose.

It didn't take her that much longer to locate her jeans by the foot of the bed. She looked around the bedroom for any other belongings of hers but came up empty handed. She pursed her lips as she made her way out of the bedroom.

She couldn't help but smile at the sight that greeted her as she entered the open floor plan that made up the rest of Nicky's loft. Nicky was fast asleep on the couch, just a week ago, Alex had found herself on. The television was on in the background. It's picture flickering in the darken room.

It was not even eight in the morning yet.

Alex stood there for a second, debating to leave or not. She had work later on today and knew she should stop by her place to change.

Alex couldn't help but stiffen a yawn as she slowly then made her way towards the front door where she found not only her shoes but purse as well. A few moments later, she was out the door and heading to the streets.

* * *

As she entered her own apartment, she couldn't help but sigh. It seemed so long since she had been home. The last two days had been a mixture of drinking and staying over at other people's houses. First with Piper's on the Sunday night to now Nicky's last night. She was determined to make it a quiet night that night.

Alex's cell phone suddenly began to ring from her purse as she closed the apartment door behind her. She frowned slightly at who could possibly be calling her so early in the morning. She knew it wouldn't be work or Nicky.

She looked down at the display of her phone for a brief second before pressing the accept button on it.

"Hello?"

"Alex?! I'm sorry, did I awake you?"

Alex immediately smiled at hearing the sound of her mother's voice. No matter what she was doing or where she was, a call from her mother could always put a smile on her face. "Hey Ma!" she replied into the phone as she pressed the phone further against her ear as she began to make her way towards her bedroom.

"I was just going to leave a message on your voice mail. I didn't think you would be up so early," continued Suzy Vause on the other line.

"No, you didn't wake me. I'm just getting home now, actually," commented Alex as she took a seat on the edge of her bed. She couldn't help but laugh slightly at how bad that sounded.

"Oh!" was all her mother said in response.

Alex and her mother had always had a close relationship. She had been supportive of Alex when she had come out in high school. The lines of commutation were always open when it came to dating and the women that Alex was seeing. However, Alex hadn't seen anyone in a while.

Except for Piper.

But she couldn't possibly tell her mother that. Suzy had liked Piper but didn't approve how she had broken Alex's heart all those years ago. Alex knew her mother would be less then thrilled to hear that she was sleeping around or had been sleeping around with her ex.

"I spent the night at Nicky's," explained Alex, in hopes of clearly up the picture a little for her mother.

"Oh Allie! Please tell me you and Nicky aren't seeing each other again," replied Suzy, a tone of dread in her voice. "Don't get me wrong. Nicky is a nice girl. But remember what happened last time when you two were...involved with each other..." Alex's mom was implying about the time that Nicky and Alex had tried the whole dating thing with each other.

"Ma!" cried out Alex into the phone. She didn't know whether to laugh at this or feel embarrassed. Suzy had known Nicky just as long as Alex had known her. There had been a few times over the years that they had been caught in questionable circumstances by Suzy. "Me and Nicky are just friends. She's in a serious relationship now. We aren't _involved_ with each other...I just crashed at her place last night...that's it!"

"Okay good," replied Suzy. Alex could almost hear the relief in her voice at hearing this.

The line was silent for a second before Alex asked why her mother was calling. Suzy was away at the moment with her sister in California.

"Oh, I just was calling to tell you that I would be home by Friday and that you should drive up for the weekend," explained Suzy through her Jersey accent.

Alex was quiet for a second at this. It had been a while since she'd made a visit back home. She knew she should make a trip out there soon to visit her mom. But she couldn't help but feel a little unsure of this. She'd only been home twice since getting out of prison. She couldn't help but feel guilty when she was back in her hometown. How she had lied for years to her mom on what she did for a living. How she had disappointed her. She could still feel those old feelings of shame and guilt wash over her as she thought back to that phone call she had made to her mother after her arrest.

"I dunno, Ma," whispered Alex into the phone. "It's pretty busy at the studio at the moment. And there is this big wedding on Saturday that Marco is shooting for. I'll probably have to go with him and help out..." She knew it was a lame excuse but it wasn't that far from the truth. Marco did have a big wedding to shoot on Saturday. Piper's.

But she hadn't been asked to assist him yet. And she had no real intention too, either. She planned on staying far away from Piper from now on. Especially, this upcoming Saturday.

"Well, tell that Marco that you are _fucking_ busy! That your old Ma is back in town and wants her only child to come visit her!"

Alex couldn't help but laugh out loud at this. "I will see what I can do," she replied as she continued to smirk at what her mother had said. Her mom always knew how to make her smile.

* * *

Piper stared at herself in the dressing room mirror.

Everyone was waiting for her to come out and to show off her dress to them. But she found her feet were glued to the ground. She couldn't move. Her breathing was slightly labour as she continued to look at her appearance in the mirror. She didn't know what was going on with her.

This wasn't the first time she was seeing herself in the dress.

However, the dress was complete now.

There would be no more fittings or alterations to make.

It was ready for the big day.

She suddenly felt feverish as a cold sweat ran down her back. She didn't know how to explain it really. But she once again felt that taste of metal in her mouth. She felt like she was going to be sick.

Was this just simply cold feet? she thought to herself. The reality of the wedding was crashing down on her. In just four days, she would be Mrs. Larry Bloom. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this.

It was suddenly all too real for her to deal with.

She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. Her hands pinched at the skin of her arms hard. She couldn't freak out now. She'd waited too long for this to just bail out now. She shook her head violently from side to side as if to shake this feeling of dread from her mind.

"Pipes!?"

Piper's eyes immediately snapped open at this and looked over to the door.

"Pipes?" came Polly's voice again from the other side. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah!" cried back Piper, her voice coming out a little strained. "I will be out in a second."

"Okay," replied back Polly.

Piper continued to look at the door for a second longer before turning her attention back onto the mirror. She forced a smile on her face as she locked eyes with her reflection.

She could do this.

It was just a dress.

"It's just a fucking dress, Chapman!" she whispered to herself. "Get yourself together!"

However, it was so much more than just a dress and she knew it. It was a symbol for something so much more. It represented not only purity but being someone's bride. About saying "I do" and committing herself to one person for the rest of her life.

She tried to squish all her insecurities down her throat before finally opening the dressing room door and facing everyone.

A fake smile painted on her face.

* * *

_"Alex?"_

_Nicky knelt down beside Alex, who was slumped against the wall of the hallway. She placed a hand on Alex's shoulder, trying to gain her attention._

_"What happened?" asked out Nicky in deep concern. She had never seen Alex like this. So broken. The dark haired woman body was shaking as sobs rocked through her. Alex was a mess. Tears were streaming down her face, making her make-up run. "Did something happen with your mom?"_

_Alex shook her head violently from side to side at this as she lifted her head up and glanced over at Nicky. "No," she murmured through her tears. Her mom was still the same._

_"Then what?" asked Nicky, her dark eyes continued to pierce into Alex with worry. She wasn't going to stop asking until she found out the answer._

_"She left me," whispered out Alex. Her green eyes locking with Nicky's. "She fucking left me!" Her voice came out like ice as she repeated these words. "Just like that!"_

_Nicky's brows fussed together in confusion at this. She didn't know who Alex was talking about but after a moment, it dawned on her._

_"Chapman?!"_

_Alex didn't have to say anything in reply to this. The look on Alex's face said it all._

_"Fuck," swore Nicky as she ran a hand through her hair as took the seat beside Alex on the floor. The hallway was empty. It was just the two of them as Nicky wrapped her arm around Alex and brought her head to rest on her shoulder._

_There were a few people that Nicky hated in her life, her mom included. But at that moment, Piper trumped that list. She didn't know what had gone down to make the blonde suddenly leave and basically abandon Alex. But once, she saw Piper again, she would surely give her a piece of her fucking mind._

"Alex!" cried out Nicky. "earth to Alex!"

Alex's green eyes fluttered open at this and up at Nicky. She smiled sheepishly as she rubbed one of her eyes. "Sorry," she murmured with embarrassment.

Nicky just smirked and shook her head slightly. "Are you ready to go, sleeping beauty?" she asked as she leaned against the door frame.

Alex stretched her arms above her head and nodded as a yawn escaped from her lips. She was at Nicky's small office space. She had just been finishing up a long day at the studio when she had gotten a text from Nicky about going out for drinks tonight. Alex had then met up with Nicky at her own work. She didn't remember falling asleep as she waited for her friend to finish editing but she must have dosed off for a bit, she figured.

Nicky couldn't help but chuckle again as Alex rose to her feet from the plush leather chair. The two women had plans to meet up with Big Boo for drinks.

Alex didn't know it yet but they were going to a dyke bar. Nicky was tired of seeing Alex mope around about Piper. Piper was a nice girl but was unavailable to Alex in all ways. And personally, Nicky thought that Alex deserved better. She needed a girl that treated her right.

This was what tonight was about. Finding the Mrs. Vause. Alex was in for a big surprise, thought Nicky as she smirked as the two of them left the office and headed towards the bar.

Alex was deep in thought as she followed Nicky to her car.

Nicky was the only person she knew that dared to drive in the city. Alex thought her friend was insane but Nicky marched to her own drum. Plus, she was use to driving everywhere now, since she spent half the time in LA. She was too use to depending on her car then any other mode of transportation.

However, that was not what Alex was thinking about. She still had a certain blonde on her mind. She hadn't heard from Piper since yesterday. She wasn't totally surprised by this. That fiancé of hers was back in town.

But she had at least been hoping from a text, just saying _Hey_. She knew she was acting crazy and she hated herself for it.

But it had always been like this with Piper.

The blonde just had a way over her that no one else had. Alex didn't usually let people walk over her, the way she allowed Piper too. There was just something about Piper that made Alex melt.

She was impossible to resist.

From day one it had been a go.

Alex had fallen for Piper quickly and hard. She had never loved anyone like she had loved her. And she still fucking loved her. Even after eight years of being apart. Even after being completely abandoned and heart broken by Piper. She still fucking loved her.

Piper Chapman was like a drug.

Just one hit and she left you craving more.

That's how Alex felt now. She wanted Piper but knew she was bad for her. That she couldn't have her. But that just made her want her even more.

Alex knew she shouldn't be going out that night. That she really needed to lay off drinking for the next couple of days and clear her head. But at the same time, she was happy that Nicky had invited her out. She couldn't stand the thought of spending the entire night alone in her apartment.

Just her and her thoughts.

Just like when she was in Litchfield.


	12. call me bethany

Tuesday, June 18th- 10:29 pm

Piper let out a sigh as she rested her chin on the palm of her hand and looked up at the ceiling.

She was bone tired and just wanted to go home. After her dress fitting, she'd been dragged out for dinner at her future in-laws house. She pretended to be listening as Howard Bloom talked about the current case he was working on. But she just found her mind going to other places.

Alex was still on her mind.

Piper found she could never really pay attention to whatever Howard Bloom said. She liked Larry's mother, Amy but Howard was a difficult man she found. She wasn't really sure that he liked her. She always got the feeling that he was looking down at her in some way.

"Larry," she whispered as she placed an hand on Larry's shoulder, drawing her fiancé attention.

Larry turned in his seat to look at her at this.

Piper smiled at him before leaning forward. "Can we go home? I'm a little tired..." she stiffened a yawn as her blue eyes appeared at him.

He returned the smile before nodding his head in agreement, "Okay."

It was getting a little late.

"Well...dad that's a great story but I think me and Pipes are going to head out. It's getting a little late," spoke Larry to his father as he pushed back his chair and helped Piper out of her seat.

Howard looked up at his son and nodded his head before glancing over at the clock on the wall. He removed his glasses and folded them into the pocket of his shirt before pushing back his own chair. He glanced over at Piper before calling for his wife, "AMY! Piper and Larry are leaving!"

Just then a short woman that resembled Larry appeared in the joining archway of the kitchen. "Already?" asked Amy Bloom with a slight New York accent. Her brown eyes looked between her son and Piper and back.

"Yes, Ma. It's already 10:30," replied Larry with a chuckle as he enclosed the space between him and where his mother stood. He leaned forwarded and kissed the side of her cheek.

"Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Bloom," spoke Piper as she came up beside Larry and smiled at her future mother-in-law.

"Oh dear, call me Ma!" cried Amy Bloom in response. "It's only a few more days now." There was a wide grin on the older woman's face as she continued to peer at Piper.

A slight feeling of guilt spread through the pit of Piper's stomach at this as her cheeks flushed slightly as she continued to look on a Larry's mother. However, she quickly squished them away and smiled.

"I know...can you believe it?" replied Larry as he looped his arm around Piper's waist and pulled her close to his side. His eyes fell onto Piper briefly. A look of devotion appearing on his face for a second before looking back onto his mother.

"In just a few days, we'll be calling you, Mrs. Bloom!" joked Larry, once again looking back at Piper.

A nervous laugh escaped from Piper at this in return.

* * *

Alex didn't remember the girl's name that was currently shoving her tongue down her throat.

They had just met over an hour ago but Alex had consumed a lot of alcohol since then and her memory was a little foggy. She thought the girl's name started with a B.

But she wasn't an 100% sure on the matter.

Alex felt her hands move and cup the back of this B girl's head. Alex had her back pressed painfully up against some wall while this girl's continued to tongue fuck her.

Alex felt like she was just going through the motions. Her mind was unattached to the rest of her body.

As things continued to get hot and heavy, Alex tried to remember every little detail leading up to this moment. She recalled arriving at the bar with Nicky and Big Boo. She remembered taking a shot or two. Well, to be honest, it was a little more then two shots they had done. It was about five that Alex remember solidly. After that point, she'd stopped counting. She remembered dancing with a few girls out on the dance floor of the bar as a live band played.

She remembered flirting with one girl in particular.

She believed it was the same B girl now, who was doing some wonderful things with her mouth.

Brittany?

No, that's not it.

Alex squeezed her eyes as she felt the girl mouth leave her own and began to attack the side of her neck. Alex's heart was pounding loudly against her chest as she opened and closed her mouth, taking deep breaths.

Bree?

Brianna?

Bridget?

Alex moaned out slightly as she felt the hands of this stranger roughly paw at her left breast. A feeling of warmth spread like fire through her veins. She hadn't done this for a while, hooking up with a complete stranger. But at the moment, it all felt okay. It felt good to feel a foreign touch on her burning skin.

It felt liberating.

Exciting.

Alex opened her eyes briefly and found a pair of striking blue eyes staring right back at her.

"Hi there," whispered this beautiful creature before her. Alex's eyes traveled down the scope of her nose to her mouth where it spread upwards into a smile. Alex found herself smiling drunkenly back.

"Hi," she murmured back.

It then dawned on her what this girl's name was.

Bethany.

A frown suddenly appeared on Alex's face at this. Her stomach felt like it was twisting its self into a knot as a thought filled her mind that she couldn't shake. She felt like she was going to be sick as she pushed passed this Bethany person and made her way into the near by bathroom of the bar.

She heard her name be called out but she ignored it as she pushed opened the bathroom door and practically ran into the nearest stall. She could feel the bile rising up her throat as she fell to her knees in front of the toilet seat.

She was violently sick to her stomach a moment later.

_"Call me Bethany," whispered Piper into Alex's ear._

_"Bethany?!"_

_"Call me Bethany," repeated Piper as she pressed her lips to Alex's and straddled her hips at the same time. Piper wanted to role play._

_"Bethany..." murmured Alex, trying out the name on her tongue._

_She liked it._

_"Bethany," she whispered again with a smirk as she looked up at Piper for a brief second before their lips met._

_No other words were exchanged as the kiss slowly deepened._

_It was the middle of the day and they were in Piper's bedroom. She was suppose to be studying but Alex was only in town for a day and she wanted to make the most of it._

* * *

A cool breeze brushed up against Piper's bare arms as she followed Larry out of his parents' house. She felt surprising calm and happy at the moment.

Despite the dark cloud of the wedding loaming over her shoulders and her melt down earlier in the dressing room. She closed her eyes and breathed in the earthy scent of the air. It had just finished raining. The air still clung heavily of its scent. She always loved the smell after it rained. It reminded her of her childhood. Of summer time.

It always had a way of making her feel calm and safe.

She smiled warmly at Larry as he stopped and turned to face her, waiting for her to catch up.

He returned the smile as he held out his hand for her.

She hesitated slightly for a second but took it in the end. She found herself holding her breath as Larry leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips before they resumed walking down the street towards the subway.

She didn't know how to describe how she was feeling at the moment.

She hadn't seen or talked to Alex over the pass day. Alex had ended it in some way but there was still a nagging feeling at the back of Piper's mind. That she had a decision to make of sorts. She knew she should take this no communication from Alex as a sign to move on and put it all passed her. That she should be using all her energy to focus on her upcoming nuptials.

However, she found that she couldn't put it all behind her.

She wanted Alex.

No matter how she tried not too. She couldn't help herself. She wanted Alex. Mind, body and soul. She desired her so badly. Desired her like she had never desired anything before.

These thoughts continued to swirl at the back of her mind as she walked along side Larry.

* * *

An unpleasant expression appeared on Alex's face as she stepped out of the bar and onto the quiet night street. Her mouth tasted awful as she ran her tongue over her top row of teeth. She automatically reached for the pack of cigarettes tucked into the back of her jeans as she walked a few feet away from the entrance of the bar before stopping.

A few moments passed as she pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it, pocketing the rest. She closed her eyes briefly as she slumped her shoulders and leaned against the window front of a store.

A feeling of relief watched over her as she blew a ring of smoke out the side of her mouth.

She had no idea where Nicky and Big Boo were. She'd seemed to have lost both of them. However, she hadn't made much of an effort to find either of them as she had made her way through the bar towards the door. She had no idea where that Bethany girl had went off too either. When she'd merged from the bathroom, the hallway had been empty. Alex didn't really care much if she had pissed off the girl or not.

She just felt like going home.

Alex wasn't thinking about much as she finished off her cigarette. She was just thinking about how she would get home. She was in the middle of Queens. She had gotten here by Nicky. She thought about calling her friend but previously remembered her phone had died of battery soon after arriving at the bar. She debated about going back into the bar to find the short blonde or just find her own way home.

She could either take a taxi or walk the short block to the subway. A taxi she knew would be quicker but more expansive than the subway. She took one last puff of her cigarette as she considered each option. Just as she was flicking the remainder of her cigarette down onto the pavement and extinguishing it with the tip of her boot a certain blonde and her fiancé caught her eye.

"You got to be fucking kidding me!" whispered Alex out loud to herself as she continued to look across the street to where Piper and Larry stood. They hadn't noticed her yet.

They were standing close together, waiting to cross the street.

Despite herself, Alex found being jealous as she watched from a distance as Larry wrapped his arms around Piper and slid his hands slightly down her ass.

She wished it was her touching the blonde, looking deeply into her eyes...Alex imaged herself raising a hand and gently brushing her hair to the side to press a kiss to Piper's neck. Piper would smile that shy smile of hers in return at this. Trying to push her away. Pretending to be bother by Alex's public affection but both knowing that she loved it. This would just make Alex hold Piper even closer to her. One hand grasping at her ass cheek while the other clung to her waist. She would smirk at Piper before once again kissing the exposed side of her neck. This time she would suck on the skin harder than last time. It would leave a slight mark. Piper could cry out her name in shock at this. She would try to be upset but her laughter would show through her voice. Alex would once again look up at her again and smile. She would raise her eyebrows seductively at the blonde. They would both continue to gaze deeply into each other eyes for a second longer before either sharing a kiss or breaking apart completely...

As Alex continued to stand there lost in her own little world, she didn't see the couple approach her. It was only when she locked eyes with Piper from a few feet away, did she snap out of her daydream.

Piper was almost at the curve of the sidewalk when she stopped dead in her tacks, allowing for her hand to slip out of Larry's. She was now standing in the middle of the road, gawking at Alex in utter shock.

She stood there for a good second or two before the sound of a car hawking brought her back to reality. The light had now changed and she was about to be run over if she didn't move soon. She let out a small yelp in surprise as she tore her eyes away from Alex and towards the car. She mouthed an apology to the angry driver before running the last two feet to the sidewalk.

She could feel Larry's eyes on her but she avoided his glaze. She could feel he wanted her to explain her strange behaviour, but she couldn't tell him that her ex was standing just merely a few feet away.

Piper found herself walking passed Larry and towards Alex. She could feel the pounding of her heart as she enclosed the space between them. She had no idea what she was going to say or do as the heels of her shoes clicked against the pavement and she stopped a foot away from where Alex stood.

Alex cocked an eyebrow at Piper. She was just as surprised as Piper was to see her. Neither spoke for a good moment as they continued to get lost in each other eyes and the shock wore off.

"Alex," whispered out Piper, breaking the awkward silence between them. Her palms and the back of her neck were sweating as a wave of nerves fluttered suddenly in the pit of her stomach. She opened her mouth to say more but quickly closed it. She didn't know what to say.

Alex crossed her arms over her chest and frowned as she looked passed Piper at this and glanced over at Larry, who was now standing beside Piper.

Piper followed Alex's gaze and turned her head to look at her fiancé.

"Pipes. Who's this?" He asked looking over to Alex. He'd never seen Alex before and was confused as hell at what was going on.

Piper's eyes widened slightly as she looked on at Larry. She didn't know quite how to introduce Alex to him. She bit down nervously on her lower lip as she continued to look between Alex and Larry and back. Both were looking on at Piper, waiting for her to introduce them.

"Um..." murmured Piper in response.

Larry looked on at Piper with confusion for a second before turning his attention to Alex. "Hey, I'm Larry. Piper's fiancé," he spoke with warmth as he held out his hand towards Alex.

Alex narrowed her eyes slightly at Larry's introduction. She hadn't been expecting any of this. The corner of her mouth twitched slightly before she leaned forward and shook Larry's hand.

"Hey. Alex," she replied, nodding her head in acknowledgement. She didn't give any explanation of who she was or how she knew Piper.

An awkward silence then feel over the trio before Piper found her voice again. "Alex is an old... friend from college..." she explained nervously as she looked over at Larry. She could feel Alex's eyes on her but she tried not to look at her. She knew that Alex would be upset to be described as a friend. But Larry had no knowledge of her pass with a woman and that's how she wanted it to stay. Larry knew her ex was named Alex. But she hadn't gone on to explain the gender. Larry had just assumed that Alex was an he and Piper hadn't corrected him on the matter.

Larry nodded his head slowly in understanding as he wrapped as arm once again around Piper's waist and pulled her close. This gesture wasn't lost on Alex as she continued to look coldly between the couple.

She was too drunk for all this, she thought to herself. A mix of emotions were coursing through her body at that moment. She was pissed off at Piper at the way she was just sliding their past together as a simple friendship when they both knew it had been so much more. She was also pissed off at Larry and how he was faulting his relationship with Piper at the moment, in her face. Even know she knew, he had no idea of his fiancée past with her. She was also mad at how stupid Larry seemed to be. That he was not able to pick up on the tension between her and Piper.

Did he really not see the connection between them?

Was he that blind?

"Come on Piper," spoke Alex. "We were a lot more than friends..." Her voice trailed off slightly as a smirk appeared on her face. She knew it was mean of her but she couldn't help herself. She was drunk and wanted Piper to squirm. Despite the protesting of her heart, she wanted Piper to pay. She wanted revenge suddenly for how Piper had left her all those years ago at the hospital.

"Alex!" whispered out Piper in warning. Her eyes were suddenly wide and begging for Alex not to say anything else.

However, Alex ignored her.

"You see Larry," continued on Alex with a look of mischief playing on her face."We. Were. _Lovers_." Her green eyes danced between Larry and Piper.

The smile that had been on Larry's face just a mere seconds ago had withered into a thin line. His brown eyes looked on at Alex in puzzlement before turning to Piper. He didn't know what to say to this.

"Pipes?" he whispered but Piper pay no attention to him. Her focus was on Alex. There was a look of hurt and shock on Piper's face as she continued to stare at Alex. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't believe what Alex had just done. She hadn't spilled the beans of their recent affaire but it was still just as bad. Larry had no clue of her past. And it wouldn't look too good now that he was finding it out just mere days before they were to be married.

They had always promised that they would be honest with each other and not keep anything from the other, no matter how difficult it would be. But here she was doing just that. She could feel the rage bubbling inside of her at the cocky smirk on Alex's face.

Fuck her, thought Piper to herself. Her blue eyes darkened with annoyance towards the other woman before flashing towards Larry, who was still waiting for an explanation of sorts.

"Larry," she began nervously tucking her hair behind her ears and smiling reassuringly at him. "Alex is just teasing. We were never lover. We...maybe kissed at most while drunk one night...but that's it..." She knew she was lying through her teeth but again, Larry didn't need to know all the details. She laugh nervously as she looked up into his face. Her eyes searching for a answer.

Larry's face suddenly broke out into a smile, "Pipes, don't worry about it. We all did stupid things when we were drunk and young."

Piper couldn't help but smile in relief at this.

Alex bit down on her tongue as this. She was in a state of disbelief that her tasket hadn't worked. That Piper was just making it seem like she was joking. "Well..." stated Alex as she ran a hand through her hair. "It was nice meeting you Larry. "

She knew this was her moment to leave before she did anything else.

Larry smiled back at Alex, "It was nice meeting you too, Alex."

Alex did not return the smile fully. Only one corner of her mouth curved upwards as her eyes linger on Larry for a second. She was done being nice really. She turned slowly and looked over at Piper. Her green eyes pierced intensely into her blue ones. Neither spoke a word as they glanced at one another.

There were so many things that Alex wanted to say but found that she couldn't.

"Congrats kid," she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't dare to reach out and touch Piper. She knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to stop. A small smile appeared on her lips before she turned and began to walk back to the bar.

Alex's eyes were suddenly moist as emotion rocked through her body. She was suddenly overcome with sadness.

She needed another drink or two.

Piper just watched as Alex left.

She wanted to call out after to her. To throw her arms around her and hold her. She hated that look of sadness edged on Alex's face. She had seen it once before, and she hated that it was her fault again for it being there. She found herself chewing on her lower lip, torn between going after her and staying. A mix of emotion raced through her body as she felt Larry take her hand into his own. She nodded her head as she heard him say something but couldn't make out the words.

Her attention was still on the door of the bar that Alex had just disappeared behind.


	13. i loved you

Wednesday, June 19th- 6:22 am

Piper's feet pounded against the sidewalk with each thud of the music blaring into her eardrums. It was the early hours of the morning and she was out for a run in Central Park. She wasn't usually up this early but she couldn't sleep from the events of last night.

After going home with Larry, Piper couldn't get the guilt out of her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about how she had left Alex. How she was lying not to only herself but Larry too, on who Alex really was. She knew she was being a bitch. But she felt like her life was some what unravelling all around her and she didn't know what to do.

She was afraid to tell Larry about her past with Alex. She couldn't afford to lose him. He was the only stable thing in her life at the moment it felt like.

Yes, she had a job.

Her own business with her best friend, but it wasn't the most stable income. Sales were low at the moment and the contract with Barney's still hadn't gone through yet. It wasn't what she wanted, anymore. After seeing how successful Nicky was with her career in the film business and directing; she realized she wanted more. She wanted to be back in the arts and have a purpose in life. It use to give her such joy to write and create stories, watching them come alive on stage.

She craved for that joy again.

That creative outlet again.

She turned up the volume on her iPod as she ran further down the path. The sun was just peaking out over the tree tops now as she continued on her run. Running always helped clear her head. Piper knew that Larry would be worried about her after waking up to the empty side of the bed. But she just needed to get out of the apartment and be on her own for a bit.

She had wanted to tell Larry everything about Alex last night. That they had done a lot more than kiss. That she had once in fact been the love of her life. But she was scared. She knew she should be honest with Larry but she was afraid that he would leave her. She couldn't afford to be alone.

She needed him in away.

Piper knew she was being selfish.

She had long ago realized that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. But that was what she wanted. She couldn't seem to see straight. She wanted both Larry and Alex. She loved them both for different reasons.

However, she could only have one.

And she needed to make a decision soon.

The wedding was just a few days away now.

Piper ignored the protest of her muscles as she continued to run along the park path. She was pushing herself harder then she normally would that morning.

She felt like somehow her mind was going around in circles. Listing both the pros and cons on Larry and Alex. She knew she wouldn't be having any of these doubts if she hadn't ran into Alex. That if a week ago now, she hadn't seen her ex again. She would be excited and looking forward to Saturday. That she would be looking forward to marrying Larry. To finally ending one chapter in her life and starting a new one.

However, she wasn't looking forward to the wedding. She was terrified to get married now. She was doubting her feelings for Larry. She knew that she loved him but she wasn't sure if she was _in_ -love with him, anymore.

She knew at one point that she had really loved him. You didn't stick around with one person for five years, if you didn't. When she'd first met Larry, she hadn't been looking for a relationship. She had been 26 when she'd met him at Polly's. He had been house sitting while Polly and Pete were away on holiday. They had flirted and dance around each other for a year before they had really started dating. Or Piper had finally given in to Larry constant asking her out. And after that, things had moved quickly between them. Just after three months of dating, they'd gotten an apartment together. Piper had fallen for Larry and his sweetness. He wasn't her usual type but she had given him a chance. After nagging from Polly and her mother like usual to settle down, she had given in. But she had been happy that she had. Larry was what she had needed at the time. He would go out if she wanted but would be perfectly happy staying in and binge watching Weeds, too.

And it was most likely the last one with them.

* * *

Alex's brain pounded against her skull as she stepped out into the quiet street.

She had once again found herself walking up in a bed that wasn't her own. She groaned slightly as a wave of pain shot through her temples. She defiantly had to lay off the drinking for a while, she thought to herself.

This was like the fifth time this week she had woken up hung over.

After going back into the bar, Alex hadn't been able to find Bethany again. But she found Danielle instead.

And she was now currently doing the walk of shame.

Her head continued to throb with each step she took against the pavement of the sidewalk. After waking up just a few minutes ago, she had quickly gotten dressed and fled Danielle's apartment. She hated the awkward morning after part of one night stands.

Alex was glad it was her day off and was looking forward to spending the whole day in the comforts of her own bed.

Alex knew she was too old to be doing the things she was doing. She would be 35 soon. She knew she couldn't keep going down the path she was leading. But after everything she had gone through at Litchfield and basically having to start over her life again.

And now with everything with Piper.

She felt like she didn't know herself anymore. She knew what she wanted but didn't know how to achieve it. She had once knew what she wanted and had gone after it. She had once been so confident, but now she only felt lost. Like a dark cloud was looming over her.

She lied to her mom and told her everything was great with her.

But in reality it wasn't.

She had a crappy job and she was alone.

Everyone seemed to be going places but her. Nicky had a successful career and a girlfriend. Big Boo taught yoga now and was training a puppy to be a guide dog. Piper had her own business and was getting married. Even Mercy had found work and love after leaving Litchfield.

Alex knew it could be worse. That she still had family and friends around her. Her mom was still a big part of her life and was her main support system. She had a great group of friends: Nicky, Big Boo and even Lorna. Her job wasn't so bad. She enjoyed it most of the time, especially when she got to take the photos herself.

But it still didn't take the pain that linger in her heart. The pain that had been there for eight years.

There was still something missing from her life.

Piper.

She wanted her.

She fucking loved her but she couldn't have her. And she wasn't sure if she ever would. Piper had a fiancé. And she wouldn't be the other woman. She wanted Piper fully to herself.

She'd never been good with sharing anyways.

However, as much as she wanted Piper. She wasn't sure if it would be good for them to be together again as a couple. Yes, screwing around had been amazing. But she wasn't sure about having a full fledged relationship together. First, yes Piper was with someone else. But secondly, Piper had fled when things had gotten rough. The blonde wasn't good with dealing things when under pressure. Alex was afraid that if given enough time, Piper would leave her again.

They were both two different people sometimes. Alex didn't like to have every little detail of her life planned down to the minute. Sure she liked to know where she was heading but she rather live in the present for the most part and not worry about the future. While Piper on the other hand, needed a five year plan. She wasn't as carefree as Alex was. That's what Alex knew was holding Piper back from leaving Larry.

She was afraid to free fall through life and just live.

Alex wished she could just cut off Piper.

To cut off these deep feelings for her, but she couldn't. When it came to Piper everything in her just melted. She didn't know how to describe it, but there was just something about Piper that she couldn't shake.

Every since a week ago when Piper had come back into her life, she couldn't stop thinking about something her mother had told her once. That when you have a connection with someone it never really goes away.

_"Alex, I wish you would really stop smoking," lectured Suzy as she placed a cup of coffee down in front of Alex before taking the seat opposite of her._

_Alex was back in New Jersey visiting for a few days. Alex looked up at her mother with surprise. She opened her mouth slightly to protest. How could her mother know she was smoking again? She hadn't lit up since arriving back at home._

_"Oh don't look all surprise, Allie," continued on her mother as she reached for her own mug of coffee."You practically reeked of smoke when you came in last night."_

_Alex just glared at her mother like she was sixteen again. She then perched her lips as she looked into the contents of the mug in front of her. She had promised her mother she would stop smoking, but no matter how hard she tried to kick the habit, she couldn't._

_"I'm sorry, Ma," she whispered suddenly feeling guilty and a shamed as she looked back up at her mother._

_Suzy slowly lowered her mug and placed it down on the surface of the kitchen table. Her green eyes smiled back at her daughter as she lifted a hand to touch the back of her hair. It was just growing back in and was just about an inch short. Her other hand went out to touch Alex's. She smiled reassuringly at her. She wasn't upset._

_Alex slowly returned the smile._

_A silence then fell over mother and daughter briefly as they sat there continuing to drink their coffees._

_"So, how are you really doing?" asked Suzy, cutting to the chase. Alex rarely came home to visit unless it was a holiday or something was bothering her._

_Alex didn't say anything at first as she shrugged her shoulders and ran a finger around the rim of the mug. She avoided her mother's eye. The last couple of months had been a little rough to say the least for her. Not only was she still smoking but had turned to drugs to numb the constant pain in her heart. However, her mother didn't know that one. Just that she was still deeply heartbroken over Piper._

_It had been just over four months since Piper had broken her heart. And just three, since her mother had been in remission. Two weeks after Piper had left...two weeks of hell, Suzy had gotten cancer free. It had been touch and go for a while for her but by some miracle, things had turned around for her and that was great._

_Alex had been so happy to hear that the cancer was completely gone._

_There was still a chance it would come back but for now, it was gone._

_Alex had been so overjoyed to hear this that she had even picked up the phone to dial Piper's number to tell her the good news. However, she hadn't been home. Alex had only gotten the maid at Piper's mother's house, where she was suppose to be staying. Or so Nicky had told her. Shortly after graduation, Piper had moved out of the apartment her and Nicky had shared for the last year. The maid had been the one to inform Alex that Piper was off in Europe at the moment. Alex hadn't left a message._

_"I'm..." Alex's voice trailed off as she tried to think of an answer. She wasn't honestly doing any better then a couple of months ago. Everyday she missed the blonde. She tried to move pass it but she couldn't. Piper had abandoned her and she couldn't get over the shock of it still._

_No one had broken her heart quite like that before._

_"Look Allie," spoke Suzy in a tender voice. "I'm not going to say you should go after the girl. Because to be fucking honest, I think you can do better than her. And if I ever saw her...I would probably kick her WASPy ass!"_

_Alex couldn't help but smile a little at this. This wasn't the first time her mother had threatened to kick someone's ass for her._

_"But I do know also that you loved her. And to be honest, that she loved you too. You...had a connection...a connection that most people don't get to have."_

_"Ma, where are you going with this?" asked Alex, suddenly pissed off. She didn't want to talk about the connection she had once had with Piper. Her supposed once great love._

_"Just hear me out," spoke Suzy._

_Alex just glared at her mother at this. She didn't know where her mother was going with all this. And she wasn't really sure if she wanted to hear it._

_"Look, all I am saying is that when you have a connection with someone it never really goes away. And I think when Piper did what she fucking did...she was scared. As much as she fucking hurt you and I hate her skinny ass for it...I think she really did love you. I saw it. And maybe I'm full of crap and have lost my edge but...one day, I think you will forgive her."_

_Alex just glared at her mother like she had grown three heads. Ever since the cancer, her mother had gotten soft. She was still the bad ass Suzy Vause she had grown up with. But at the same time, her mother had changed a little. She was softer when it came to others and forgiveness._

_"Piper will come back into your life one way or another...maybe not soon but one day, I think she will. Because when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away. You snap back to being important to each other because you still are." Suzy's eyes locked on at Alex, searching her face for an answer. She couldn't tell really if Alex was upset or not at what she had just said._

* * *

Piper wasn't really paying attention to where she was going as her feet continued to pound the sidewalk. Her music was blaring loudly in to her ears as her thoughts continued to think about Larry and Alex.

She hadn't noticed that she was out of Central Park now and on the street.

It wasn't until she turned the corner that she ran straight into someone. Her right shoulder smacked into the other's left one. The impact was hard and knocked them both to the ground.

"For fuck's sake!" cried out Alex as she landed hard on her ass. A sudden pain spread through the lower half of her body at this. She was suddenly pissed off. This was not what she needed this morning, she thought as she quickly rose to her feet and looked over at the jackass, who had knocked her down.

However, her anger didn't linger for long as she took in the sight of Piper.

"Alex," whispered Piper in realization as she pulled out her earbubs from her ears.

"I'm so sorry!" She apologized quickly to the brunette.

Alex just continued to stare at Piper.

Her green eyes lingered on her face for a second before traveling down her body. It was the first time she was noticing how very little clothing Piper had on. Piper was drenched in sweat, making her white t-shirt cling to her torso. She had a pair of very small mint green running shorts on that displayed a pair of long toned legs.

Alex couldn't help but feel immediately turned on by Piper's sweaty appearance.

"Alex!?" whispered out Piper in concern. A moment had passed and Alex had yet to answer her. She was afraid that Alex had hit her head or something by the vacant expression on her face. "Alex?" she whispered again taking a small step towards her.

It wasn't until she felt Piper's hand on her bare arm that Alex snapped out of her trans. She immediately took a small step back as her eyes shot back up to Piper's face.

"Sorry," apologized Piper as she automatically pulled her hand away from Alex. She had clearly upset Alex by touching her.

"It's okay," murmured back Alex.

Alex could feel the warmth in her cheeks at being caught looking at Piper. She perched her lips as she locked eyes with Piper. An awkward silence then fell between as they continued to look on at each other nervously.

They once again didn't know how to act around one another.

Piper tugged her hair out of her face as her heart pounded against her chest. Her music could still be heard buzzing from the earbubs that dangled from her hands, but she made no movement to turn off the music. Her focus was on Alex.

They continued to stand their in silence for a moment longer before Alex broke it, "So...out for a run?"

"Um, yeah," replied Piper. "Couldn't sleep...ya know." She raised her shoulders slightly at this. She felt very self conscious at the moment underneath Alex's gaze.

Alex nodded her head slowly in understanding at this. She remembered clearly how Piper always went out for runs when she needed to think.

Another blanket of silence fell over them again at this. Piper wanted to ask Alex what she was doing out at this early hour but was afraid too. It wasn't her place to step. Especially, since last night. A feeling of guilt suddenly filled the pit of her stomach at this. She knew Alex had been upset last night. She had practically thrown it in Alex's face that she had been nothing to her when they both knew that was complete lie. She loved Alex. She had been a major part of her life. And she knew she couldn't keep running from it. From this person she was trying to cover up.

She at least owed Alex an apology.

"Look Alex, I'm sorry," she stated in a clear voice. She wanted Alex to hear this. "I'm sorry for what...I said last night...about us...about you just being a friend to me. Because, you weren't just a friend..." Her blue eyes pierced into Alex, waiting for her to say something.

"Hell, I don't think we were ever just friends." A smile appeared on Piper's face as she remembered back to how her and Alex had met and fell quickly for one another.

Alex couldn't help but smile at this, "No, I don't think we were."

"I loved you," whispered Piper as her blue eyes stared intensely at Alex. "I should have told Larry about us but...I..." Her voice trailed off. She was suddenly embarrassed and didn't know what to say to Alex. She didn't know how to describe what she was feeling currently for her. To explain this desire that came over her whenever she was in the raven haired beauty's presence.

"It's okay, kid," whispered Alex in reply. She wanted to stay mad at Piper but found that she couldn't. She knew that this situation wasn't easy for her.

"We're...okay?" asked Piper, nervous to hear the answer.

Alex nodded her slowly at this. "We're okay," she whispered, a slight smile playing on her face. And it wasn't a lie. Yes, she had been upset. Yes, she wanted to be with Piper. But she didn't want to lose her again. Yes, they had never really been friends before but what was to say they couldn't be this time?

Piper found herself returning the smile.

"So..." spoke Alex, suddenly overcome with nerves as she shoved her hands into the front pocket of her jeans.

"So..." replied back Piper.

"I guess...I will see you around then?"

Piper nodded her head at this. She didn't want to see Alex leave but there was nothing else really to say to each other.

"Bye kid," whispered Alex as she took a small step towards Piper.

Piper found herself holding her breath as she locked eyes with Alex, who face was just a mere inches from her own.

Alex couldn't help but smile at Piper's nerves. Her green eyes lingered on Piper's eyes before slowly traveling down to her lips. She desperately wanted to kiss them but knew it would only lead to trouble. So, instead she aimed for her cheek.

Piper closed her eyes in anticipation to what she sensed was to come, only to leave her disappointed. Her eyes fluttered open in surprise as she felt Alex's lip leave her.

Alex just smile sadly at her before stepping away and leaving Piper standing there on the corner.


	14. fucking friends now or something

Thursday, June 20th- 2:37 pm

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" asked Piper towards Polly.

"A bad person?" asked back Polly in confusion.

"Yeah, do you think I'm a bad person?"

"Where the fuck is all this coming from?" asked Polly as she continued to gawk at her friend, waiting for an answer of sorts. "You are not a bad person Pipes. You have never been to jail or anything like that."

Piper was silent for a moment as she looked on at Polly, who was slowly loading the dishwasher. They had just come from the wedding venue which was located at the Brooklyn Winery. They were having both the ceremony and reception there. Her mother was less then thrilled that she wasn't getting married in a church. But She didn't want the traditional wedding. Plus, Larry was Jewish. They both agreed there would be no religious parts in their wedding.

"Pol, just because someone goes to prison, doesn't make them a bad person," began to explain Piper in response to what her friend had said. She was immediately thinking of Alex who had spent time in prison. Yes, Alex had made some bad decisions in her life and her career path but that didn't make her a bad person. "We all make bad choices. Some just have different bad choices to make."

Polly just frowned at Piper at this. "Okay," she answered not really sure where Piper was going with it, "Sure, we all make bad choices..."

"I'm just saying that we all at one point in our life had made a bad decision that we wish we could take back," Piper's voice trailed off slightly as she tried to think of the best way of describing her situation without giving too much away to Polly.

"Oh My GOD! Is this about Supercunt again? And that fucking kiss?!" cried out Polly in outrage. "Are you thinking about telling Larry? Because I don't think that would be a wise idea Pipes. Especially two days before you are suppose to be getting married!"

"No, this isn't just about the kiss," replied Piper as she ran a hand through her hair. She was suddenly frustrated at her friend.

The two women were silent for a second before Piper once again tried, "Do you think I'm a bad person for leaving Alex while her mom was in the hospital?"

Polly looked up from where she was loading up the dishwasher and over at Piper. She just stared at the blonde for a second. She wasn't sure where all this was suddenly coming from. Yes, Piper had felt extremely guilty after she had ended with Alex all those years ago but who didn't feel guilty after a break up. But Piper had gotten over it. She didn't understand why she was bringing it up now. "Where is this coming from Pipes?" she asked as she closed the dishwasher and started it.

"Please, Pol," begged Piper, "Just answer the fucking question!"

"Okay." stated Polly as she leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Well, yes how you ended things between the two of you could have been better. Like the timing and such..."

Piper opened her mouth in astonishment at this, "You told me to end it before it was too late to do so!"

Polly waved her hand in the air at this, "I didn't fucking tell you to end it while you where in the hospital!"

Piper just glared at her best friend at this. This was not the first time they were having this argument. Piper just signed heavily as she crossed her arms over her chest. She knew this would be a bad idea to ask Polly.

"But I don't think it makes you a bad person. You were young and just didn't know what else to do, Pipes," whispered Polly as she took a step towards her friend and placed a comforting hand on her arm. "I wouldn't beat myself up over it. It happened a million years ago and you apologized to Alex. That's really all you can do about it now."

Piper nodded her head slowly at this. She knew that Polly had a point. She shouldn't be beating herself up over something that had happened over eight years ago now. But she couldn't get it out of her mind. And Alex had said that they were okay. But she couldn't help but feel guilty about it now.

Ever since she had ran into Alex this morning, she couldn't get it out of her head. That she was a bad person. That she was a selfish bitch who only thought about herself. First, she had left Alex when her mom had been dying. And then now, she had cheated on Larry with Alex. She was dragging them both through the mud.

Alex said they were okay.

But it still didn't stop the thoughts from going around in her head. Piper just let out a sigh at this and looked away from Polly. Both women were silent for a second. Polly didn't know where Piper was going with all this talk about prison and such. She wanted to help but she didn't know how really.

"Do you think I should tell Larry about Alex?"

"No Pipes," cried out Polly, "It would screw up the whole wedding! Plus, you were drunk! It doesn't count when you are drunk!"

Piper turned to glare at Polly at this. "I'm not just talking about the kiss Pol. I'm talking about everything...I never really told him about my relationship with her."

Polly looked sceptically at Piper at this. She didn't think that would be a good idea. "Look, Larry doesn't need to know about the past. He doesn't need to know about every man or woman you have been with," replied Polly slowly.

"You don't think that the man I am choosing to the spend the rest of my life with should know about my past?" Piper was confused by what Polly was saying. Wasn't she suppose to be honest with Larry?

"Look, Pete doesn't know about every one and everything from my past. Just the important parts," replied Polly with a shrug. "Plus, I thought that Larry knew about Alex?"

"He thinks that she is a guy," whispered Piper in a sadden voice.

"Well, he knows you been with girls right?"

"Yeah," replied Piper slowly.

"So, what's the big deal then?" asked Polly, not seeing where Piper was going with all this.

Piper opened her mouth to say something but quickly changed her mind. Her face then broke out into a tight smile. "Nothing," she whispered, "I guess I'm just having doubts."

"Pipes," whispered Polly, "I know it's scary to be getting married but Larry loves you. And You love Larry. There is no reason to be having doubts."

Piper was quiet at this. There was no doubt in her mind that Larry loved her. She just wasn't sure if she loved him the same way anymore.

"Okay," spoke Polly, a sudden smile appearing on her face. "That's enough talk about ex's and doubts. Do you want a cup of coffee? Pete just got this new espresso machine..."

Piper smiled weakly back at her friend, "Sure."

* * *

_Piper smiled shyly at Alex from across the table._

_She could feel her cheeks blushing as she continued to get lost in the sea green orbs of Alex's eyes. It was their six month anniversary and they were out to dinner. Piper was still amazed by how Alex could make her heart flutter with just one look._

_"Baby," whispered Alex as she leaned in close and reached for Piper's hand which was resting on the table. Her long fingers intertwined with Piper's. "I can't wait to take you home."_

_Piper once again found herself blushing underneath her girlfriend's gaze. She face broke out into a wide grin. She couldn't wait for Alex to take her home either. Her body was not only buzzing from the amount of alcohol she had consumed that night but from the tip of Alex's bare foot brushing up against her calf from underneath the table._

_"I can't wait either," whispered back Piper in her most seductive voice. Her blue eyes were bright and gleaming with lust towards Alex._

_A sly smile slowly spread across Alex's face at this. Her heart raced with excitement as she brought Piper's hand up to her lips and kissed the top of it. She had never felt this way about someone than she did at this moment with Piper. She could tell she was falling for the blonde and fast. They had only know each other for six months but it felt like she had known her, her whole life in away._

_A comforting silence fell between the two women as Alex lowered Piper's hand but did not let it go. They continued to get lost in each other eyes for a moment or two longer before Alex couldn't take it any longer._

_She needed to say what was on her mind._

_Piper watched as Alex once again leaned over the table. Alex didn't care if she was at an awkward angle as her chest brush up against the empty bread basket that lay between them. Their faces were just a mere inches away from another._

_"Piper," whispered out Alex slowly. Her tongue caressing every syllable._

_"Alex," whispered back Piper, playing along with whatever game Alex was playing with her._

_"I love you," replied back Alex. This was no game. She loved Piper and she didn't want to deny it any longer. Her green eyes pierced into Piper's as she waited for her to say something back. "I love you," repeated Alex again before bringing her free hand up to the side of Piper's face and caressing it. She then pulled Piper's chin slightly up before pressing her mouth to hers._

_Alex didn't need for Piper to return the affection. She just wanted Piper to know how she felt._

_The kiss was soft and tender as Piper lifted her own hand up and placed it over Alex's, which rested on her cheek. She kissed her back._

_They stayed like this for a moment longer before Alex pulled away. Their eyes once again locking with another._

_"I love you too," whispered back Piper, her eyes gleaming with adoration for Alex._

_Alex couldn't help but smile widely at this. It was music to her ears._

"So?" asked Nicky, cocking an eyebrow at Alex.

"So?" asked back Alex in confusion. She didn't know where Nicky was going with all this.

"How was the other night?"

"The other night?" Alex knew what other night Nicky was talking about but she wanted her to say it. She had yet to tell Nicky about running into Piper.

"Yeah, the other night...you know when we went to that bar and you went off with someone blonde chick...that night!" Nicky smiled smugly at Alex. She wanted to hear the details of Alex's hook up.

Alex just glared at her friend before walking away and taking a seat on the couch. They were at Alex's apartment.

"Oh come on Vause! Spill the fucking beans already," cried out Nicky as she walked the distance from the kitchen and over to where Alex was seated. "How was it?"

Alex just continued to look at Nicky for a second before sighing. "It was fine," she answered with a shrug. She then reached for the magazine sitting on the coffee table and began to flip through it. Her one night stand from the other night was the last thing she wanted to discuss.

"Just fine?"

"Yes, Nicky. Just fine. I don't even remember much of it," commented Alex as she absorbed her attention into the upcoming summer trends and ignored her friend. "Now can we please talk about something else?"

Nicky crossed her legs as she turned to look at Alex on the couch. "Okay, Okay. We won't talk about it," she stated in a quiet voice.

"Thank you," whispered Alex as she glanced up and over at Nicky.

Nicky just stared at Alex for a second before realization hit her. Her face broke out into a wide smirk.

"What the fuck now happened with you and Chapman?"

Nicky had been around Alex and Piper drama long enough to know when something had happened between them.

"Nothing!" replied Alex harshly as she turned her attention back onto her magazine.

"Oh for fuck's sake! Vause. Just tell me already. It doesn't take a genius to figure out when something happened with Chapman!" point out Nicky.

Alex just frowned at this. She didn't think it was that obvious. She was silent for a second as she continued to flip through the fashion magazine, ignoring Nicky's glare on the side of her face.

"Okay, if you don't want to tell me. That's fine. I will figure it out on my own," she spoke slyly, knowing that it would drive Alex crazy.

Alex just bit the inside of her cheek at this. Pretending she didn't hear her friend. She continued to focus on the magazine.

"What did you meet the fiancé or something?" asked Nicky in a joking matter.

Alex could feel the warmth in her cheeks at this but she kept her face blank of emotion. She nervously pushed her glassed up the bridge of her nose and stared at a picture of Kate Hudson. She could feel Nicky's eyes on her but she ignored them.

Nicky's grin widened at this. "You fucking met the fiancé!?"

"Oh, shut up! cried out Alex as she threw the magazine onto the coffee table and finally looked over at Nicky.

"You fucking met the fiancé!" repeated Nicky. Her eyes were gleaming with amusement.

"Yes, I met him and now can we drop it?" asked Alex. She was pissed off. She didn't want to talk about Piper or Larry. Yes, she had met Larry. But that was it. They had talked for like a minute. It had been nothing really. Piper had apologized for lying about them being together. And now, they were okay.

They could all move on or so she kept on telling herself.

"What? are you guys friends or something now?" asked Nicky, "Are you invited to the wedding?"

Alex just punched Nicky in the arm at this and stood up. She knew that Nicky was just teasing her but she wasn't in the mood.

"Oh come on, Vause! I'm only teasing," commented Nicky as she looked up at Alex.

Alex just glared at Nicky for a second longer before heading back into the kitchen.

"So I met him. What's the big deal? He was...nice," explained Alex as she pulled out a bottle of water out of the fridge. As she twisted off the cap she turned to look over at Nicky. "Me and Piper are okay."

"You and Piper are okay?"

"Yeah," replied Alex with a shrug of her shoulders before raising the bottle to her lips, "We are okay."

"So what does that mean?"

"We talked. We are okay," explained Alex casually.

Nicky couldn't help but laugh at this. Her brown eyes gleamed with amusement at this. "So, you and Chapman are what...fucking friends now or something?"

"Um, yeah...I guess we are..." spoke Alex slowly as she placed the cap back onto the bottle. She hadn't really thought about what her and Piper were now. They hadn't talked since their run-in. "Fuck, I don't know!" she murmured a second later. "I don't want to be her fucking friend!" Alex then threw the water bottle suddenly out in frustration. "Fuck!"

A moment of silence fell over the two of them. Nicky was taken back by Alex's sudden anger. She knew she was bothered by the whole Piper situation. But it was rare for her to lose her cool like this.

Alex pushed her glasses off of her face and buried it into her hands for a second. She hated the situation she was in now with Piper. It had been a lot easier hating her a week ago then it was now with loving her.

"Sorry," murmured Alex towards Nicky as she wiped her eyes and placed her glasses back on.

"No need to apologize, Vause," replied Nicky. She knew her friend was going through hell at the moment.

The two were silent for a moment longer before Nicky spoke again. "Why don't you talk to her?"

Alex just cocked an eyebrow at this. She didn't know where Nicky was going with that. "Talk to her about what, exactly? " she asked, a slight edge to her voice.

"Talk to her about your feelings and shit..." explained Nicky towards Alex. Did she really have to spell it out to her? "I dunno, tell her that you love her maybe..."

Alex just glared at Nicky. She didn't want the lecture.

"And that you just don't want to be fucking friends..." continued on Nicky, a sly smile playing on her face. She knew that Alex didn't want to hear all this but someone had to tell her. Mopping around wasn't helping no one. Alex either needed to get over Piper or tell her how she truly felt. The two needed to talk. "I dunno, you could maybe tell her that."

"She is fucking getting married Nicky," spat Alex in outrage. "In two fucking days. I can't just go to her and confess my love to her!"

It was Nicky's turn to look at her like she had grown three heads. "And why the hell not, Vause? It would do a lot more good than having you bottle up everything inside and pretending everything is fine! Chapman might surprise you! She might be waiting for you to say something first."

"I don't think so," whispered Alex, truthfully.

"Look, just think about it," replied Nicky, "It would make you feel better to get it off of your chest. Plus, it's a lot easier to break off an engagement then a fucking marriage."

Alex was silent at this as she looked away from Nicky and out the window. She knew that Nicky had a point. That if maybe she told Piper how she really felt that they really talked to one another that Piper might surprise her and end things with Larry. But they both knew that Piper was never good at making big decisions like this.

"What happened to the old Alex Vause?" asked Nicky in a quiet voice. "What happened to that cocky-as- hell Alex Vause I first met when I seventeen? Huh, what ever happened to that girl who thought she was the shit? Who was always in control of things in her life? And no matter what, went after what she wanted? "

Alex slowly turned to look at Nicky at this. Her green eyes were slightly moist but she didn't shed a tear as she locked eyes with her friend. "She got sent to prison. That's what fucking happened to her! She realized that she couldn't always be in control of things. She watched as her mother almost died and realized that some things were to big for her to handle. She was abandoned when she needed someone support the most. She fucking lost her life! And doesn't know how to fucking get it back together! That's what fucking happened to her Nicky!" Alex's voice rang off the walls of her apartment as she stared down at Nicky.

Nicky was quiet as she stared back at Alex. She was taken back by what Alex had said. This was the first time really she was hearing about Alex's insecurities since coming out of Litchfield. The shorter woman slowly rose to her feet and made her way over to Alex, who had her back turned to her again and was looking out the window.

"Tell her," whispered Nicky in a tender voice. She was now standing beside Alex and looking out onto the city of New York through the window. "I know you have been through hell and you deserve to be happy again Vause. Chapman makes you happy. You need to go after what you want."

Alex just licked her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. She knew that Nicky had a point. That she had nothing really to lose. Piper wasn't hers and if she didn't return her love then she wouldn't be any worse off then she was now. "But what if she chooses him?" she asked in a whisper.

"Then screw them!" cried out Nicky.

Alex couldn't help but smile a little at this.

"Screw Chapman and her fiancé! If she doesn't return you feelings then you are better off without her in your life. But you won't be happy until you know for sure how she feels about you."

"I dunno, Nicky," whispered Alex as the smile faded from her face and she wrapped her arms further around herself.

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life not knowing?" asked Nicky as she turned to face Alex. "You will regret it if you don't, Vause."

Alex just sighed deeply at this. She knew that Nicky had a point. That she would regret it everyday not telling Piper how she felt and allowing for her to just walk down the aisle not knowing her true feelings. However, she had put her heart on the line before and had gotten burned deeply by Piper. She didn't know if she could go through that kind of heartache again.


	15. i love you, Piper chapman

Friday, June 21st- 12:02 pm

"Are you okay?" asked Polly as she took a step towards Piper.

Piper just nodded her head as she wrapped the bathrobe around herself. They were at the Spa.

But Piper was in no mood really to be pampered. She hadn't slept much the night before.

"I'm okay," she whispered, smiling weakly at her friend.

"Look, I know you are nervous about tomorrow. But I promise that a little massage and facial will make you feel better," explained Polly with a smile. She placed a hand on Piper's arm and pulled her out of the locker room. "Now come on Mrs. Bloom, our appointment is soon."

Piper didn't say anything as she allowed for Polly to pull her out of the room and down the hallway towards the waiting room. She chewed on her lower lip as she took a seat on one of the plush leather chairs. They were to wait here until someone came to get them for their appointments.

She could hear Polly chatting beside her but she was not listening. She nervously pulled at the sleeves of the robe, covering her hands as she stared off into the distance. She had tried to talk to Larry last night about Alex. But couldn't go through with it. She didn't know how to tell him. She wasn't scared that he would flip out. Larry was an understanding guy.

It was just that she was more nervous to open up about that part of her that she had kept hidden for so long. Larry wouldn't see that Alex wasn't just some girl from her past but much more than that. Alex had made her who she was, today in away.

The brunette brought something out of her that no one had brought out of her before. She had adventures with Alex. She had made Piper feel alive for once. Before, Alex had come into her life, she'd just been some boring girl from Connecticut...

Piper rubbed her face and jiggled her legs nervously.

Over the years though Piper had converted back into her boring ways. She had become the nice blonde lady her mother wanted her to be. She no longer had wild affaires with hot tall girls or men. She dated the nice Jewish boy and made soap. Carol Chapman no longer looked on at her with disappointment but with pride.

Piper loved to have her mother approval on her life but deep down, she knew it wasn't her.

It wasn't what she wanted anymore.

She wanted to have adventures again.

"HARPER FOR TWO!" called out a small woman who'd just appeared in the threshold of the waiting room. Piper was immediately rocked out of her thoughts as she jumped in her seat and looked up.

"Oh that's us!" cried out Polly as she rose to her feet. "Come on Piper!" she whispered as she pulled Piper out of her seat and out of the room.

Piper let out a deep breath and tried to relax as she shed off her robe. She was in a separate room as Polly. The masseuse would be back any moment now.

She threw her rob onto the chair before getting underneath the cover on the massage table. She stuck her head into the hole of the table like she was told to do. She hoped that Polly was right. That this would take some of the tension she was feeling away from her.

She was hoping it would help clear her head a little because right now it was a fog of a mess.

_A small moan escaped from Piper's mouth as a wave of pleasure washed over her as Alex deepened her touch on her shoulders._

_Piper was laying face down on the bed as Alex straddled her back side._

_"You like that babe," came Alex's voice warm against her ear as she roamed her hands down her back side._

_"Very much," murmured Piper into the pillows._

_Alex smiled at this before pressing a kiss to the back of Piper's neck and once again began to kneed at Piper's skin._

_Alex loved giving massages._

_She found it a great way to break the tension before sex. Especially, when it was with a new partner. She could sense that Piper was nervous. This was not only going to be their first time together sexually. But it would be Piper very first time with a woman. She wanted it to be perfect for her._

_Piper was naked from the waist up. She still had her jeans on. She had her eyes closed shut as she tried to relax. What Alex's hands were doing to her felt wonderful but she still was nervous. She had never been with a woman before and was scared. She didn't know really what she was suppose to do._

_Nicky had given her some tips on what to expect but Piper still felt unprepared. Her heart raced with nerves as Alex continued to massage her back side._

_This went on for a few moments longer before Alex was suddenly flipping Piper onto her back._

_Piper's blue eyes fluttered open at this and looked up at Alex with surprise._

_Alex smiled broadly down at her as she once again straddled her hips._

_"It's time to work on the front," she whispered in a low seductive voice as she dipped her head down towards Piper. Her face hovered above hers for a second longer before her mouth crashed against the blonde's._

* * *

Alex sat at the edge of her desk and stared at the display on her phone.

She let out a deep breath as she scrolled through her contacts before she came to the one she was looking for. It was now or never she thought as she pressed on the name and a blank screen appeared. She then slowly began to write her message. She was at work and was about to leave for the day, but there was still something she had to do first before leaving.

She frowned slightly as she read over the message, she'd just typed out. It wasn't really what she wanted to say but it would have to do, she thought.

She let out another deep breath before pushing send on her phone.

It was done now.

Now the tough part was to come...waiting for a reply.

She continued to stare at the screen for a second longer before shoving it into her purse and standing up. She needed to get home and pack. She was leaving for New Jersey in the morning for a couple of days. After talking with her mom again last night, she'd agreed to come home and visit.

Plus, she hoped it would get her mind off of Piper for a bit.

Piper chewed on her bottom lip as she looked down at the messages on her phone. The spa appointment had just ended and she was once again back in the locker room. She was alone for the moment as Polly took a shower and she finished getting dressed.

A sigh escaped from her lips as she quickly read through the two messages left by Larry before flipping to the last one.

It was from Alex.

It was the first time she was hearing from her in over a day.

Alex **\- Hey, can we meet up tonight? I really need to talk to you.**

Piper blushed slightly as she read the message. She wondered what Alex wanted to talk about. She'd thought they were okay. She just stood there for a moment or two longer, rereading the message over and over again until getting up the nerve to reply.

She wasn't quite sure what to say to her. She didn't know if she had time to meet up with Alex tonight. It was her rehearsal dinner tonight, but at the same time, she would like to see Alex. Just the mere idea brought a smile to her face and made her heart flutter with excitement.

Piper **\- Hey. It's my rehearsal dinner tonight in Brooklyn. It might be tough but I can meet up briefly to talk. Is that okay?**

Piper pressed send on her phone before placing it down on the bench before continuing to get dressed.

Her phone went off a moment later indicating that she had a new message.

Piper immediately took a seat on the bench and reached for her BlackBerry again. A wide smile spread across her face as she read the new message.

Alex **\- That's okay. Just text me the address and I will meet you outside. Is that good for you?**

Piper immediately wrote back the address and the time that Alex should show up. She figured it would be tough but she would somehow be able to sneak out between the main course and dessert, just before the speeches were scheduled to happen.

* * *

The air was humid as she stood there waiting for her.

Her heart pounding loudly against her chest with each breath that she took. Her lips were dry and chapped. She was fucking nervous. She didn't know what the outcome would be and that scared her more than she liked to admit it did.

Nicky said she had nothing to lose really.

However, she did have something to lose.

Her heart.

She was still protected now without knowing what Piper's answer would be. But once she said her feelings and told her. Everything would change. She would either have Piper or she would once again be left heartbroken. She shoved her hands into the front pocket of her jeans as her eyes snapped towards the door of the winery where a figure had just emerged.

She stood there frozen as Piper approached her.

It was just the two of them on the street at this hour. She found that she was sucking in her breath as she took in the sight of her. Piper always looked beautiful to her but tonight she looked extra beautiful. She was radiant. Her blond hair was up in a French twist with a few strands of hair framing her face. She was dressed in a sapphire halter dress that brought out the blue in her eyes.

Piper smiled shyly at Alex as she approached her.

"Hi," she whispered softly.

Alex smiled back, "Hi."

The two women were about a foot away from each other. Their eyes locked with one another briefly before looking away, nervously.

Alex licked her lips as she slowly looked back up at Piper, who was looking down at her feet. She watched as she brought a hand up to the side of her face and rubbed it slightly before tucking a loose strand behind her ear, only to have it fall again.

Alex couldn't help but smile at this.

She continued to quietly study her before she couldn't take it any longer. She wanted Piper to look at her.

"Pipes," whispered Alex in a tender voice towards the blonde.

Piper's head snapped immediately up at this and over to Alex again. Their eyes once again locking with each other.

Piper's blue eyes were wide as they stared into Alex's, waiting in anticipation on what she was going to say. She had never felt this nervous before, she thought. Her heart was racing and the back of her neck was sweating. Ever since Alex had texted her, saying they needed to talk, she had been on edge. She had a pretty good idea what Alex wanted to talk about but she still didn't know for sure.

Alex slowly dipped her head and pressed her mouth to Piper's. She knew that they needed to talk.

That she needed to talk.

But she first had to get the need out of her system. She had been wanting to kiss Piper since seeing her last. She caved to touch her body and feel her skin against her own. She wanted her. She didn't attempt to touch Piper anywhere else as her hands stayed in her pockets.

It was just her mouth touching her.

Piper was taken back slightly as she felt the softness of Alex's lips against her own but she quickly found herself kissing her back. Her arms immediately wrapped themselves around Alex's neck as she pressed her body into hers. Gone from her mind was all rational thought. She didn't care that her entire wedding party and family was just a few feet away from discovery her and Alex. She didn't care that Larry could stumble upon her kissing another woman. She didn't care. All that matter was the feeling of Alex's mouth against her own.

The kisses soon grew with passion as the need became more for both of them.

They stayed lip locked for a few moments longer before breaking apart breathily. Their bodies shot apart suddenly like a lighting bolt had suddenly struck down between them.

Alex nervously adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. The kiss had gotten a little out of control then she had first planned on it being. However, she wouldn't take it back.

She loved kissing Piper.

Piper could feel her cheeks flushing as she brought a hand up to her lips. The pads of her fingers gently brushed up against the swollen skin where Alex's lips had been a mere seconds ago. She still marvelled how one touch from those lips could make her whole body melt. Her blue eyes pierced into Alex's, wondering what she was thinking about.

"Look, Piper," began to speak Alex in a low voice. She'd gone over what she was going to say to her all day but now that she was standing here in front of her, she didn't know where to begin. "I think we need to talk."

"Okay," whispered back Piper.

Alex didn't say anything right away. She still wasn't sure how to confess her undying love for this woman. She looked away briefly from Piper as she ran a hand through her hair which was sticking slightly to the back of her neck.

She perched her lips slightly before once again meeting Piper's eye and opening her mouth, "I love you."

"I love you, Piper Chapman," spoke Alex as she took a small step towards Piper. "I love you and I want to be with you."

Piper's mouth hung open slightly at this. She was taken back by what Alex had just said. Her eyes moved back and forth searching her face for an answer. She knew that her and Alex had needed to talk but she hadn't been expecting this confession from her.

"Alex," she murmured.

"No," whispered Alex, cutting her off. She took her head slightly as she reached out to take Piper's hand. "Let me talk."

Piper nodded her head in understanding at this. She wouldn't say anything until Alex was done.

"I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since you came back into my life a week ago. I can't get you out of my mind. I know I said we were okay. But that was a lie. I am not okay, kid. I don't want to just be your friend. I want to be your...girlfriend," Alex's voice broke silently at this. She was never really one to get emotional but she was now. It was like she heard in a movie one time. If you loved someone, you said it out loud. Or else the moment would just pass on by. She didn't want the moment to pass her by. She couldn't allow for Piper to slip through her fingers.

"I love you," she repeated as she brought her free hand up and cupped the side of Piper's face."I have never stopped loving you. Even during the eight years apart. I have always held a place for you in my heart, Pipes. And I know this isn't the best time to be saying all this...Choose me."

Piper just stood there staring at Alex. She was taken back by all this. She didn't know quite what to do. Her blue eyes flickered back and forth over Alex's face. She knew she had to say something but she wasn't sure what. She loved Alex. She knew that for a fact. But at the same time, she knew she couldn't just throw everything she had with Larry away.

"I love you too," whispered Piper.

Alex's face broke out into a smile at this. A wave of excitement and joy filled her at hearing this. However, at the same time she could sense there was a but.

"But, I can't be with you Alex," continued on Piper. She let go of Alex's hand at this. "I'm sorry. But I choose Larry. I love him too." Tears filled her eyes but she tried not to let them fall. It hurt to much saying these words but they were the truth. She loved Larry and she love Alex. But when it came down to everything. She didn't have the guts to go through with it.

To end everything with Larry and be fully with Alex.

This wedding she had been planning for a good year now. Her family and friends had put time and effort into helping her and Larry. She couldn't just throw that all away. No matter how much she loved this woman before her.

There were other things to consider than just her heart.

Alex just stared at Piper coldly. It felt like someone had just stabbed her in the heart at hearing these words. As much as she had hoped that Piper would return her feelings, she had sensed this would happen.

A blanket of silence fell over the two of them for a second. Alex could feel the tears stinging the back of her eyes but she wouldn't allow for herself to cry. At least not in front of Piper.

Alex didn't say another word as she took a step away from Piper. She looked at her one last time before turning her back and began to walk away. They had both said what they were feeling. There was nothing else to discuss. She was done, thought Alex to herself. She wasn't going to stay here any longer than she had too.

Piper didn't want her.

That was it.

She'd gotten her answer.

"ALEX!" cried out Piper after her.

However, Alex ignored her. She just raised her hand and gave the blonde the finger as she continued to walk down the street.

Piper had made her decision. Now they both had to live with it.

"ALEX!" cried out Piper again.

Tears streamed down her face as reality set in at what she had just done. She had made a decision. She had pushed Alex out of her life once again. She had chosen Larry, but how come her heart felt like it was breaking? Shouldn't she be feeling some sort of relief that she had finally made some sort of choice in her life?

"Shit," she swore underneath her breath. She had thought she was making the right decision but now she wasn't so sure. Her breathing was heavy as she leaned against a near by parked car for support.

"Nice going Chapman," she whispered out loud to herself. "You have once again managed to royally fuck things up!"

* * *

Piper smiled weakly at herself in the mirror before heading out of the bathroom and back into the room.

They were in the middle of the rehearsal dinner still. However, she was in no mood to eat. She just felt like going home and curling up into a ball. After having a good cry on the street, she had come inside to wash her face and make herself look presentable again before facing everyone.

"Are you okay?" whispered Larry into her ear as she took her seat beside him.

She nodded her head in reply, "I'm fine."

Larry just stared at her. He didn't looked convinced as he took in the sight of her red, puffy eyes. "Have you been crying?" he asked.

Piper just smiled weakly at him. "I'm fine, Larry," she stated with a slight edge to her tone.

Larry just continued to look at her with concern for a moment longer before looking away and back out onto the table full of their friends and family.

He stole a sideways glaze at Piper ,who seemed to be a thousand miles away. He could sense something was wrong but he wasn't sure what. She had been distance all day it seemed. Especially, since she had come back from the bathroom. He reached slowly underneath the table for her hand.

Piper jumped slightly at his touch, but she did not push him away. She once again smiled weakly at him.

He smiled back at her. His brown eyes filled with love and devotion as he continued to gaze at her. "I love you, Piper Chapman," he whispered into her ear before pressing his lips to hers.

Piper could feel the tears in her eyes once again at this. She was suppose to be happy. She had chosen the man that loved her. She was getting married to the sweetest guy she knew but that didn't take the pain away from her now.

Her heart was breaking.

For she'd pushed away the only woman she had ever loved.

* * *

The room was dark as the door closed behind her.

Alex threw her keys and wallet onto the counter of the kitchen as she made her way to the makeshift bar. She made no attempt to turn on the lights as she stumbled through the dark. Her hand enclosed on the first bottle it came in contact with.

She twisted the cap off in one fluid motion before bringing the bottle up to her lips and began to chug.

The bitterness of the alcohol filled the back of her throat, but she continued to drink for a moment or two longer.

Alex lowered the bottle as a coughing fit came over her. She was chocking on the liquid as she tried to force it down her throat. Tears blurred her vision as she slumped her herself against the side of the counter and slid to the floor. The edge of the bottle hit the floor at this making a rattling sound echo around the room.

Her body shook violently as she sobbed. Tears streamed down her face like waterfalls. She felt so broken at this moment.

Everything seemed to hurt.

She hadn't been in so much pain like this in a while.

Alex had known there would be a good chance that Piper wouldn't return her feelings, but the worse part was that she had returned her feelings in a way. Piper had said that she had loved her too.

But Alex still wasn't good enough for her. She still wasn't enough.

Piper loved her but she loved Larry more.

Alex began to rock herself back and forth, making her shoulders hit the wooden cabinets of the counter hard.

"Fuck!" she screamed at the top of her lungs before drinking heavily from the bottle of liquor again.

 


	16. fuck! fuck! fuck!

Saturday, June 22nd- 3:02 am

Piper was going to be sick.

Her stomach twisted as a wave of nausea came over her again. She bolted suddenly from her bed and headed straight towards the bathroom. She barely reached the toilet before the contents of her dinner came up.

Ever since she arrived at Polly's where she was spending the night away from Larry, she'd been feeling sick. Her guilt was eating away at her insides it seemed.

She couldn't get Alex off of her mind.

She couldn't stop thinking about the look that had appeared on her face as she told her that she chose Larry. She'd seen that look before. It was a look of pain. A look of sadness.

She hated that look.

Piper fell to her knees as she pushed her hair off of her face before being violently sick to her stomach again.

She hated herself more than ever at this moment.

She wish she could take it all back. That she could go back in time and choose Alex instead of Larry. But she had panicked. Alex's confession had taken her by surprise and she'd freaked. She'd tried to explain it to Alex but she had walked away before she could.

Piper had once again freaked out about a future with Alex.

She had chosen Larry out of panic. He was safe and stable. She knew he could give her a stable life. She didn't have the guts that she wish she did to free fall through life with Alex.

She had chosen Larry out of habit.

He was the life she known for five years now. How could she just throw it all away just after having two wonderful days with Alex?

Shame washed over her as she once again thought about Alex. Her heart seemed to break all over again at what she'd done. Her heart and mind seemed to be saying two different things at the moment.

Tears brimmed her eyes as she felt her stomach twist painfully again. She knew she was making herself sick with all this thinking. But she couldn't get away from the guilt she was feeling. And she knew she couldn't get away from it, not matter how hard she wished and prayed it would.

Piper also had a feeling that Alex wouldn't take her back even if she did call off the wedding now and ran to her.

Alex didn't like to be the second choice.

She had only one real opinion now and that was to marry Larry and be happy.

Or try to at least.

_"FUCK!"_

_"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"_

_"FUCK!" cried Piper out loud to herself._

_She couldn't believe what she had just done._

_There had been some stupid things she'd done in her life but this was probably the most stupid one by far. She'd never been good under pressure. And was easily influenced by others. She tried to think for herself and act confident like Nicky and Alex did._

_But deep down, she wasn't._

_She was never good with thinking things through and usually acted on impulse. And that's what she had done. She had panicked. She allowed for her mother to get to her. Allowed for Polly's disapproval on her relationship with Alex to effect her thinking._

_She'd freaked out and ended something good._

_"FUCK!" she swore again as she bashed her hands against the stirring wheel of her car._

_She had just royally fucked up her life. She had just walked out on the best thing going for her._

_She'd just threw out an almost four year relationship._

_Just like that._

_"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"_

_Tears streamed down her face but she made no attempt to wipe them away. She didn't care that she was seated in the middle of the hospital parking lot in her car, crying. She didn't care if people thought she was crazy._

_She deserved all the dirty, judgemental looks that came her way because she was a bad person._

_She had just gone up and abandoned Alex like she was nothing. That she didn't care about her anymore. When that was the furthest thing from the truth._

_She loved Alex._

_She loved Alex more than she had ever loved anyone before._

Piper sat back on her heels and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She let out a sniffle as she tried to blink the tears away from her eyes.

"Snap out of it, Chapman," whispered Piper to herself. She needed to get over this. She couldn't be this emotional mess that she was now.

It was her wedding day for God's sake.

It was the happiest day of her fucking life.

She pushed herself up onto her feet and walked towards the vanity. She didn't dare to look at herself in the mirror as she turned on the faucet of the sink and splashed cold water onto her face.

Her entire body was shaking as her clenched the sides of the vanity for support. She felt feverish like she had the flu or something.

She was freaking out and she didn't have anyone to talk to about this. The only person who knew about her and Alex was Nicky. But Nicky wasn't someone she could talk to. Nicky would side with Alex on this one. Like she had last time. Piper didn't blame her for this.

She was a shitty person.

An even shittier person now for repeating history.

_"How is she?" asked Piper in a timid voice towards Nicky._

_Nicky just glared at Piper coldly. There was no warmth in her brown eyes. There was no amazement in them like there usually was when she looked at Piper. She didn't say anything as she slowly closed the front door of their apartment and dumped her bag onto the floor._

_Piper slowly rose from her seat on the couch as she continued to look at Nicky nervously. She bit hard on her lower lip._

_"How is she?" she asked again._

_It had been a few hours since Piper had left Alex at the hospital. She was curious to know how she was._

_Nicky just once again glared at Piper from across the room. "How is she?" repeated Nicky. Her voice was like ice. "She is fucking heart broken. That's how she is."_

_"What where you fucking thinking?"_

_Piper just stared at her roommate for a second. She knew what she had done was bad but she didn't need this at the moment. "I don't have to listen to this at the moment," she replied before turning her back and began to make her way into her bedroom._

_"You're a fucking. Selfish. Bitch. Chapman!" cried out Nicky as she quickly enclosed the space between them and grabbed Piper roughly by the arm, forcing her to turn around. She wasn't done with her yet._

_The two women just glared deadly at each other._

_"You have done some stupid things but this has got to be the stupidest one at that!"_

_Piper clenched her jaw and stared down at Nicky, "I don't have to explain myself to you..."_

_"Oh like hell you do! You fucking abandoned Alex! YOU THINK THAT I'M JUST GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT!" Nicky was up in Piper's face at this. She might be short but she wasn't afraid of Piper. She could take the WASPy blonde any day._

_"Look! I regret it! Do you think I am happy about all this? That I wanted to do what I did...because I fucking didn't!" cried back Piper in frustration. "I fucking love Alex! I never meant to hurt her!"_

_Piper then stormed out of the apartment before Nicky could say another word. She didn't want to talk about the break up anymore. She already felt like shit about it. She didn't need Nicky shoving it further down her throat._

* * *

"ALEX!" cried out Nicky as she banged on Alex's front door.

She was worried about her. She hadn't heard from Alex since the afternoon. She knew that Alex had taken her advice and gone after Piper, confessing her love. However, she now feared the worse had happened. Alex hadn't answered any of her texts or calls. She didn't like this.

"ALEX!" she tried again."LET ME IN! IT'S NICKY!"

Nicky didn't care if it was the early hours of the morning and that she might wake up others in the building. She needed to check on her friend.

Alex had told her that she would text her the outcome, good or bad. She hadn't done that though. She knew she might be making a big deal out of nothing. That Alex and Piper might be celebrating right now together. But she had been through this before. And feared that Piper had chosen Larry over Alex. She knew how Alex got when it came to Piper. She closed herself off and self destructed. She feared that history was repeating it's self.

"ALEXXX!" she cried again banging even harder on the surface of the door.

She knew there was a slim chance that Alex would open up but that didn't stop her from trying for a few moments longer. She could hear noises coming from the other side of the door.

Some one was in there.

"AAALLEEXXX!"

"FUCK OFF!" cried a muffle voice from inside the room.

"ALEX LET ME IN!"

"GO AWAY!" cried back Alex.

"ALEX COME ON! LET ME IN!"

"I SAID GO AWAY!" A moment later the sound of breaking glass could be heard as something was thrown against the door.

"Fuck, Chapman!" swore Nicky underneath her breath. She couldn't believe that it was happening all over again. That Piper had once again gone and screwed everything up.

"Fuck!" she swore again as she looked towards the doorknob. Things were about to get dirty as she padded down the pockets of her jeans looking for a body pin.

If Alex wasn't going to let her in than she would just have to do it herself.

 


	17. yes, i do

Saturday, June 22nd- 10:57 am

Alex awoke in a daze.

She let out a groan at the harsh light coming in from the window. She was in so much pain. Her entire body ached as she rolled herself onto her back and stared up at the ceiling of her bathroom.

She had no idea on how she had gotten there. She couldn't remember anything from the previous night except for the part where Piper stomped on her heart. That part she remember pretty clearly.

She groaned again as she threw her arm over her eyes and closed them. Trying to block out any light.

She continued to lay there for a few moments longer before there was a knock on the door and it was being opened.

"Rise and shine Vause!" spoke Nicky as she appeared suddenly in the room and down at Alex. She had ended up staying with Alex after breaking into her apartment.

"Fuck off," whispered Alex in a harsh voice. She was in no mood to rise and shine. She felt like a bag of shit at the moment. She had no intentions on getting up from the spot she was currently in. No matter how uncomfortable the tiled floor was on her back.

"No, I will not!" replied Nicky as she bent down and reached for Alex's free hand. Her other one was still over her face.

"Nicky! What the HELL?" cried out Alex as Nicky pulled roughly on her arm, forcing her into a seating position. Her eyes narrowed as she looked up at Nicky. She wasn't wearing her glasses. She not only was blinded by the sunlight pouring into the bathroom but by her own poor vision. All this squinting was not helping with the headache she could feel coming on.

Nicky just smiled at her, "You have a wedding to get too!"

"Excuse me?" she asked as she cocked an eyebrow and glared up at the other woman. She had no where to go today but New Jersey to see her mom.

"You heard me, Vause. You have a wedding to get too," repeated Nicky in all seriousness. She didn't think that Alex hadn't fought hard enough for Piper and she wasn't going to let her mope around all day. She needed to go after Piper.

"Like hell I do!" snapped Alex as she pulled her arm out of Nicky's grasp and made an attempt to get up despite the protesting of her muscles. She knew what Nicky was getting at. Alex had no plans on stepping anywhere near Piper's wedding. She was done with that.

"So what? You're just going to move on now?" asked Nicky as Alex turned her back towards her and began to splash cold water onto her face. "You aren't going to fight for her?"

"Nicky there is nothing to fight over! I told her last night how I felt and she chose HIM! SHE FUCKING TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED ME BUT THAT SHE COULDN'T BE WITH ME! SHE MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT ME!" Alex's voice rang off the walls as her anger from last night resurfaced.

Nicky just looked at Alex for a moment longer, "Get yourself together. We leave in five minutes."

Alex just glared at Nicky. Was she being serious? Had she not just heard a word she had just said? She wasn't going anywhere in five minutes, but to bed.

"Look, I understand that you're hurt but you can't just give up. Chapman is selfish and stupid at times. But you love her. And like you said, she loves you. I don't think she doesn't want you. I think it is the opposite. That she does want you. She's just scared. We both know that Chapman isn't good at making decisions about the future," explained Nicky in a timid voice. She didn't want to fight with Alex. She just wanted her to see that she needed to got to the wedding to stop it.

Alex couldn't help but laugh a little at this. "Thanks but no Thanks, Nichols. I've had enough of putting myself out there only to be rejected. Especially by Piper. If she wants to marry Larry than I wish her all the best but I am fucking done!" Alex continued to look at Nicky before turning her back to her and turning off the faucet.

"You're fucking done?" echoed Nicky.

"Yes, I'm fucking done!" replied Alex as she began to pat her face dry with a hand towel. Her temples were throbbing with each breathe she took. She had no energy for this at the moment. She really hoped that Nicky would just drop it and leave her alone. "Piper knows how I feel and she made a decision. And I'm going to respect it by not chasing after her."

Nicky wasn't convinced by this. She knew that Alex couldn't just shut off her feelings for Piper. The blonde just continued to stare at Alex for a moment longer before letting out a sigh.

"Okay," she whispered.

Alex looked over the edge of the towel at this.

"Okay. We won't crash the wedding." Nicky realized that there was no point in forcing Alex to go to the wedding.

"Thank you," whispered Alex in relief. She then threw the towel into the sink before heading into her bedroom. Nicky was close on her heels as she threw herself in the middle of the bed. She didn't care if she was fully dressed still. She really just wanted to sleep for a bit before she had to catch her train to New Jersey.

"By the way, your phone went off an hour ago," commented Nicky as she threw Alex's cell phone to her. The phone bounced twice on the bed before stopping.

Alex just looked at it briefly before slowly turning onto her side to reach for it. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but she figured it was probably her mom phoning her, checking if she was still coming today.

Alex didn't bother to look at the number of the person who had phoned her as she typed in her password for her voice mail. She slowly brought the phone up to her ear as she listened to the one message she had. A frown appeared on her face as a familiar voice filled her ear. It was Stacey calling from work. A sense of dread washed over her at this.

"Fuck!" she swore as she slowly forced herself to sit up and called her work back. She prayed that they were just looking for something in the office. She hoped that she wasn't getting called into work. That she wouldn't have to go help Marco as Piper's wedding.

There was no fucking way.

"Fuck!" swore Alex as she threw her phone onto the bed and buried her face into her hands. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes but she blinked them away before they could fall. She couldn't believe that this was happening. She'd just ended her call with work and was suppose to go to the wedding.

Marco again was running late and Alex was suppose to go and take photos until he got there. She couldn't believe that this was fucking happening to her. That she had to go to Piper's wedding and pretend that everything was fine. She knew she could have told them that she couldn't. But she needed the job.

"What happened?" asked Nicky, who was still in the room. She had overheard bits and pieces of the conversation.

"I'm going to the fucking wedding!" snapped Alex as she forced herself to her feet and out of bed. "That fucking Marco is running late and needs me to head over there and take pictures of the venue and of fucking Piper getting ready and such...until he gets there. Fuck!" she swore as she rubbed her face. She hated this. She didn't want to see Piper again.

This was not how she wanted today to go.

Nicky just looked on at her with concern for a second. She knew that this was not what her friend wanted. But she couldn't help, but think that this was her second chance to make things right with Piper.

"Go take a shower and I will put on a pot of coffee. Then, when you're ready I'll drive you," she whispered before leaving the room.

* * *

Alex was silent on the whole car journey from her apartment to the photography studio, where she'd picked up Marco's equipment before driving to where the wedding was in Brooklyn.

She tried not to think about Piper or the possible outcome of all this. She knew that she couldn't force Piper to be with her. And she was in no way in hell, making a scene like Nicky wanted her too. But a part of her couldn't help but think that maybe...just maybe that Piper would change her mind after seeing her.

She highly doubted it though.

"Thanks for the ride," whispered Alex as she forced a smile on her face and looked towards Nicky.

They had just pulled up to the venue.

Nicky turned off the car at this and returned the smile. "Any time Vause!" she replied back.

Alex looked at her for a second longer before turning her attention out the car window to the front door of the Brooklyn Winery. Her heart raced with nerves and dread. She couldn't help but feel like she had when she had entered Litchfield for the first time.

"Go get her," whispered Nicky.

Alex frowned at this. "I'm not here to win her over Nicky. I'm here to do my job, that's it," she replied harshly before opening the side door and getting out of the car.

"Whatever you say, Vause," replied Nicky, a slight smirk appearing on her face.

Alex just glared in response to this. "I guess, this is goodbye then?" she asked, changing the topic. She had brought a small duffle bag with her. She was planning on just getting a taxi back to the city after Marco arrived and then hopefully make it in time for her train for 2:30.

Nicky just nodded her head in reply, "I guess it is."

* * *

"What in God's name are you doing here?" asked a very unpleasant sounding Polly as she looked towards Alex.

"Look, I'm not here to make trouble," stated Alex in a firm voice. She was trying not to let her anger show. She knew her presence wasn't helping anyone. But if they all just left each other alone it would make this thing a whole lot more manageable. "I'm just here to take a few pictures of the venue and such until Marco comes."

Polly just glared at Alex for a second. "What do you mean until Marco comes? Is he fucking not with you?" she asked in frustration.

"Marco is running late," stated Alex.

"Well, this is just fucking great!" Polly threw her hands up before storming away from Alex, who was still holding all her equipment and standing in the parlour of the winery.

Alex just stood there awkwardly before following Polly down a small hallway to what looked to be a small dressing room. She was holding her breath as she pushed opened the door and lay eyes on a certain blonde.

Piper didn't see her at first as she had her back turned towards her and listened to Polly explain how Marco was running late.

"Wait! hold on Polly! Alex is here?!" cried out Piper in a panic. "Like right now?!"

"Yes! Right now!" replied back Polly. "But I will kick her ass out if you want me too."

Alex, who was standing in the threshold of the room, cleared her throat loudly at this, making both Polly and Piper turned around immediately. She couldn't help but smirk slightly as she locked eyes with Piper.

An awkward silence then fell between them for a moment as both tried to comprehend what was happening.

Piper couldn't believe that Alex was there in the flesh. There were so many things she wanted to say to her. To apologize. To explain how she would always love her. However, words again failed her. She stood there flabbergasted for a second longer before tearing her eyes away from Alex and over to Polly.

"No, Polly. She can stay," whispered Piper in a quiet voice towards her friend.

Polly frowned at this but didn't say another word. She then turned to look at Alex. "I'll show you where the ceremony will be. Maybe you can take some photos while it's empty," her voice was clear and firm. She was making it perfectly clear towards Alex that she wasn't happy with her being here and that she wanted her far away from Piper.

Alex just glared at Polly. She sucked on her teeth before nodding her head, "Sure." She then casted a sideways glance at Piper before following Polly out of the room.

Piper watched as Polly and Alex left the room and down the hallway before turning the corner and disappearing from sight. Tears brimmed her eyes as she turned her back to the door and took a seat on one of the chairs in the room.

The day had just gotten worse.

She hadn't slept or eaten since the previous night. She was a fit of nerves and now having Alex here just added to her troubles.

She wasn't looking forward to the wedding but this morning she had accepted her choice of Larry.

But now with Alex here. She wasn't quite sure of her decision anymore.

* * *

Alex took her time taking shots of the atrium where the ceremony was being held in the winery.

Despite herself, she couldn't help but think of how nice the place was decorated. She could defiantly see Piper in each choice from the white roses tied on each of the chairs lining the aisle to the chuppah, which she knew was a custom in Jewish weddings. It's where Larry and Piper would stand under and say their vows. The chuppah was made out of wood and covered in a mixture of white roses and daisies. It gave the appearance that the flowers were growing out of it.

All the décor in the room was clean lined and white.

It was simple, but beautiful, just like Piper was she thought.

She'd already been there for an hour and had photographed every inch of the 8,000 square feet of the winery. The only thing that needed to be done now was photograph the bride getting ready.

Alex couldn't help but sigh at this. She wasn't looking forward to seeing Piper in her wedding dress.

Alex took her time gathering up the tripod and camera before heading out to look for Polly, who had been watching her every move from afar. She knew that Piper's best friend wasn't happy with her being there and she continued to make that clear. Even when Alex and Piper had been dating, Polly hadn't been her favourite person. The two of them had never gotten along really.

"Oh no, you don't!" cried out Polly as she stormed up behind Alex.

Alex turned around at this and cocked an eyebrow, "What?"

"Don't think I don't know what you are doing? Uh...sneaking off to see Piper!" excused Polly as she glared up at Alex, who was a foot taller than her.

"I wasn't going off to see Piper," snapped back Alex. "Do you think I want to be here? Because I fucking don't Holly!"

"It's Polly!" corrected Polly in an annoyance. "How fucking hard is it for you to remember that! It's POLLY! P-O-L-L-Y!"

Alex couldn't help but smirk at this. When she had first met Polly, she had gotten her name wrong and called her Holly. She than made it a habit to call her that just to see the annoyed look on her face.

"Look, I am done with the venue. I need to take pictures of Piper getting ready. It's what she wanted..." Alex's voice trailed off slightly as she nervously played with her glasses. A wave of pain came over her at that thought. It's what she wanted... Piper wanted Larry. However, she didn't allow herself to be sad. She pushed all feelings of Piper away as she continued to look down at Polly.

Polly just huffed at this before motioning for Alex to follow her back to the dressing room.

"Come on!" she called out to Alex.

Alex let out a sigh before following. She hoped that this would go quickly, like ripping off a bandage.

Piper was already in her wedding dress when Polly pushed opened the door and stepped inside. Alex once again found herself hovering in the threshold of the room. She was suddenly overcome with shyness as she noticed that Piper wasn't alone in the room. All of her bridesmaids were there, standing around her. Her mother, Carol, a woman that Alex loathed was also in the room.

She didn't know what to do. Her green eyes searched around the room. No one had noticed her yet.

Everyone's attention was on the bride like it should be, she thought to herself. She didn't allow her eyes those to linger there for too long before she took it upon herself to start snapping pictures.

It was candid shots that Piper wanted.

She remembered that little fact from the meeting she had with Piper back at the photography studio over a week ago. She chewed on her bottom lip as she rested the tripod against the wall and removed the camera from her shoulder, where it had been hanging from it's strap. She then took a small timid step into the room and began to take some photographs.

In this moment, she controlled all her thoughts and feelings of Piper and focused solely on work. For, she not only didn't want to give Piper bad wedding photographs but this was her chance to impress Marco. She had done a couple of shoots by herself. But this was the first time, she was really out on her own without her boss hovering over her, criticising her every move.

A couple of minutes passed before anyone noticed that she was in the room.

Piper could sense that Alex was in the room but tried not to look in her direction or get caught looking. Not only was everyone hovering around her, adjusting her dress and veil but both her mother and Polly where in the room. Neither, who were fans of Alex.

Piper tried to smile and look happy as her friends told her how beautiful she looked and how lucky a guy Larry was to be marrying her. But it was all an act.

She wasn't happy at all.

Her heart felt heavy with sadness as her eyes continued to glance over in Alex's direction. Their eyes would lock briefly for a second before one of them would look away. Which was usually Piper.

She was trying to read what Alex was thinking but her face was a blank canvas of emotion. Whatever she was feeling or thinking about was hidden from her. Piper didn't blame Alex for this. She deserved Alex's coldness.

She had been a royal bitch to her.

* * *

"You look beautiful."

Piper immediately turned around at this. The tulle of her dress made a rustling sound as she moved, her blue eyes widened slightly as she looked on Alex. She had thought she left when everyone else had an hour ago now.

There was only a half an hour left until the wedding was to start.

"Alex," she whispered as she took a small step towards where Alex stood in the doorway. "I thought you left..." Piper's voice trailed off as she nervously looked away.

"I did but I left the tripod in here..." replied Alex, gesturing to the tripod she held firmly in her hands. She was just as nervous as Piper. They hadn't spoken since she had arrived at the venue.

A blanket of silence fell over the two women as they stood in the small dressing room, staring at one another. The tripod was not the only reason that Alex had come back. She had wanted to see her one last time before leaving for good.

"Marco is here now," whispered Alex as she looked over her shoulder briefly before looking back at Piper.

Piper nodded her head slowly in understanding as her played with the edge of her veil. She once again chewed on her lower lip. She didn't care if she licked all her lipstick off. Her thoughts were miles away from how she looked. Her only focus was on Alex.

"Look Alex," she whispered. If she was going to say what she was feeling this was the moment to do it. She knew that Polly would return soon to check up on her. This was her only time alone with Alex.

"I'm sorry," began to explain Piper only to be cut off.

"Pipes," spoke Alex as she took a step towards her. There was only a mere three feet between them now.

"No! I have too!" cried out Piper in sudden frustration. Her blue eyes pierced intensely into Alex's. "Just let me explain."

Alex cocked an eyebrow at this. She wasn't expecting for Piper to apologize to her. She didn't say anything as she waited for Piper to continue.

Piper was silent for a second before she continued on, "I'm sorry for all the shitty-ness I put you through. And not just for last night but the three and half years we were together. I've been thinking a lot about those days and how I just left you when shit got real. I was a coward back then. I'm still am a coward!" Her voice raised slightly in a high pitch. She was suddenly mad at herself.

"I was scared back then. I loved you and didn't know how to deal with it. I'm sorry that I left when your mom was dying. And I'm sorry that I am doing the exact same thing to you now!" Hot tears filled her eyes suddenly as she continued to look at Alex.

Her heart was beating a mile a minute as feelings of guilt washed over her.

Alex pushed her glasses suddenly up, off of her face and looked away briefly from Piper before looking back. She wanted to hate Piper more than ever at this moment. But she found it to be a struggle. She hated the look that was on her face now. That expression of guilt and sadness all bundled into one. Alex had a deep desire to take Piper into her arms and kiss away all her pain. Her arms suddenly ached for her body. To feel the warmth of her against her own. To press a tender kiss to her jaw line and whisper over and over again that it will be okay.

However, before she could give in to this temptation the dressing room door suddenly burst open and Carol Chapman, along with Polly came back into the room. The two were in mid conversation when they noticed that Piper wasn't alone.

An awkward silence fell between the four women as they all looked at one another.

Carol and Polly looked harshly at Alex as if seeing her for the first time. They then glanced over at Piper who was on the verge of crying.

"Look, I was just leaving," stated Alex as if reading their thoughts. She knew that they thought she had come here to ruin Piper's big day and now thought that she had upset Piper by the look on her face.

Alex looked between them before glancing over at Piper. She wanted to say something to her. This was not how she wanted things to end between them. But she figured it was probably for the best that they parted ways like this. She gave Piper a slight smile before turning on her heel and leaving the room before anyone could say anything else.

"Honey, don't cry," spoke Carol behind Alex's back as she turned towards her daughter."You will ruin your make-up!"

"Mom! please!" cried out Piper as her mother began to dab at her face with a tissue. She took a small step away from her mother as she pulled the tissue from her hands. "I can do it myself!" She knew she sounded like a selfish brat but she didn't care.

It was her wedding and she would cry if she wanted too.

Carol just frowned and let out a deep sigh of disapproval but didn't argue back.

The room was suddenly very tense feeling as Piper looked at herself in the mirror and dabbed her eyes. She could hear Polly chatting away as she knelt down suddenly and began to fluff the bottom of her dress but she was paying no attention. Her thoughts were miles away as her heart yearned for Alex.

* * *

Piper couldn't breathe.

She didn't know what the fuck to do?

She loved Larry.

But she loved Alex too.

She didn't know who to choose.

Tears brimmed her eyes as wave of panic washed over her. However she quickly blinked them away. She couldn't allow herself to cry. It would ruin her make-up, the artist had just completed painting on her face. Polly would have a shit-fest for sure if she saw one drop of mascara run down her cheek.

"Fuck!" cursed Piper to herself as she paced around the small dressing room. The tulle of her skirt rustling with every step she took. She was fully dressed in her wedding dress and was suppose to be walking down the aisle in less than fifteen minutes.

"Fuck!" she cursed again to herself. It wasn't suppose to be like this. This was suppose to be the happiest day of her life. However, it felt nothing like that. She was on the edge of a nervous break down. She was finally getting the wedding she'd dreamt of as a little girl. Finally marrying her prince charming. She frowned slightly at this. Larry was no prince charming. He was a good guy. The funny, nice boy but he was no prince charming. At least not to Piper.

"Fuck!" she swore again. She had stopped pacing and was now looking at her reflection in the mirror. She frowned at what she saw. She didn't look anything like a blushing bride, she thought. The perfect dress that she had picked out almost a year ago now, seemed to be too much. It was too frilly. Too princessey. It didn't seem to be her at all. It was a strapless off-white mermaid style dress. It had a tiered pleated skirt made out of tulle and chapel train. It had a sweet-heart neckline which was also pleated. There was beaded embellishments underneath the bust line and on the top pleat of the skirt. It had seemed like the one at the time but now she was having second thoughts about it. Just like she was having second thoughts about the whole wedding and who she was choosing to be with forever.

"Forever is a fucking long time," she whispered out loud to herself. She didn't know if she wanted a forever with Larry. She didn't want to wake up one morning after being married for 20 years and three children later, and regret the whole thing. Just like her mother had done with her father. She didn't want to end up resenting Larry. She wanted to only get married once in her life.

"Fuck. Chapman. Get your self together!" she murmured to her reflection in the mirror.

Of course she loved Larry. They had been together for almost five years now. She had been so happy when he had proposed to her at the cape. She'd felt like the happiest girl on the planet at the time and had been, up until ten days ago, that was.

Ten days ago, she'd ran into a woman she had thought she would never see again. A woman she hadn't seen in almost eight years.

Alex Vause had stepped back into her life.

If this was faith way of telling her something. She got the message loud and clear.

Alex was no Larry. She was Alex. She was like no one else Piper had ever met before and after being with her. She was sexy, damn sexy. She oozed confident. She was reckless and loved adventure. And the woman of Piper's dreams. She loved her. She fucking loved Alex Vause.

"Fuck!" swore Piper again in frustration. She hated that it had come down to this. That she had to pick between Larry, a great guy and Alex, damn, sexy woman. She had to choose between a safe and normal life or a wild, unpredictable adventure. Why couldn't she just have both? Why couldn't she just for once have her cake and eat it too?

She didn't know what to do. Her heart was saying one thing, but her brain was saying another.

However, before she could think about the choice she had to make, there came a loud knock at the dressing room door, interrupting her from self-combusting. Piper looked over her shoulder as the door opened and her father, Richard popped his head inside. Their eyes locked with one another.

"Pippi," spoke her father in a soft and gentle voice.

"Is it time?" she asked towards him, all colour draining from her face, a feeling of dread washing suddenly over her.

"It's time!" confirmed her father, a warm smile appearing on his face as he took a step further into the room and held out his arm for Piper to take.

The wedding was about to begin.

"Daddy," she whispered in panic towards him, "I don't know if I can do this." She had always been able to confide in her father and this time was no different.

And it was the truth. She didn't know if she could really go through with the wedding.

The smile faded from her father's face at this but he nodded his head in understanding.

"I love Larry but I don't want to end up like you and mom..." she confessed in a small voice. It was the first time she was saying the words out loud. She wanted to be happy. And yes, Larry had made her happy for the last five years. But she didn't know if he would be able to make her happy for the rest of her life?

Richard took a deep breath before reaching out for his daughter's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Pippi," he spoke in a comforting voice, "If there is any doubt in your heart then don't go through with it. Marriage is a commitment. A commitment you should feel hundred percent confident about."

Piper just looked on at her father at this. "But Daddy," she whispered. "What about all the people out there?"

"Piper, who cares about them. All that matters is your happiness. If you don't feel right about the marriage then call off the wedding," replied Richard as he smile gently at her. He could see the struggle that Piper was having. She didn't look like the blushing bride that she should be.

She looked scared and miserable to him.

Tears filled her eyes as realization set in. That she was calling off the wedding for good. That she wouldn't be walking down the aisle and becoming Mrs. Larry Bloom. She chewed harshly down on her lip as she down casted her eyes.

"How will I tell Larry?"

"Do you want me to get him for you?" asked her father.

Piper nodded her head slowly in reply to this. She knew if she was going to call off the wedding for good. That she at least had to face Larry and tell him the truth. He deserved that much from her.

Piper then closed her eyes as she felt her father press a kiss to her temple before leaving the room.

* * *

"Pipes, what the hell is going on?" asked Larry as he came into the room. He didn't look anger, just curious at what was the hold up. His brown eyes pierced into Piper's as he approached her.

Piper fidgeted with her veil which she'd removed moments earlier. "Larry, I'm sorry," she whispered as tears once again filled her eyes. "But I can't marry you."

Larry just stood there for a second, looking at her. He was slightly taken back by all this. This was the first time he was hearing about Piper's doubts.

The couple stood there in silence as Larry tried to work all this out. Piper was nervously biting down on her lip again. Her hands clenching tightly at the material of the veil. She was crushing it in her hands but she didn't care. Her attention was on Larry. Her heart raced with anticipation on what his response would be. He had yet to say anything.

"Is there someone else?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Piper nodded her head slowly at this, "Yes."

Larry continued to look at her for a moment longer before looking away briefly. He didn't know how to respond to this.

"I'm sorry," whispered Piper. Her voice was filled with emotion as tears ran down her face. And she truly was sorry. She never meant for any of this to happen but it had. She just hated it had taken her this long to realize it all.

Larry looked back up at her at this. "Who?" he asked out of curiosity. There was a slight edge to his voice.

"Larry," spoke Piper in protest.

"Piper," he replied cutting her off."You owe me at least that much. Who is it? Do I know them?"

Piper blinked the tears away from her eyes and hung her head slightly before replying. Larry was right. He deserved to know who it was. "You met her...the other night...Alex," she confessed. Her voice was small and child like. Her eyes looked up and studied his face.

There was a mixture of anger and sadness playing out on it.

Larry was torn between hating Piper and feeling sad that he couldn't be the one to make her happy. He was quiet as he continued to look at her, debating what to say next to her. He was a little surprised that the person was Alex. But he'd have been taken back by hearing anyone name really. He guess he just didn't know Piper as well as he thought he had.

"Do you love her?" he asked, afraid to hear the answer. If Piper was just cheating on him, physically. He could handle that. Sex was sex. But if she had an emotional connection with someone else. That was something entirely different.

Piper swallowed over the lump that had suddenly risen in the back of her throat. Her blue eyes pierced into Larry's brown one for a second before replying.

"Yes." She confess. "Yes, I do." She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief at finally coming clean. To stop ignoring these strong feeling for Alex and face them head on. To admit what she'd known all along.

She loved Alex Vause.

* * *

The air was hot and humid as Piper pushed opened the winery door and stumbled into the street. The sun was bright that day. It would had been a beautiful day for a wedding, she thought to herself ironically. She wrapped her arms around herself as she began to walk down the street.

She didn't dare to look back towards the winery. Everyone was gone now. A few guests had stayed to eat the reception dinner that had already been paid for. Larry had left, along with most of his family to go back to his parents' house in Queens.

Piper had sneaked out.

Her parents were still in there, along with Polly. They thought she was in the dressing room still.

She couldn't stand to answer anymore questions or hear her mother's disappointment in her on how she was throwing her life away.

She didn't know where her life was heading. But she felt calmer now in away.

She was eager to get back into Manhattan and to see if she could find Alex. She'd had tried phoning her but her BlackBerry was dead. She just wanted to see her. She knew there was a good chance that Alex wouldn't take her back.

But she was hoping it was not to late.

Piper walked a few blocks before she was able to hail a cab. She quickly told the cab driver the address to Alex's apartment. She remembered it from last time she was there.

She just hoped that she was home.

* * *

Piper's heart raced as she stepped off the elevator and headed toward Alex's apartment. She chewed on her thumbnail as she approached the door. She had never felt so nervous in her life as she did at this moment. She knew she needed to do this now before she lost her nerve to do so. Alex had confessed her love to her last night. She had put herself at risk to only have Piper stomp on her heart.

It was Piper's turn to put herself out there.

She let out a deep breath before knocking loudly on the door.

A moment passed before she heard movement on the other side and foot steps approach. She held her breath as the door slowly opened but who she wanted to see was not on the other side.

"Chapman!"

"Nicky," spoke Piper in surprise at seeing the shorter woman.

Nicky couldn't help but smile as she leaned against the frame of the door and continued to peer up at Piper. Her brown eyes gleamed with amusement.

"Is Alex home?" asked Piper nervously as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other and shoved her hands into the back pocket's of her jeans. She hadn't been expecting to see Nicky.

"No, she isn't," replied Nicky the smile fading slightly from her face as she saw the disappointment flash on Piper's face. She clearly wasn't happy to see her, thought Nicky.

"Oh," replied Piper as realization set in.

"She's in New Jersey...visiting her mom," explained Nicky towards her.

Piper nodded her head slightly at this before down casting her eyes onto her feet. She didn't know what to do. She had been expecting for Alex to be home. That Alex might be upset to see her but would let her in and they would talk.

Nicky chewed on her bottom lip for a second. She pondered why Piper was here. She had a pretty good idea why but was still curious to hear it. "What are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be getting hitched or something?"

Piper looked up at this and locked eyes with Nicky.

"I called it off."

Nicky cocked her eyebrows at this. "Really? So you just thought that you would come here and confess your love or something? Did you think that Alex would just take you back like that?"

A frown appeared on Piper's face as she continued to look at Nicky. "Look, I didn't come...I just wanted..." her voice trailed off as she tried to find the right words to explain what she was doing there.

She suddenly felt like an idiot.

"I think I'm just going to go..." she smiled slightly at Nicky before beginning to walk away. She wasn't in the mood for Nicky's taunting.

"CHAPMAN!" called out Nicky after her.

Piper looked over her shoulder and glared at Nicky. She then watched as Nicky grabbed something from the apartment before closing the door and joining her in the hallway. Piper just stood there watching at Nicky locked up the apartment.

"Let's go to New Jersey," spoke Nicky as she smiled broadly at Piper before linking her arm with hers. She wasn't going to let Piper just walk away like that. Piper had come to Alex's apartment for a reason and was curious to see how this would play out.

Piper didn't say anything as she allowed for Nicky to pull her down the hallway and back into the elevator.

She guessed she was going to New Jersey.


	18. glad you came

Saturday, June 22nd- 5:25 pm

Piper jingled her left leg as she stared nervously our of the window of the car. They had just gotten off the highway and where just miles away from Alex's mom house. It had been years since Piper had driven down this road but she remembered it well from when Alex had first taken her to meet her mom, Suzy.

It seemed like a millions years ago but it was still very clear in her mind.

Suzy Vause was an older version of Alex and had welcomed Piper warmly into the family. She didn't think she would get such a warm welcoming now.

Alex's mom probably hated her for how she'd broken her daughter's heart eight years ago. She drummed her fingers against the door handle as she continued to get lost in thought. She couldn't believe that this was happening. That she hadn't only called off her wedding but was in Nicky's car, driving to Suzy Vause's house to confess her love for Alex.

She couldn't help but feel like she was in some sort of movie. It was like My Best Friend's Wedding but _way_ different.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" asked Piper suddenly as she turned to look over at Nicky. The two hadn't talked much on the hour and half drive but Piper suddenly needed to hear what Nicky thought. She knew Alex better than anyone else.

Nicky casted a sideways glance at Piper before turning down a street. "I don't think you are doing the wrong thing," she replied with a shrug. "Look Chapman, the way I see it is that Alex loves you. And I'm pretty sure that you love her too. Things are complicated when it comes to you too. You've both screwed up in the pass but I think this might be a step in the right direction."

"Do you think she'll take me back?" asked Piper in a quiet voice. "Do you think that she'll hear me out?"

"Look...Vause comes off all tough and shit.." explained Nicky. "But deep down, she's just a pussy."

Piper couldn't help but snort with laughter at this.

"Do not tell her I fucking said that. She would kill me for sure!" smirked Nicky, "But she is vulnerable. Especially when it comes to you. And I think that yes. She will hear you out."

Piper just stared at Nicky for a second longer before casting her attention once again out the window at the passing houses. "But what if she doesn't?"

"Then. I will buy you an ice cream and take you home," replied Nicky.

Piper couldn't help but roll her eyes at this.

The two women just then sat in silence for a moment as Piper pondered what Nicky had just told her. She hoped that Nicky was right and that Alex would at least hear her out.

"Thanks," whispered Piper as she once again turned to look at Nicky and smiled. "You're a good friend!"

Nicky turned her attention off of the road for a second as she looked over at Piper and smirked.

"Anytime, Chapman!"

* * *

"Do you want me to come with you?" asked Nicky as she turned off the engine of the car and looked over at Piper. She could sense that the blonde was nervous. And she didn't blame her. It wasn't everyday that you called off your wedding to travel across the state to pour out your heart to the woman that you loved.

Piper didn't reply right away as she stared up at the house. They were parked just in front of the house on the street. "No," she whispered as she shook her head and looked over at Nicky. "Thanks, though."

She was touched that Nicky would come with her but this was something she needed to do on her own.

Piper then slowly undid her seat belt and pushed opened the passenger door of the car but she did not make a move to get out. She continued to look up at the house. She was surprisingly more nervous now then she'd been when she told Larry that she didn't want to marry him.

"Go get her, Chapman!" spoke Nicky in encouragement to Piper.

Piper nodded her head slowly at this as she looked over at Nicky before getting out of the car.

It was now or never.

Piper held her breath as she walked up the driveway and up the stairs of the front porch. Her heart was racing as a cold sweat ran down her spin. She was not only sweating because of the heat, but of the unknown possibilities the moment that door opened.

She let out a deep breath before opening up the screen door and knocking on the front one.

She stood there for a few moments before there was a response.

_Piper found herself standing completely still as she looked up at her girlfriend's mom. Suzy Vause looked identical in a scary to Alex. Yes, she was older but there was a strong resemblance between mother and daughter that Piper couldn't get over._

_They had the same piercing green eyes and dark raven hair._

_"Ma, this is Piper," came Alex's voice suddenly in her ear. Alex then snaked her arm around Piper's waist briefly, drawing her body in close to hers for a mere second before pulling away. "Piper...this is my ma...Suzy!"_

_Piper smiled warmly at Suzy as their eyes locked on one another. "Hi, Ms. Vause!" she whispered._

_Suzy just stared at Piper for a second before tilting her head back and letting out a throaty chuckle. "Piper! Don't give me any of this Ms. Vause crap! Call me Suzy!" The older woman then winked at Piper before sticking out her hand._

_Piper's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Her smile faded slightly but she soon resumed her composure._

_"Suzy!" she whispered as she placed her hand into Suzy's and gave it a shake._

Suzy Vause knew who it was the moment her eyes lay on Piper. She didn't forget a face. Especially one who had broken her daughter's heart. The older woman just stared at Piper for the longest time it seemed. Alex had explained to her briefly what had gone down with her over the past ten days with Piper.

"Hi, Ms. Vause!" greeted Piper in a warm voice. She squared her shoulders slightly as she shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. "How are you? It's been a while..."

Suzy didn't say anything at first as she continued to look down at Piper. The last time she had seen her was eight years ago. Piper hadn't changed that much, except her hair was shorter. But she still had that Bambi look about her. "Hello, Piper," she stated in a firm voice. She knew why Piper was here, to see Alex.

But she just wasn't sure if she wanted Piper talking to Alex.

The two woman continued to look at each other in silence. Piper wasn't sure what to do. She hadn't thought about what she would say if she saw Suzy.

"Is Alex home?" Piper couldn't help but feel like she was a kid asking if Alex could come out and play.

Suzy pursed her lips in response. She scratched the back of her head before speaking. She was going to make Piper sweat it out a little, she thought.

"She might be..."

"Please, Ms. Vause," begged Piper. "Let me just talk to her. I know you hate me but I truly _love_ your daughter..."

Suzy just raised her eyebrows at Piper. She hadn't been expecting that. The two women continued to stare at each other a moment longer.

Piper didn't know what to say really. She wasn't sure what Suzy was thinking as she continued to gawk at her.

Suzy then suddenly turned her head and looked over her shoulder at someone that Piper couldn't see from her position at the door.

"ALLIE!" she bellowed.

"Yeah, Ma?" asked Alex as she came up behind her mother.

"It's for you," replied Suzy towards her daughter. She smiled at Alex before placing a hand on her shoulder as she walked away and back into the kitchen.

Alex just looked on at her mother with confusion. She never got visitors at her mother's house. She hardly kept in touch with anyone from her hometown. She had hated it here growing up. She then looked away at her mother and turned her attention to the blonde standing in the doorway.

For a second she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her.

"Hi, Alex," whispered Piper, a nervous smile appearing on her face.

"Piper!" replied Alex in shock. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Um...I came here to talk."

Alex just looked at her for a second before taking a step out onto the porch and closing the front door behind her.

Piper took a step back from Alex as she came to stand out on the porch. She leaned against the railing of the porch, watching Alex as she came to stand opposite of her. Alex crossed her arms over her chest and leaned up against the wall of the house. Her green eyes piercing into Piper's.

A silence fell over them as they continued to look at each other.

"So..." began Alex. She assumed that Piper had cancelled the wedding but she wasn't going just to take her back that easily. She wanted to hear what Piper had to say first. Her face was a blank slate of emotion as she continued to look on at Piper, waiting for her to talk.

"I cancelled the wedding," stated Piper, nervously.

Alex just cocked an eyebrow at this. Her lips pursed together in concentration. She wanted to say something but resisted the urge too. She was biting down on her tongue as she continued to look at the blonde.

"I realized I couldn't go through with it. Ever since last night when I told you... I choose Larry... I wanted to take it back. That I wanted you. But then you were walking away and..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to find her words. She knew she had to explain everything to Alex if she wanted her to take her back. "Look, we both know that I suck when it comes to making big decisions. I royally fucking suck."

Alex couldn't help but chuckle slightly at this.

Piper found herself begin to pace back and forth along the porch.

"I've always been like that. Growing up my parents had always made decisions for me. My life was schedule down to the minute...Wake up, go to school, piano lessons then dinner then ballet class then bed... Life was always like a record going around and around. I never got to do what I wanted. I always trying to please someone it seemed. Especially, my mother."

"Growing up, I was taught not to second guess myself. Either you did something or you didn't. You didn't have regrets. You made a choice and you stuck with it. Before coming to Smith. I was just some _yuppy_ boring blonde teenager. I dated the football player and did school plays. I was president of my senior class for fucking sake," Piper knew she was ranting and thinking out loud but she couldn't stop. It was like someone had turned on the faucet of her thoughts and it just kept on flowing out.

"But then it all changed. My parents got a divorce. My mom just got up and left one day after being married to my father for 22 years. She just decided that she didn't love my father anymore and was seeing someone else. It was in that moment I realized that I didn't want to be anything like my mother. I didn't want to be some WASP. I was suppose to go off to UCLA with Polly. But I applied to Smith. I suddenly craved for a different life one that my mother would hate. My mother hated when I told her that I was going to Smith. It was during those five years that I was there that I think I truly found myself. And it was there that I also met Nicky and...you. "

"I had never met anyone like you before. You were sexy and beautiful. I had never felt such an attraction to someone on first look. I was in awe of you and how you just went after what you wanted... no matter what. I fell for you and fast. Those were some of the best years of my life," Piper had stopped pacing and was staring straight at Alex again.

"And life was good. I was happy for once and didn't care what anyone thought. But we both know how I screwed that up. I got scared and I suddenly needed to know about the future. All my life I had some sort of plan. Get good grades. Graduate high school. Go to college...but then I was in my last year and I fucking didn't know what I was going to do...and then your mom got sick."

Alex didn't say anything as Piper continued to talk. It was the first time she was hearing really how Piper had freaked out during that last year they were together and truly the reasons why she had broke it off.

"Then there seemed to be all this pressure suddenly...suddenly I needed to grow up. But I didn't know how too. My mom hated you. Polly was jealous and kept on telling me that I couldn't keep on seeing you. And then there was your job... but it wasn't your job that was the issue Alex," Piper's voice was low as she stared at her feet. "I never liked what you did for a living but I just used that as an excuse when I broke up with you. Your mom was dying and you needed me. And I was scared. I was scared of how I felt about you. I loved you, more than I have ever loved someone. I'm still not sure why I ended it like I did. I just..."

Her voice trailed off as she looked away from Alex and out onto the front lawn. She still wasn't sure why she had ended it when things had been going well for her and Alex.

"I wasn't sure what I was doing in my life and you didn't like talking about the future. And I flipped. I panicked. Just like I panicked last night. With Larry, I had a five year plan. I knew what my life would be... I have always taken the safe route out. After I graduated, I went off to Europe and tried to be happy. But I wasn't. I could only think of you the whole time. I wasn't having any fun. And then after moving in to the City with Polly, I still wasn't happy. I missed you. I missed the life that I had in college. I didn't like this grown up life but I couldn't go back. So I tried. "

"I started to date other girls and guys. I worked as a waitress and tried to make a career as a playwright. But it didn't last. Polly started to date Pete and then soon after was getting married. And I was suddenly forced to choose again. There was this pressure again to grow up and get a proper job. And that's when I went into teaching. And I slowly gave in to the pressure and such and became the nice white lady I was suppose to be," she shrugged her shoulders at this realization. "I met a nice boy and started to settle down with him. Larry wasn't my first choice but he was sweet and I knew he liked me. I gave in to him after a year of him asking me out. He wasn't who I normally date but he was sweet and funny. A real nice guy."

Piper didn't know why she was talking about Larry all the sudden. She knew she was rambling about nothing but she had to get it off her chest.

She had to tell Alex everything.

"I think there was a point in our relationship when I did love him like truly loved him. But deep down inside, I think I always knew that I was settling. Settling for this normal life that I was suppose to have. There were good times. But there would be times too when I would just found myself comparing him to other men or other people I wish I was with...I thought I was happy. But then you came walking into my life again and things changed. It wasn't until now that I didn't have the life I wanted. I was living the life that my mother wanted me to have. I was living Polly's life. " she admitted sadly.

"I think I have always known that my heart belonged to someone else. I just didn't want to face it..."Piper let out a deep before locking eyes with Alex yet again.

Alex looked at Piper intensely. She was overcome with a deep desire to kiss her. She slowly licked her lips as she enclosed the space between them. Her hands immediately cupped the sides of her face before pulling her into a kiss.

The kiss lasted for a moment before Piper pulled away.

"What was that for?" asked Piper in confusion.

"To shut you up!" teased Alex, a smile appearing suddenly on her face. She lowered her hands from Piper's face but she did not move away. "Man, I forgot how you could ramble, kid."

Piper smiled slightly back at this. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. It had been a lot to confess, she thought. "Sorry, she murmured, her blue eyes searching Alex's face for any traces of anger.

"I'm joking," whispered Alex as she leaned in for another kiss and her arms suddenly wrapped around Piper's waist.

The kiss was soft and tender at first as both woman gave in to these feeling coursing through their bodies. It deepened slightly before Piper pulled away again. There was still something she needed to say to Alex.

"Look Alex. I love you. I fucking love you. I want to be with you...and I hope it's not too late...but I choose you."

Alex continued to stare at Piper before a look of pure joy came over her. That was all she needed to hear. Yes, they had their issues. But they would work through them, she thought. Piper wasn't perfect and neither was she. There was still things that needed to be talked about but at this moment she didn't care. She just needed to hear those three words come out of Piper's mouth.

"I love you too."

Piper grinned widely at this. She then wrapped her arms tightly around Alex's neck and crashed her mouth passionately to hers. Life suddenly seemed perfect in that moment. She wasn't anyone's fiancé. She was free to be with who ever she wanted. And she chose Alex.

Their mouths opened and closed against one another. Tongues met and twisted together as all temptation was given in too. It was all passion and fire between them at that moment. They were finally free to be together and it felt so damn good.

They broke apart a few moments later to come up for air. They smiled sheepishly at each other as their foreheads touched.

"How did you get here anyways?" asked Alex as it dawned on her where they were. She hadn't told Piper that she was going to be in New Jersey.

"Nicky," whispered Piper as she gestured over to where Nicky's car was still parked in front of the house.

"Nicky's here!?" stated Alex in astonishment. She continued to hold Piper against her as she looked over to where the familiar blonde's car was parked.

There was then a loud honking noise coming from the car as Nicky realized that the couple was looking at her.

"Yeah...I went to your apartment but Nicky was there...she told me where you were and gave me a lift," explained Piper her cheeks once again flushing with embarrassment. "I wouldn't have come but it was Nicky's idea..."

"I'm glad you came," whispered Alex as she once again returned her attention onto Piper. She was extremely glad that Nicky had convinced Piper to come all the way to Jersey. She needed to remember to buy Nicky something as a thank you for all her support and such over the pass few days, hell for the pass few years.

Nicky had always been her and Piper's little cupid it seemed.

She owed her.


End file.
